Your Regularly Scheduled Sunday Show Rundown

We watch so you never have to!

Now that we have discussed the unhinged Trump war declaration (on America, not Iran … yet), let’s see what the terrible gifts the Sunday shows had for fathers this year.

Chickenhawks Are Ready For War Again!

While the United States hasn’t officially declared war on Iran, that hasn’t stopped the perpetual warmonger senators from trying to cheer for and justify one.

On CBS’s “Face The Nation,” Arkansas Senator and genocidal freak Tom Cotton hinted to host Margaret Brennan that US troops being sent to another foreign war is not off the table despite Trump's hesitancy (so far) after Israel attacked Iran last Thursday.

COTTON: He's been very clear that all options remain on the table to defend our own people, to support Israel…

BRENNAN: He hasn't said that.

COTTON: […] He said that Iran can make a deal and live happily without death, or there will be bombing. So, I think he's appropriately kept all options on the table. […]

BRENNAN: But he's emphasizing again and again, this isn't us. This isn't America. This isn't an American operation.

COTTON: So, so far […] we have not been involved in offensive strikes. We've been involved in other ways, through our provision of Israel with weapons over the years or our defense of Israel and its citizens and our citizens in Israel.

Cotton’s lust for another war in the Middle East made him forget to not conflate the actions of a state with America. It’s always been a fig leaf as we arm the only nuclear power in the region and ignore a genocide in Gaza. But maybe those “Death to America” chants that Republicans like Cotton whine about have less to do with our “freedoms” and more to do with our obvious involvement.

Cotton continued insisting that the goal in all this was Iran’s nuclear disarmament, but consider us skeptical when we remember Cotton being a signatory to a letter preventing a deal to do so and cheering when the Iran nuclear deal was scrapped by Trump in his first tenure.

He could barely hide his glee then, so take his sincerity with a pound of salt.

Brennan was also confused about the timeline of the events leading to Israel’s strike on Iran, and Cotton didn’t make it better.

COTTON: As President Trump said on Friday morning, that he had given Iran 60 days to make a deal. That was day 61.

BRENNAN: And he scheduled talks on day 63. You know that. I mean, this was a — this wasn't really a hard deadline.

COTTON: He gave them 60 days. On day 61, the strikes began.

BRENNAN: Day 63, Steve Witkoff wanted to meet with them.

Which is it, Cotton? Either Trump was negotiating in bad faith, knowing this strike would happen despite scheduling talks, or Trump didn’t know and Netanyahu’s regime is doing as it pleases with our tacit endorsement. Both are bad, Tommy.

South Carolina Senator and political remora Lindsey Graham also appeared on “Face The Nation,” channeling the ghost of his late pal/unrequited love John McCain.

GRAHAM: If diplomacy is not successful, and we are left with the option of force, I would urge President Trump to go all in to make sure that, when this operation is over, there's nothing left standing in Iran regarding their nuclear program.

Images of McCain karaokeing “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran” are what lull Lindsey to sleep.

On the Mos Eisley cantina of Sunday shows, Fox News’ “Sunday Morning Futures,” Texas Senator and sentient blob fish Ted Cruz was even more direct.

CRUZ: I think it is very much in the interests of America to see regime change.

We think it’s in the interest of America for Ted Cruz to go fuck himself. America should not get involved in another OIF (Operation Iraqi Freedom, but replacing Iraq with Iran this time) to satiate Cruz’s dormant Zodiac Killer bloodlust.

Alex Padilla

California’s senior senator came to CNN’s “State Of The Union” to call out the obvious bullshit after being assaulted by federal agents while doing his job.

After host Dana Bash brought up DHS spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin’s post about the incident, Padilla called out her, DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, and her department’s lies.

PADILLA: I was escorted into that room by a National Guardsman and an FBI agent. Look, the whole Los Angeles press court — this is Los Angeles. This is my hometown. They know who I was. And what does it say about the secretary to not know who the senator from California is, the ranking member of the Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration? […] How does a Cabinet secretary not know the senator from California when she steps foot into Los Angeles? She came through the Senate for confirmation at one point.

Kristi Noem was dumb enough to print a story about puppy killing, but not knowing who the senator is stretches credulity.

Padilla also appeared on “Face The Nation,” but the issue there was Brennan being wildly inaccurate about the support for deportations.

BRENNAN: Because the public approval is so high of deportation.

Brennan was citing a CBS/YouGov poll with a 54 percent approval for Trump’s deportations, but Padilla’s answer brings up the other part of the poll which Brennan conveniently left out.

PADILLA: Well — but details matter. It depends. You know, it depends on how you ask the question. If you ask the same people, you know, do they think we should maintain due process in the United States of America, the answer is overwhelming, yes.

Also, they’re both wrong, though Brennan is wronger than Padilla. Even before the weekend, Trump’s poll numbers on deportations were falling off a cliff. The only topic he’s still right-side-up on is “border security.” People don’t like it when you deport Carol.

Worst Person You Know Made A Good Point.Gif

We end on Kentucky Senator Rand Paul giving his post-Trump parade thoughts.

PAUL: I've never liked the idea of the parade. I grew up in the '70s and '80s, and the only parades I can remember are Soviet parades for the most part or North Korean parades. The parades I remember from our history were different. [...] We never glorified weapons so so much. […] Then there is the cost.

Broken clock and all that.

Have a week.

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