War On Christmas Over (If You Want It)
Perhaps the 'War On Christmas' was only in their minds all along.
For the last century or so, many Christians have chosen to spend the run-up to their lord and savior’s birthday condemning those who don’t practice their religion for not celebrating it hard enough; for daring to say “Happy Holidays” to strangers instead of presuming that they are Christian; for not wanting to mix tax money, state property and public schools up with religion; and, of course, for having insufficiently festive cups.
This, they claimed, was a War on Christmas.
According to one history, it started (as it so often does) with Henry Ford claiming that Jewish people were trying to destroy Christmas. “People sometimes ask why 3,000,000 Jews can control the affairs of 100,000,000 Americans. In the same way that ten Jewish students can abolish the mention of Christmas and Easter out of schools containing 3,000 Christian pupils,” he wrote in his famously batshit newsletter, The International Jew.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it a bad thing that we live in a country where a majority is not supposed to be allowed to impose their religion on a minority, but I tend to be a pretty big fan of freedom.
It was later picked up in the 1960s by the famously paranoid John Birch Society, which claimed there was an ongoing “assault” on Christmas. "UN fanatics...What they now want to put over on the American people is simply this: Department stores throughout the country are to utilize UN symbols and emblems as Christmas decorations.”
That really doesn’t seem like it actually happened.
This year, however, a YouGov survey found that there has been a sharp drop over the last two years in the number of Americans who actually believe there is a war on Christmas. In 2022, 39 percent of Americans believed in the War on Christmas. This year, only 23 percent do. The numbers have even fallen among Republicans, who have gone from 59 percent to 36 percent.
So what happened? Did we all roll over and accept Christian nationalism? Did we start saying “Merry Christmas” to people regardless of their personal beliefs? I didn’t, doesn’t seem like anyone else did, either. Did the Satanic Temple stop putting statues of Baphomet near nativity scenes on public property? Nope, they definitely did not. Did Starbucks’s holiday cups feature anything specifically Christmassy, apart from being red and green? Not really. Also, they are red, green and light pink, which is not generally considered a Christmas color.
It seems like the only real difference between this year and every other year I have been alive is that Fox News and the Right in general are not freaking out over every single thing they consider remotely “too secular” this year. The One Million Moms have been far too busy fighting the War on Wicked (which they are mad about because witches and sorcery and LGBTQ+ subtext and actors being in the movie, which they also erroneously believe is a “children’s movie”) to bother.
Some have even decided that since they haven’t heard much about it, that it is time to declare victory, even though literally nothing has changed.
Now, keep in mind, Target has always had Christmas shit. They just also had other items and signage that said things like “Happy Holidays!” or “Season’s Greetings!” or “Happy Hanukkah!” or “Happy Kwanzaa!”, which they also still have. Disingenuous people, however, would take pictures of those signs and not the “Merry Christmas” ones to convince relatively daft people that they were under attack. And it worked. Now, they’re showing things as they always have been and declaring “victory.”
Really, it’s all about the constant mindfuck.
Lately, the Right has had far more luck having quick moral panics in endless succession and ending them the moment it becomes clear that they are bullshit, usually in favor of another hysterical narrative that is also bullshit. I mean, who can even remember a few months ago when their big cause was “Haitians eating cats?”
And how could they even be bothered to care about Coca-Cola putting polar bears on their cans instead of Santa when they had to spend this whole week claiming, erroneously, that the Wisconsin school shooter was transgender and, also erroneously, that all recent shooters have been transgender?
When you’re provoking outrage about things that are not especially reality-based or that make no sense, it’s usually best to move on quickly before people start to catch on too much. I’m not saying they’re all that swift, but just look at this person coming very close to realizing that saying “Happy Holidays” was actually always just about having good manners and not assuming what religion people are?
I do, however, wonder how long the “Victory at last!” tactic can work for them, when so much of the Right’s success has been linked to the “You are the Real Americans and you have to take your country back!” narrative. If they already believe they have their country back, they might just calm down to the point where the next hysteria might not even register — and then where would they be?
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
I worship at the year-‘round altar of Our Lord and Savior Hello Kitty. Its not that I’m particularly “woke” (whatever the fuck that means to the RW grievance machine), it’s simply that I rightly recognize that felines are our true overlords.
Christmas started the war when it started annexing November.