Trump Says UFC Bouncy House Could Be Permanent, Like Eiffel Tower!
Just another eyesore in a life full of them.
It’s impossible to give every visual atrocity Donald Trump has imposed on this nation against its will the time it really deserves. The senile old man thinks he was once one of the world’s great developers and businessmen, perhaps the most evil lie people who allegedly love him allow him to believe. It sets him up for embarrassment after humiliation after embarrassment.
He thinks the cheap Home Depot faux-gold plating and dementia labels he’s put all over the walls inside the White House are pretty.
He seems to truly believe the malodorous lie that, whatever else he is trying to build in place of the former East Wing — bunker for scaredy presidents who don’t want to leave? Epstein Files Library so he can go focus on his good memories when he’s having a full dementia day or is just sad? — for him to design a gaudy, trashy ballroom on top would be a gift to the country, nay, to the world.
Same with his ugly, trashy dictator arch. The wrecking balls it’s going to take to start demolishing all of this starting on the first day of the next administration, it’s going to be the best money your tax dollars ever spent. (And yes, next president, it needs to happen that fast. He needs to be forced to watch every monument he’s built to himself crumble. He needs to experience that rejection and pain. It’s the only way for America to heal.)
Trump is obsessed with the idea that if you were somehow able to stand up his Reflecting Pool, it would be taller than many skyscrapers! He is also obsessed with the fact that the word “reflecting” is in its name.
That was yesterday. “Our Pool Is Bigger than Skyscrapers.” You can imagine a young, needy Trump whose father doesn’t hug him telling all the kids at school about it, and the other kids being like “Why does this ugly weirdo think that’s a good size comparison to make?”
Kids: they have Trump Derangement Syndrome.
And also yesterday, perhaps the trashiest thing of them all, Trump said in a TikTok video that maybe the temporary bouncy house-lookin’ ass thing he’s erected on the White House lawn for the June 14 “Freedom 250”/Trump’s Birthday White House UFC Cage Fight — this is hell, we live in hell — might just be left there permanently. Because that is what level of degradation his brain has reached.
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He said, “We’re building something in front of the White House that’s quite attractive to a lot of people,” so maybe they will just leave it up, like the Eiffel Tower, which was supposed to be torn down immediately after the World’s Fair. (OK, it was likely to come down after 20 years, so Trump kind of mangled his history, gosh, he’s never done that before.)
“I’m lookin’ at it and maybe we’ll never ever take it down!”
So add it to the wrecking ball list, President Ocasio-Cortez or President Ossoff. Raffle the honors off of pushing the “destroy” button to Black people and immigrants and women and LGBTQ+ people and people who have reported they were raped or sexually assaulted by Donald Trump. Make Trump watch it on TV.
In his TikTok video, the camera shoots to a picture of the bouncy house Trump thinks is so pretty:
That’s what Trump thinks would be a fine addition to the set of visual atrocities he wants to mark his territory with, as Jon Ossoff said the other day, because he knows nobody will build these monuments to him if he doesn’t do it himself. No one will honor him when he’s out of office or dead.
Maybe he thinks if he builds these eyesores it just makes them harder to remove. (And if any word describes Trump’s life, his presidencies, and his construction work, it’s “eyesore.”) Perhaps, but we think as usual the laughingstock loser is underestimating how much all patriotic Americans and the entire world hate him. Watching his eyesores get smashed to smithereens will be one of the happiest, most joyful days in the hopefully bright future of the United States of America.
It’s up to us to make sure the best days are yet to come.
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St. Louis Arch: Gateway to the West
DC Arch: Gateway to the Pest
OMG I actually had the thought yesterday that he was going to say that it was going to be permanent. I should have gotten a lottery ticket.