What If You Threw A $515,000 Frat Boy 'Flagstock' MAGA Bro Party And Nobody Came
It had Hooters ma'ams too.
Back in April, a couple dozen fraternity bros at the University of North Carolina were super-pissed at groups protesting Israel’s war in Gaza, especially after one of the bros saw that a US flag had been taken down from a campus flagpole and replaced by a Palestinian flag. After university staff put a new US flag up, the frat guys surrounded the flagpole and prevented protesters from taking the second flag down too.
This greatest display of patriotism ever in American history won social media stardom for the frat bros, praise from Donald Trump, who literally humps the flag at every opportunity, and a speaking spot at July’s Republican National Convention. What’s more, Republican activist John Noonan, who has worked on a few GOP campaigns, organized a fundraiser on GoFundMe that eventually brought in $515,492, which he said would go to fund a “rager” in the young patriots’ honor. (It is unknown how much of the half million dollars went to the rager, but dude promised to give the extra to some other surely amazing cause.) He explained on the fundraising site that “Commie losers across the country have invaded college campuses,” abetted by “weak University Administrators” who failed to stomp the protests flat, as one does in a democracy that honors free speech for the right people. The fundraising message praised the “triumphant Brohemians” who “protected Old Glory from the unwashed Marxist horde — laughing at their shrieks and wails and shielding the Stars & Stripes from Soviet missiles.”
Well sure, the USSR is still a thing, and its missiles can be turned back by patriots standing in a block around a flagpole.
Unfortunately, as the UNC student newspaper The Daily Tarheel points out, actual attendance at Monday’s rager, dubbed “Flagstock” was a tad bit underwhelming.
Organizers of the event said that they had distributed up to 7,000 tickets to various UNC fraternities and sororities, with an expected turnout in the thousands.
An estimated 250-350 attendees were present at the event, with a large portion not appearing to be college students.
Part of the problem was that the tickets were invitation only, and unlike Woodstock, where “tickets” became more of a collectors’ item than a means of admission, the organizers initially turned away anyone without a ticket. The location — outside a VFW hall in Chapel Hill — wasn’t publicly announced until Monday morning, and shortly before the event, a member of one of the musical acts, “Big & Rich,” was begging people on Twitter to attend anyway, and explaining in advance that if only it had been made public, more people would be there.
Anyone in the Chapel Hill,NC area: ◦Flagstock is going to be live in Chapel Hill and you are invited. The mystery spot is reveled. American Legion Post 6 come see Rome from Sublime, Five for Fighting , Big n Rich, Aaron Lewis and Lee greenwood and more You have plenty of time as the music starts at 730. Totally free! Salute the UNC boys! 3700 NC -54 chapel hill 27516
Do you recall what was reveled, the Day The Music Was Mediocre?
As the Charlotte News & Observer noted (free read with email signup), the initial hopes that up to 3,000 would show up were revised downward by Monday since the organizers had only sent out about half the 6,000 to 7,000 tickets planned. But surely a thousand attendees, for sure! The paper guessed that attendance appeared to be “a few hundred people.”
Here’s some video of the ENORMOUS turnout for the rager, which included a flyover by some privately owned jets in formation (definitely not a military aerobatic team, even with the red, white and blue smoke).
Oh, hey, maybe those military surplus jets took out the Soviet missiles, too!
As it turns out, even some of the bros who guarded the flagpole in April were less than thrilled by the one-sided partisan tone the event took on. UNC senior Brendan Schultz, who took part, told the Daily Tarheel,
"I don't love the optics of us being seen as counter-protesters," Schultz said. "That was never the intention."
He also said that action on April 30 has turned into a "red versus blue thing" when it shouldn't have been that way, referencing UNC fraternity brothers speaking at the Republican National Convention this July.
Schultz also wrote in a statement after the concert that
“When the 'artists' that were there are singing lyrics like “Fuck Joe Biden” as they did last night, it’s evident that in no way were [organizers] Susan or John trying to hide the agenda that was being pushed. […] "This was not a frat party, it was a MAGA party, plain and simple.”
Still, rightwing media were pleased, and that’s all that matters. The Washington Free Beacon didn’t mention the small turnout, but instead insisted the Patriot Bros were unified in their support for Trumpmerica, and only sissies and commies would disagree. In fact, the whole point of the event, its reporting suggested, was to Own The Libs, and especially journalists, who are the scum of the earth and hate fun! This is literally the lede:
Journalists don't get invited to many parties that are actually fun. They always ruin the vibe. This sad truth was reiterated on Monday hours before Flagstock 2024 when a journalist from Politico (the news blog located many, many floors below the Washington Free Beacon) asked party organizer John Noonan about the lack of female artists scheduled to perform. Moments later, once the filthy journos had been escorted to the fenced-off fun exclusion zone where they belong, a group of supremely talented female artists arrived in the VIP tent—courtesy of Hooters, which also provided the catering. Representation matters, after all.
America is about flags, beer, tiddies, and telling wimps who don’t love Trump to shut up and get the fuck out of OUR America.
And also it’s about insisting the 400 people showing up for a half-million dollar party is a HUGE SUCCESS, loosers! (Spelling is elitist.)
[Daily Tarheel / Charlotte News & Observer (free to read with email) / Washington Free Beacon]
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Noonan is keeping the $499,000 left over after throwing a "rager".
Just THINK of the number of bromaniacs that missed Rome from Sublime?!!!
Oh, what a world! What a world!