Dear Matthew Hooper, I have a question that you are entirely unsuited for. Since you didn't specificy apropos questions, I will ask it of you anyway: Is Hengelo really necessary?
(This is a translated niche Netherlands political satire reference that absolutely nobody here will understand, it doesn't apply to anything even vaguely related to either Wonkette or bartending, and even if someone does understand it, at best it will leave them confused about why it was mentioned in this context.)
My grandparents used to insist that it had to be Meh-DEE--na because there was a Meh-DIE-na in Western NY (where they hailed from). Which made zero sense to me then, and even less now.
It was always their stopping point to and from their house in Niagara County to ours in Dayton. The Dutch Pantry by the interstate specifically...
Amaretto? Feh. Too fussy. This drink will suck just fine without it.
If you want to challenge yourself to design a cocktail around a weird, small market soda, may I suggest Mr. Pibb? I understand that its flavor comes from prunes...
Not a question, but wow -- I had no idea Moxie was still in production. Never had it before, but since I consume a lot of pre-1950 media I've heard of it. Since I'd never seen it anywhere, I just assumed it dropped off the face of the Earth at some point, probably before I was born (or soon after).
Energy drinks scare me. Whenever I have to drive from Jersey to DC to my daughter's school, I hit a couple of those Starbucks Triple Shots to make the trip there & back. Then I don't sleep for 2 days & my digestion quits. I know that a lot of young people like cocktails with Red Bull & other shit, but I think they're crazy.
Hey, what's the most toxic cocktail you ever created?
Hey Hooper, got a question. I get what you said about Moxie being a stronger mixer, but I'm staring at a two-liter of RC Cola and wondering what you'd mixed with that?
Disaronno. Should it be banned for college students who want to pour it into black coffee, just to feel louche while writing midterm papers at the last minute?
Thanks for the walk down memory lane. My dad’s go to drink was an Old Granddad highball, which consisted of a shot of bourbon in a glass of ginger ale. It’s the drink that got him through B17 flight school and he just kept drinking it for many years after the war, often accompanied by a Dutch Masters cigar. He was a man of simple tastes but he knew what he liked.
I never notice the stone fruit in JD because I can't get past the banana esters, which they're oddly proud of, given they're the result of really pushing the distillation process. Also why that stuff is hot as fuck. I don't like Jack, in case you can't tell.
My sister threw a party back in '63 that featured the usual 'tonics' as we called them. Included among the popular sodas of the time was a quart of Moxie. I was the only one who liked it. For my birthday a few years ago, my daughter gave me bright orange y-shirt. Think public works orange. It has the Moxie label emblazoned across the front and "It's Wickahd Good" on the back. Interestingly, they had a bottling plant in my town.
The line "the worst jack and coke I ever had" reminds me of one line in a great song, Times is Hard by Loudon Wainwright III: "the worst half hour you ever had". The song is a reminder of just how profoundly fucked up the country was left by the last republican president before Trump.
Thing I learned yesterday: Did you know there's a disco version of a Neil Young song?
In 1978, Neil Young gave one of his songs to singer and friend Nicolette Larson, "Lotta Love", who turned it into a big pop hit. When it was released, the record label made a 12" disco mix for dance clubs, which didn't make any impression.
I've cleaned up the not inconsiderable mess left in the kitchen and front room resulting from paul's homemade chili endeavors last night. The man is entirely incapable of cleaning up after himself, so help me Sagan.
If nothing else these necessary efforts will help me retain my slim, trim figure well into my seventies....if they don't KILL me first.
One thing I'd like to see a reliable news or research outlet do is a detailed survey of independent voters, particularly those that changed registration from the Democratic Party since Trump first took office.
Independent or unaffiliated voters have been the fastest-growing segment of registrations for awhile now. Republicans seem to paint voters leaving the Democrats as conservatives. But I'm willing to bet that many, if not most, are leaving because the damned Democratic leadership in DC and in many states is so goddamn timid against fascism and so willing to throw their constituents under the bus to appeal to "centrist" voters.
The Democratic leadership is stuck in the politics of thirty or forty years ago and haven't been responding to a Republican Party moving harder right and authoritarian since the Obama years.
Going to work in a bit. Questions here.
Dear Matthew Hooper, I have a question that you are entirely unsuited for. Since you didn't specificy apropos questions, I will ask it of you anyway: Is Hengelo really necessary?
(This is a translated niche Netherlands political satire reference that absolutely nobody here will understand, it doesn't apply to anything even vaguely related to either Wonkette or bartending, and even if someone does understand it, at best it will leave them confused about why it was mentioned in this context.)
Outstanding, sir. 10/10. A question: is it pronounced Meh-DEE-na or Meh-DIE-na? Asking for all those who have never visited.
Meh-DIE-na. There are even T-shirts about the correct pronunciation.
