Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Would Never Legalize Weed By Accident
Only on purpose!
Hello and welcome to the weekend!
This Saturday I gift you with a classic 2012 William "The Third Eagle of The Apocalypse" Tapley joint about how "Gangnam Style" and Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" are about the coming apocalypse and being super excited for the antichrist to arrive and what have you. Get it? Because "I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe" is just very obviously the first thing anyone would want to say to Satan. It just makes sense.
The Antichrist Arrives Gangnam Style! www.youtube.com
And here are your top ten stories of the week!
10. Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Shark Bait Cooler!
9. Minnesota Accidentally Legalizes Weed, Forgets To Tax It, Can't Find Car
8. Ben Smith Lets Tucker Play With Himself On Camera, It Goes Great
7. Raise Your Hand If Your Friend Of 30 Years Cut An Ad Calling You A Piece Of Sh*t Today
6. Rudy Giuliani, Lindsey Graham, And John Eastman Got Subpoenas For Their 4th Of July Present!
4. Vanity Fair Declares Most Oppressive Look Of The Last Century Totally Feminist
3. Happy Independence Day: Fetterman Drags Dr. Oz For Living In King George's Old Digs (In New Jersey)
2. Republicans Still Pretty Sure All Those January 6 People Were Secret Liberals
1. Hi Have You Put GOOD Into The World Today, And By Good We Mean Money And By World We Mean Wonkette!
Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link.
You can even send us paper checks to
Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238
OR use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you don't have Paypal, or your money will not go through!
Three FORMER employees? THREE???? Are suing for an "affront? Seriously, how frivolous can a lawsuit get?? I'll leave now before I wear out my 1/! key. FFS!!!
I'd prefer Retsina but I can't find it the stores anymore. Apparently there are laws against selling turpentine as a tasty wine.