Aaron Sorkin Sets Land Speed Record For Recanting 'Democrats Should Nominate Mitt Romney'

Swirling some magic mushrooms in that Erewhon smoothie?

The world is full of rich guys with stupid ideas! Like invading Iraq, waging land war in Asia, or driving to Canada with a diarrheal Irish setter strapped to the roof of a car.

And then there’s this doozy, a submission to the New York Times’s opinion pages from “West Wing” and A Few Good Men screenwriter Aaron Sorkin, which will go down in history as apogee of all the ridiculousness we’ve had to endure during the three-and-a-half week BIDEN OLD freakout, published hours before Biden dropped his re-election bid.

Sorkin’s got a “pitch to the writer’s room” for the reality show known to the rest of us as reality: If he had his druthers, Sorkin would “script this moment for Biden and the Democrats” to have them nominate … drum roll … Mitt Romney!

The Democratic Party should pick a Republican.

At their convention next month, the Democrats should nominate Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney! Ronna Romney McDaniel’s uncle! Mister Binders Full of Women! The guy who’s so relatable to the working classes that he has an elevator for his cars in his garage!

Sorkin once wrote a teevee show about a guy who was president, and the president was played by Martin Sheen. He also has reportedly visited the ladygardens of both Paulina Porizkova and Maureen Dowd, all while addicted to crack and marinating in weed and mushrooms for more than a decade. Yet he still managed to make $90 million. So the NYT figures that is the same as being a political scientist!

His pitch:

Does Mr. Romney support abortion rights? No. Does he want to aggressively raise the minimum wage, bolster public education, strengthen unions, expand transgender rights and enact progressive tax reform? Probably not. But is he a cartoon thug who did nothing but watch TV while the mob he assembled beat and used Tasers on police officers? No. The choice is between Donald Trump and not-Trump, and the not-Trump candidate needs only one qualification: to win enough votes from a cross section of Americans to close off the former president’s Electoral College path back to power.

Oh, and Barack Obama, who beat the temple undergarments right off of Romney back in 2012, should endorse Romney, too, Sorkin opines between bong hits:

Barack Obama could come forth at the Democratic convention next month in Chicago and remind us, once again, that we’re not red states and blue states but the United States by full-throatedly endorsing his old rival.

BWAHAHA.

If there’s one thing most Americans are united on, it’s that nobody wants a President Mitt Romney. Not Mitt Romney, who announced last year he’s not seeking re-election to his Senate seat, and seems satisfied to go off and eat hot dogs somewhere.

Voters didn’t want Romney when he was running as the GOP nominee in 2012, and there’s no reason to believe they’d want him 14 years later, even if he’s one of the rare Republicans who hasn’t chugged Trump juice and gone completely stolen-election, space-laser anti-vaxx wackadoo. 

Even Mittens’ niece Ronna “nee Romney” McDaniel has got more respect for Little Lord Hairweave than her own uncle. The ousted chair of the RNC publicly dropped “Romney” from her name just because Trump told her to. And now Ronna’s got no job, because she was never insider enough to be trusted to help Team Trump loot the RNC, and still too much of a known pathological liar to ever be able to work in mainstream media. 

Previously!

Ronna (Romney) McDaniel Fails To Stop The Steal Of Her NBC News Gig

Everyone hates a fence-humper. If Romney wanted to stand on his principles that hard, or wanted votes from Democrats, he could have just quit being a Republican like Joe Manchin or Kyrsten Sinema did as “Democrats.” Next up on the NYT Op-Ed page, Harris should make one of them VP, for unity!

The QAnon wing of the far right hates Romney so much that we even agree with Marjorie Taylor Greene: “Mitt Romney is so bad I couldn't even vote for him for president against Barack Obama.”

Having autonomy over one’s own body is pretty GOTTDAMNED important to the Democrats’ base, in addition to all the other Democrat things on the Democrat platform that are what make Democrats be Democrats.

Does Aaron Sorkin even know any women, besides Demi Moore and the gal who played Rizzo in Grease? Anyone without ample cash to pay for surgeries, private school and college for their kids out of pocket? The lady who cleans his 35 toilets does not count. On some level Sorkin knows it’s a very stupid idea, but like the rich kid from Scarsdale he is, he forges on:

The writing staff would tell me I was about to jump the shark, that this is a ‘West Wing’ fantasy that would never, ever happen,” Sorkin wrote. “But as [West Wing actor] Bradley Whitford used to say, ‘Isn’t the biggest fantasy on television a mafia boss in therapy?’ The Democrats need to break the glass and this is a break-glass plan, but it’s more than that. It’s a grand gesture. A sacrifice. It would put a lump in our throats.

The sheer ignorant privilege and gall of this guy, to be so fucking gleefully dismissive to life-or-death issues for women, trans people, people of color, or anyone else who’s not a literal multimillionaire.

Sounds like an Aaron Sorkin screenplay, all right! Fantasy fiction about white-man saviors ruling a universe where women and people of color exist only to help move along a plot.

Chastised and his dumbassery being mocked far and wide, Sorkin Tweeted through a friend’s account — it was Josh Malina, for those of you who remember the show and don’t act like that’s not you — “I take it all back. Harris for America!” So, that’s nice.

[NYT]