Time for a quick update on everybody in the Trump regime quitting so they can hide from the results of the midterms, in which the American people clearly said with one voice that they want to bury them all underneath Guantánamo entrapped with live pronouns and recordings of Arabic lessons being played on a loop until the end of their natural lives.
Because they’re all quitting! Either because they are trying to evade accountability, which they know is coming for them with a vengeance, or because they feel the need to resign so they can run for president in two years while pretending they weren’t part of building Donald Trump’s Gold-Plated Shit Mountain. Good luck with that!
Of course, those who think they are going to be president will also eventually be imprisoned when the time for Nuremberg America: Yee Haw Motherfuckers! gets here, because they’re all guilty of war crimes and/or crimes against humanity.
Let’s start with Harmeet Dhillon, because in a Justice Department full of MAGA incompetents and asslickers, Harmeet really brought shame and dishonor upon her family. She’s also the only person in this post who’s actually already announced her resignation.
It’s hard to overestimate the damage this infected anal fissure wrought upon the Civil Rights Division of the Justice Department, how she, a brown woman, reconfigured it to go after imaginary crimes against white men, go after universities for ideological thought-crimes, how she pushed out fully 75 percent of the division’s career workforce.
She’s a loser’s loser. You think US Attorney Judge Boxwine Pirro loses in court? Watch Harmeet Dhillon lose in court! She was the architect of the Trump regime’s loser attempts to confiscate all the states’ voter rolls, a strategy that had a zero percent success rate. Just unbelievable what a fucking loser she is. Twenty-seven losses. Zero wins.
Her grubby fingers were in the Texas redistricting fights, which just blew up all over the fascists’ dicks, and in the attempts to manufacture evidence of election-stealing in Fulton County, Georgia, in 2020. She sent the goons to try to “monitor” polling places, we mean intimidate non-white voters.
Kristen Clarke, head of the Civil Rights Division in Joe Biden’s DOJ, weighs in:
“From day one, Harmeet Dhillon abdicated her responsibility to enforce our nation’s federal civil rights laws and destroyed the crown jewel of the Justice Department,” Clarke said. “Instead of protecting the civil rights of all Americans, she abandoned cases, purged the work force and weaponized the Division to target institutions to achieve illegitimate, partisan goals.”
You’ll want to read Democracy Docket’s full brutal takedown, because there’s so much more. If we were her family, we would change our last name.
The New York Times reports that Dhillon actually resigned three weeks ago, but White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles asked her not to announce it until now. It also suggests that Dhillon had run afoul of the white supremacist Trump administration recently when she went on 60 Minutes and didn’t completely sign onto their racist conspiracy theories about undocumented immigrants voting.
Guess there are limits to the self-abasement Harmeet Kaur Dhillon, a naturalized immigrant from India, is willing to endure. May the rest of her life as an ingrown toenail be humiliating.
By the way, that same NYT article says Henry Whitaker, who was the acting head Office of Legal Counsel at DOJ, is about to resign too.
Also there’s this:
Don’t go far, criminals! Remember, you’re all going to prison eventually.
Little Marco!
Oh shit, is Marco Rubio quitting to spend more time running for military dictator of Cuba? Or president of the United States? Not necessarily in that order? LMAO.
Indeed, the Independent says that approximately five Trump Cabinet officials are eying the exits. As for Little Marco, one of their sources says he’d have to quit if he wants to run for president, so he can “distance himself from the Iran war and pin that one on Trump”.
Ha ha ha. It’s funny, because the US will still be losing that war in 2028.
They’ve got a “Rubio ally” blabbing at them:
“It makes complete sense for him to step down and leave the administration.
“Rubio is the leading candidate at the moment to be the [Republican] nominee. He’s definitely ahead of Vance.
“But he cannot run while he is still secretary of state, and being tied to the administration will only harm his prospects anyway.”
Rubio and the Trump regime are of course denying all this, but that’s OK, they’re liars.
JD Vance!
Wait, JD Vance isn’t quitting, is he? No, of course not, but he did come out blaming Trump’s stupid war for the midterms bloodbath, so let’s just mark him down as “wants to fuck the couches in the Oval Office without anybody else watching and trying to figure out a path to get there.”
Moving on.
Pete Hegseth!
Well, we shit all over Pete Hegseth yesterday, his trials, tribulations, upcoming impeachment, and his pathetic desire to sucker Marsha Blackburn into handing him a US Senate seat in Tennessee to save him from all these investigations.
Well, about that.
It was reported last night that actually Tennessee Governor-Elect Marsha Blackburn is not that stupid — weird sentence to type, we know! — and is not considering giving Pete an offramp by appointing him as the next United States senator from Tennessee. While this might surprise people who understand that Marsha is indeed very stupid, it shouldn’t, because remember how it is always annoying us how collegial the Senate is? Pete is despised by Senate Republicans, in large part because so many of them voted for him and he proceeded to humiliate them by being a giant pussy who can’t fight any war but a culture war. You think they haven’t been working the phones all week to Governor-Elect Blackburn making sure she isn’t even thinking about sticking that loser with them? Bet.
It’s well-known that Secretary Shtifaced wants to be president, because he thinks rolling into Fox & Friends Weekend still drunk and then running the entire United States military into the ground is an adequate c.v. for that job. (Who-ever told that man he could do all things through Christ who strengthens him should be bullied so hard they never utter a word again.)
But there’s also an additional headline on the speculation about whether Trump is going to shitcan him from the Pentagon before the new Congress gets here and Trump can’t get anybody confirmed.
Hahahahaha.
Below, check out the hilariously clownass video Shitfaced posted trying to butter his own ass and tout his “accomplishments” fighting culture wars at the Pentagon. It is a bunch of him strutting around and saying WARFIGHTER! and reassuring himself that he still has a penis and explaining that the real reason Democrats hate him is because he banned pronouns in foxholes. He does not address how he manages to find a new way to lose the Iran war every single day.
OK, Pete. Whatever you need to do between now and prison.
[Democracy Docket / Independent]
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It was always so hard for me in high school to read about the Germans who willingly did such horrible things... I mean, it defied imagination that anyone could be so cruel.
Now, to see it in real time a century later, I am again amazed, and aghast.
(Insert "bye bitches" gif here)