WHO’S A Pretty Princess Defense Secretary? WHO’S A Pretty Princess Defense Secretary?
We guess if you're into the 'caked with makeup' look.
It appears the week of vomitous leaks about the incompetence, carelessness, and general loser trashiness of Secretary Shitfaced AKA Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has, on day four, reached the point where they’re just trying to humiliate him as much as possible. Considering what total loser garbage Hegseth is, we imagine there’s a lot of material available.
CBS News came through late Wednesday with the revelation that Prissy Pete moved in to the Pentagon and immediately demanded they construct him a make-up studio, where he can have his make-up done. Just for fun? Well, we’re not going to say it isn’t fun for him — one must look their best while they’re bringing masculinity back to the military and kicking out trans people! — but it’s because he needs to be able to do his make-up for his millions of TV appearances per day, obviously.
The lady must be able to preen!
What, did you not think that was the Defense secretary’s job, to go on TV constantly and say sweet nothings through the screen to your Daddy who hired you? Ha ha, you have never been a part of Donald Trump’s harem of subservient sluts, obviously!
So the thing cost taxpayers a few thousand bucks, because we guess there’s no room for rooting out WASTE! and FRAUD! when what really makes America great again is LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!
“Changes and upgrades to the Pentagon Briefing Room are nothing new and routinely happen during changes in an administration,” a Defense Department spokesperson said in a statement to CBS News.
Some Defense secretaries are just more high-maintenance than others, is all.
Take heart, though: The pretty lady Kaboodle Barbie makeup facility that was originally planned was in the neighborhood of $40K, but it got “scaled back,” says CBS.
Defense Secretary Old Rotting Past-His-Sell-By-Date Ken whined on Twitter when the news was revealed:
REEEER MEOW!
Two things:
Oh, we can see the makeup, honey.
Note how close to the surface his pathetic masculinity issues are. His first instinct is to attack trans people. What a sick, sad little coward of a boy.
Anyway, there’s a new chair and a new princess mirror and new makeup lights, it all sounds very All About Eve. But don’t you worry that some poor soul’s been kidnapped off the street to become Pete’s personal makeup artist. A “Defense official” who spoke to CBS News says Secretary Shitfaced does it himself.
But it wasn’t his idea. It was the idea of some other Fox News nitwit who now has an important job at the Pentagon as a special assistant to Secretary Shitfaced, because this is a fucking unserious administration full of babbling dipshits and fools who used to work at Fox News.
But everybody agreed that OMG YES! PETE NEEDS A MAKEUP ROOM!
The chief Pentagon spokesman, Sean Parnell, and the defense secretary's wife, Jennifer Hegseth, also a former Fox producer, expressed their approval for the upgrade before it was undertaken, one of the sources said.
There’s his third-wife-for-however-long again. Is she doing the actual Defense secretary job? She shows up so much it makes us wonder. Maybe he’s too drunk to fulfill his duties so she’s understudying the role? Just asking.
Anyway, this is all just very normal and cool.
It’s really very funny, too. For an administration that’s so anti-trans, so anti-LGBTQ+, so utterly hateful and Nazi, so preternaturally and sensitively obsessed with projecting an appearance of masculinity, these boys sure do wear a lot of makeup. We guess it’s a direct reflection of the orange-faced con artist and fading Sunset Boulevard diva at the top, himself a total paragon of manliness.
If we start hearing about Hegseth or other Cabinet secretaries having their offices remade to look like “Downton Abbey” sets, well, we are sure there’ll be a good reason for that too.
Again, this is what happens when you have a chief executive who doesn’t hire for competence, but rather hires people he sees on TV who lick his ass through the screen and comfort him and tell him he’s pretty.
And finally, again, he whines “no makeup,” but we really do see it. Anybody can. We talk about it all the time. We just have always assumed Pete has incredibly bad skin — you can kind of see how rough it is under the layers upon layers of makeup he always has caked on, even when he’s just going to the White House for the annual Grab-’Em-By-The-Bunny-Ears Easter key party, and not even for a TV appearance.
Considering the breadth of reporting about the extent of Hegseth’s alcohol abuse over the years, “bad skin” kind of would come with the territory, no?
Yeah.
[CBS News]
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Lifts and heels, make up, girdles, these boys are more high maintenance than a drag queen.
Diapers too also.
Queer Eye for the Hate Guy