Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. What an utterly amazing convention that was, right? Let’s cap the good times with some dessert. I made a cocktail celebrating Kamala Harris a few weeks ago, and I thought it would be appropriate to shake one up for Gov. Tim Walz as well. Yes, I know he doesn’t drink, and his palate is a little … delicate. But Wisconsin supper club culture has a solid answer to that. Let’s make up a Wisconsin Brandy Alexander, with an NA option. Here’s the recipe:
Wisconsin Brandy Alexander
1 large scoop Jeni’s Darkest Chocolate Ice Cream
½ oz Korbel Brandy
½ oz creme de cacao
2 T Cocoa Krispies
Chocolate sprinkles (optional)
Simple syrup
Place a coupe glass in the freezer to chill. Add all ingredients but the simple syrup to a cocktail shaker. Muddle ingredients until the ice cream is softened. Coat the rim of the chilled glass with simple syrup. Rim the glass with chocolate sprinkles or more cereal. Top with a small scoop of ice cream. Cherry optional.
NA option: Replace brandy and creme de cacao with locally sourced chocolate milk or whole milk.
Wisconsin does things different when it comes to cocktails. We talked a bit about Wisconsin's peculiarities when I made a Blackberry Old Fashioned a few months back, but the Badger State also likes to use ice cream in other cream-based cocktails. Brandy Alexanders, Grasshoppers, Pink Squirrels — all of these creamy classics become boozy milkshakes up North. It’s definitely a calorie bomb, but old-school cocktails like the Grasshopper were intended as delicious indulgences.
The trick with any boozy milkshake is to go light on the alcohol. Too much booze and the milkshake becomes thin and soupy. Korbel brandy provides sharpness and depth, but too much will overpower the cream with alcohol burn. A sweet liqueur like creme de cacao or creme de menthe will make the drink tooth-achingly sweet if not used in moderation.
The ice cream is really the star of the show here. The Midwest is synonymous with dairy for very good reasons, and it’s not hard to find a premium ice cream like Jeni’s to make this cocktail sing. Traditionally, a boozy Wisconsin milkshake uses vanilla ice cream as its base. But I decided to play off the creme de cacao and go full-bore chocolate for this drink. Jeni’s Darkest Chocolate is so intense you can actually taste the bitter cacao in the cream. The deep chocolate flavor helps to keep this drink somewhat balanced — well, as balanced as any ice cream drink can be.
Cereal milk — the stuff left over in the bottom of a bowl of sugar cereal — is a fashionable flavor right now in cocktails. I don’t get the appeal myself, but I thought I’d play along by adding some Cocoa Krispies to the glass. A little malt flavor emphasizes the cocoa, while providing some additional texture to add interest to the drink.
Let’s talk ingredients:
Jeni’s Darkest Chocolate Ice Cream: A locally made ice cream from your local shop or a premium regional brand is your best bet. If you aren’t lucky enough to have either option, settle for a national brand with a short list of ingredients, such as Breyer’s. Big quarts of commercial ice cream tend to be over-churned and full of air instead of cream, but one makes do. As much as I love Ben & Jerry’s, there’s too many add-ins to make a quality milkshake.
Korbel Brandy: Korbel is the traditional brandy of choice in Wisconsin, and that’s just about all the good things I can say about it. I’m using it here for tradition’s sake, but it would be a strong move to use Hennessey or Merkow in this drink. Brandy is very much a “you get what you pay for” sort of liquor; quality costs.
Creme de Cacao: Get the clear stuff, not the dark brown. The color is just chemical dyes we don’t need. I don’t see much high-end creme de cacao out there, so De Kuyper is fine.
Cocoa Krispies: My daughter made a strong argument for Cocoa Pebbles as the superior chocolate cereal, but I chose this brand for its malt flavor and the dark chocolate milk it creates when you dunk it in milk.
NA Option: Obviously, Gov. Walz would prefer to skip the booze here. That’s more than fine — a top-notch milkshake is still a top-notch milkshake. But do use quality local dairy to replace the brandy and liqueur. The biggest sin any bartender can commit when crafting an NA cocktail is replacing booze with cheap ingredients. This is a good place to break that habit.
In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!
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OPEN THREAD!
Yeesh. Today at one of his little Nazi circle jerks, The Asshole says that immigrants are taking the black jobs (and Hispanic too!). I mean, there’s just so much racism and entitlement there, I hardly know where to begin.
Reposted from the previous thread. A short video clip from Zyxomma & Meccalopolis' wedding where Wonkette gets a shout out. https://youtube.com/shorts/AI1LEKLOar0?si=tgyd4KEqfM94KqY6