If you folks ever produce “The Worst Jack and Coke I Ever Had” t-shirts, there are Wonkers interested in purchasing remotely. Just sayin’.
My grandparents used to insist that it had to be Meh-DEE--na because there was a Meh-DIE-na in Western NY (where they hailed from). Which made zero sense to me then, and even less now.
It was always their stopping point to and from their house in Niagara County to ours in Dayton. The Dutch Pantry by the interstate specifically...
Amaretto? Feh. Too fussy. This drink will suck just fine without it.
If you want to challenge yourself to design a cocktail around a weird, small market soda, may I suggest Mr. Pibb? I understand that its flavor comes from prunes...
Not a question, but wow -- I had no idea Moxie was still in production. Never had it before, but since I consume a lot of pre-1950 media I've heard of it. Since I'd never seen it anywhere, I just assumed it dropped off the face of the Earth at some point, probably before I was born (or soon after).
I believe it was recently purchased by Coca-Cola, which is why it is getting more distribution right now.
It's supposed to be heavily caffeinated.
24 mg of caffeine. Way less than an energy drink. It just tastes like it ought to be chock full of caffeine.
Energy drinks scare me. Whenever I have to drive from Jersey to DC to my daughter's school, I hit a couple of those Starbucks Triple Shots to make the trip there & back. Then I don't sleep for 2 days & my digestion quits. I know that a lot of young people like cocktails with Red Bull & other shit, but I think they're crazy.
Hey, what's the most toxic cocktail you ever created?
This'll be fun.
Hey Hooper, got a question. I get what you said about Moxie being a stronger mixer, but I'm staring at a two-liter of RC Cola and wondering what you'd mixed with that?
I haven't had an RC in forever, even before I gave up drinking sugary sodas. I don't even remember what they taste like.
One half a fifth.
Wow. Penultimate working class cocktail.
You need to set up a Reaction Cam and sell photo shots to the brave souls who try this one.
Disaronno. Should it be banned for college students who want to pour it into black coffee, just to feel louche while writing midterm papers at the last minute?
"...feel louche while w̶r̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶asking A1 to write midterm papers at the last minute?"
I am given to believe that the college experience has changed...
"...feel louche while w̶r̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶asking A1 to write midterm papers at the last minute?"
I am given to believe that the college experience has changed...
lolno
😄😄
Thanks for the walk down memory lane. My dad’s go to drink was an Old Granddad highball, which consisted of a shot of bourbon in a glass of ginger ale. It’s the drink that got him through B17 flight school and he just kept drinking it for many years after the war, often accompanied by a Dutch Masters cigar. He was a man of simple tastes but he knew what he liked.
Best way to be.
When will the Happy Hour drink just become 2oz. of rotgut vodka in a highball glass, neat?
I'm feeling like we're about there.
A warm half-pint chugged on the steps down to the subway...
Ah, you've been to London?
Oh no! Is it time to break out the Bad Vodka?
https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5290
https://www.wonkette.com/p/welcome-to-wonkette-happy-hour-with-this-week-s-cocktail-vodka-shots
https://www.wonkette.com/p/welcome-to-wonkette-happy-hour-with-0ee
https://www.wonkette.com/p/welcome-to-wonkette-happy-hour-with-461
I can't really tell cheap from expensive vodka, so I just buy the big jug of bottom shelf clear poison.
The color of the flames...
It has to be *nice* vodka
Or a *nice* bottle of wine 🍷
We are the civilized ones
https://www.youtube.com/live/iQBsTNnpa4U?si=fBm7GTB3Y4Ku33xp
I think "Tater" and David Brooks have a future together in journalism.
I never notice the stone fruit in JD because I can't get past the banana esters, which they're oddly proud of, given they're the result of really pushing the distillation process. Also why that stuff is hot as fuck. I don't like Jack, in case you can't tell.
JD is only good if you drink too much of it.
This is true - after shot #4 it seems fine!
Jack Daniels is the worst shit on the shelf.
Any shelf.
If all they have is Jack... Jack Daniels is still the worst shit on the shelf.
Even a shelf with no other booze on it? Not even Ouzo?
If all they have is Jack, they don't have jack.
Your next task: a cocktail that includes Irn-Bru, Scotland’s weird soft drink.
G&B. Then vomit.
Why do I need to "verify my age" to read a fucking comment?
That's for the Spicy Stories Section. You need a note from your parents, teacher and pastor.
“The worst Jack and coke I’ve ever had” is way better than a chick tract.
The local Agway has a sign saying “Time for Chick Orders” and every time I see it I imagine ordering bundles of Chick tracts.
I gotta disagree. Those things are great, but not for the reason Jack Chick intended.
Tater was trying to date her! *cracks own self up*
🤭😄
“Does anybody want a hater?”
Maybe later, gator.
Don't be Darth Vader, masturbator!
