‘You Look Good Enough To Eat!’ Says Joe Biden To Baby Before DOING THAT LITERALLY
Gateway Pundit did a serious investigation of Joe Biden, Literal Baby Eater.
Now look, maybe Donald Trump is a wannabe fascist who wants to end American democracy, rescind the Constitution — but only when it’s inconvenient! — and send the military to take out his enemies, who are of course America’s enemies.
But the crack journalism cosplayers at rightwing disinformation factory The Gateway Pundit have now run multiple stories about the latest real threat to the Republic: At last night’s White House Halloween party, President Joe Biden tried to amuse several cute li’l babies in a photo-op line by pretending to bite them, O The Horror! Prepare to be stunned by the breathless headlines!
WTH?! Joe Biden Bites Baby Dressed as a Chicken at White House Halloween Celebration (VIDEO)
SECOND VICTIM: Biden Puts Baby’s Entire Foot IN HIS MOUTH After Biting Another Baby at Halloween Celebration (VIDEO)
WHOA! Joe Biden Goes on Baby Biting Spree at White House Halloween Party – Bites at Least THREE BABIES in One Night
Two different Gateway Dipshits wrote those three stories.
We can only assume that everyone at the Gateway Pundit is going around today pretending to talk like Julia Louis-Dreyfus pretending to talk like Meryl Streep pretending to talk like an Australian saying “Maybe a Biden ate your bay-bee,” like in that 1988 movie A Lie In The Dark.
Hilariously, the first story, about Joe Biden devouring a baby dressed as a chicken or at least going “zrrbbttttt!” on its leg, was 80 percent copy-pasted text of the White House announcement of the Halloween event, whose theme was “Hallo-READ!” and featured an appropriately tame “spooky story time” read-along. Kids were given books AND candy by Joe and Jill Biden, to make sure nobody mistook the White House for that one shitty house on the block that only gives out Chick Tracts, not candy. Then, eventually, the turn to REAL horror, stated twice in case any of it got lost in the site’s endless ads:
Joe Biden got so excited when he saw a baby in a chicken costume that he bit its leg.
Biden just couldn’t help himself as a mother approached him with her baby. He bent down and bit the baby’s leg.
Imagine the headlines if Trump did this.
Nah, not gonna bother with the video, which hilariously dubbed in an accordion cover of the Jaws theme that was barely audible, ha ha. The other stories mostly regurgitated the first, but also said the babies were being “assaulted” by Biden and referred to the babies as “victims,” though they and their moms seemed perfectly happy to be there. On Twitter, one weirdo decided one of the moms must be trans, because REAL women don’t have eyebrows and noses, we guess.
Just to be sure readers had plenty of seasonal horror to pretend to be aghast over, the site also advised us that OMG “Jill Biden Shows Up to White House Halloween Celebration Dressed as a Giant Panda (VIDEO)” and, in a wrap-up “story” this morning, Gateway Pundit founder and Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft casually suggested that Joe Biden is a pedophile, because that is the Online Right’s third favorite obsession.
Hoft sputtered that “Joe Biden failed to grope and paw a pretty little girl in line for candy” and added,
After years and years of groping women and children that was totally ignored by the fake news media, Groper Joe has lost his mojo.
But don’t be too concerned, he made up for it by sucking the feet of several babies.
This is our president. And this sick behavior was COMPLETELY ignored these past four years and for decades before that.
No, the little girl in the video didn’t flee, she just walked through the line at the same pace as other kids, taking a little book and candy and moving on. SO CREEPY.
But hey, pause the video at the right moments and you can make it SEEM like Biden said something lewd to the kid, she ran away in disgust, and Biden cursed his unsuccessful attempt to abduct a little girl on camera. Because these fucking people aren’t projecting or anything.
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Biden simply doesn't understand that the proper way to interact with a baby is to hold it out at arms' length and to tell the maid or wet-nurse, "do something with this."
Got to go, but have to give our youngest a shout out.
Vance says Trump is going to win “the normal gay guy vote.
George Santos? Joe Exotic?
We had lunch earlier with our youngest and his husband, both MDs. Old story around here, but he laughed and said, "Who the hell does he mean ___ all the closeted Republicans like J. D. Vance who are married to women?"
Huzzah. Love my baby boy. (He hates it when I call him 'my baby boy.')
We raised that boy right.