Short of having the soda warm, or flat, how can you mess up Jack & Coke?
Y'all see Mark Carney's Davos address?
Real talk for the ages:
https://youtu.be/btqHDhO4h10?si=UGsDajiBxzH7_Zhx
My bet on Donnie's plane 'malfunction': 'Carney fuse' blew.
must try some Moxie
I love Moxie—spicy-bitter is my fave flavor combo in a drink—and if I still drank, I would sip this with joy.
Hi! Alien researcher here documenting Earth's beautiful disasters.
Just dropped Dr. Thool's foreword: he spent years documenting drinking culture across 63 countries while losing all objectivity.
Attempted clinical detachment. Achieved cat ownership.
Worth a read if you enjoy bureaucratic collapse and honest warnings.
https://fieldnotesfromkira.substack.com/p/dr-thools-warning-he-tried-but-stayed 🛸
Moxie is nor a thing here in the Pacific NW.. And reading the descprition makes me happy about that.
My sister threw a party back in '63 that featured the usual 'tonics' as we called them. Included among the popular sodas of the time was a quart of Moxie. I was the only one who liked it. For my birthday a few years ago, my daughter gave me bright orange y-shirt. Think public works orange. It has the Moxie label emblazoned across the front and "It's Wickahd Good" on the back. Interestingly, they had a bottling plant in my town.
"You get all types at a bar, and sometimes dealing with the “characters” inspires some stories. This one’s bitter, complex, and very very strong."
Sounds like quite a character, all right . . . but what about the drink?
The line "the worst jack and coke I ever had" reminds me of one line in a great song, Times is Hard by Loudon Wainwright III: "the worst half hour you ever had". The song is a reminder of just how profoundly fucked up the country was left by the last republican president before Trump.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oK9zSF2HQI
And here's another musical reminder of the state in which republican presidents leave the country when they make their exits:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdn3O6aaMNc
It's almost like there's a pattern with republican presidents - the need for ballads of misery associated with their terms.
Then elect a Dem to clean up the mess.
Rinse and repeat.
Someone gifted me a bottle of La Higuera sotol. Do you have any good cocktails featuring this unique liquor?
Thing I learned yesterday: Did you know there's a disco version of a Neil Young song?
In 1978, Neil Young gave one of his songs to singer and friend Nicolette Larson, "Lotta Love", who turned it into a big pop hit. When it was released, the record label made a 12" disco mix for dance clubs, which didn't make any impression.
https://youtu.be/7nPgBnygRLg?si=KvXS8ZdXfosrLu03
Yes, things suck. But if you’re reading this I hope you have an amazing weekend!
[snarls]
I've cleaned up the not inconsiderable mess left in the kitchen and front room resulting from paul's homemade chili endeavors last night. The man is entirely incapable of cleaning up after himself, so help me Sagan.
If nothing else these necessary efforts will help me retain my slim, trim figure well into my seventies....if they don't KILL me first.
Was the chili good at least?
paul certainly enjoyed it.
Every night before bed, I clean the kitchen. In the morning I make the bed and wash myself. Then, for about one minute, everything is clean.
"I just cleaned up this mess! Do you think you could leave it alone for 10 minutes?!?" -Mr. Incredible, paraphrased
https://bsky.app/profile/geekwiththat.bsky.social/post/3mcmpy6iiwk2v
Happy #caturday. If you need something nice for your timeline here is MooCow and Meownu Reeves having a rather wholesome moment. #catsky
Cats really know how to live.
https://bsky.app/profile/wajali.bsky.social/post/3mclee5q2rk2o
If you keep bending the knee to a fascist, they will keep bullying you. They see weakness as opportunity, complicity as agreement.
The fact Schumer is still willing to fund DHS should OUTRAGE all of you.
One thing I'd like to see a reliable news or research outlet do is a detailed survey of independent voters, particularly those that changed registration from the Democratic Party since Trump first took office.
Independent or unaffiliated voters have been the fastest-growing segment of registrations for awhile now. Republicans seem to paint voters leaving the Democrats as conservatives. But I'm willing to bet that many, if not most, are leaving because the damned Democratic leadership in DC and in many states is so goddamn timid against fascism and so willing to throw their constituents under the bus to appeal to "centrist" voters.
The Democratic leadership is stuck in the politics of thirty or forty years ago and haven't been responding to a Republican Party moving harder right and authoritarian since the Obama years.
I’m an unaffiliated voter due to the fact the money begs, dinner time phone calls, and the unrelenting stream of political crap were just so annoying.
Tell me he's not corrupt.
𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘫𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘴: "𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 2026 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨"
https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mchx5r3gl725
Out to lunch is what he is. Needs replacing ASAP, and I think AOC is up to the job.
i am OUTRAGED. happy?
Caturday! https://substack.com/@tootsstansbury/note/c-201109578