ABC Begging Viewers To Save ‘The View’ From Kim Jong Sh*tler, So That’s Dystopian
Democracy's last hope!
We randomly watched that famous 2007 fight between Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck the other day, the one about the Iraq war that led to Rosie’s exit from The View. Rosie was asked recently on Watch What Happens Live if she’d be willing to guest-host The View while she’s in New York, especially now that the vapid twit pictured above who isn’t Rosie is being afforded that privilege. Rosie noted that she hadn’t been asked.
We noticed upon the rewatch though that in that big 10-minute splitscreen fight, even Hasselbeck said Donald Trump was “obnoxious,” which led him to bitch later to the press that she was “the dumbest person on TV.” Not sure if he knew in those days that dumb has a “B” in it. Just kidding, of course he didn’t, the dementia-addled loser is functionally illiterate, and he just learned about the secret “B” in “dumb” very recently.
All of that is to say that it’s kind of wild that today in the year 2026 — 19 years later, oh my God — ABC is having to run an on-air campaign to try to get viewers to help it fight back against the intimidation and censorship threats from President Donald Trump’s ass-frenching sycophant at the FCC Brendan Carr, who wants to control who The View is and is not allowed to have on its TV program, and let’s be honest, wants to ban the show from the airwaves entirely.
This all started, if you will remember, because Republicans, especially milquetoast picked-lasters like Brendan Carr, are very scared of and intimidated by Texas Democratic Senate nominee James Talarico, who models a way to be a Christian man without even having to rape kids or abuse women. (Very threatening to Republicans!) Talarico appeared on The View in February, and suddenly Brendan Carr’s prissy tailfeathers started flapping this way and that, moaning and caterwauling that The View was violating equal time rules for candidates because it is not a “bona fide” news show, blah blah blah, giant wanking motion dot gif.
ABC, for its part, decided to fight back, among other things arguing in a filing that human wedgie Brendan Carr is violating their First Amendment rights. This is a refreshing change of pace for Big Media during Trump 2.0, most of which has been acting like a common Mar-a-Lago-faced Paramount/CBS owner about things, donning a bib and going down on fascist dick like it’s all you can eat fried fascist dick night at Red Lobster.
And as part of that campaign, ABC is now running this ad telling viewers to submit comments telling Brendan Carr what they think of him and to please save The View.
Some dialogue there:
“The View has hosted your favorite guests and covered the issues you care about for nearly 30 years,” one commercial reads. “Now the FCC wants to control who is allowed to appear on the show. Viewers, use your voice. Scan this QR code. You have until July 6.”
You hear that? You have until July 6 to save The View … AND AMERICA IN GENERAL!
They’re also running this ad in local markets:
You know, it’s funny, because The View is one of those things that MAGA dipshits have been trained like drooling, shitting animals to believe is The Liberals’ favorite thing, just like how in the 1990s they imagined we all worshipped Maureen Dowd. It turns out they’ve actually always been the ones who needed to get out of their bubbles and learn what people in the surrounding world are like, and not vice versa. (We’ve always known exactly what they’re like, because so many of us escaped the shithole existence of being surrounded by them.)
But yet here we are, and an actual key fight in the war against fascism is preserving The Joy Behar And Whoopi And Ana Navarro And Token Republican Yelling Show, which none of us actually watches.
C'est comme ça.
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The Washington Post notes that ABC is also the network that hosts Jimmy Kimmel, the man who hurt Melania Trump’s feelings in April, ha ha fuck you, just kidding, Melania Trump does not have feelings. But anyway, he “hurt” her “feelings” when he said this joke, which we will gleefully reprint for the sake of journalistic completeness:
“Look at that. So beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have the glow of an expectant widow [...] Melania’s birthday is on Sunday. She’s planning to celebrate at home the way she always does: looking out a window and whispering, ‘What have I done.’”
The joke is a light insinuation that Melania might not cry when Donald dies.
Chortle!
Jimmy Kimmel also famously hurt Ch*rl** K*rk’s dead feelings (peace be upon him, in hell) by lightly suggesting that many of the tears over the untimely departure and martyrdom of St. Debate Me were, ahem, some opportunistic fucking bullshit.
And oh boy, ABC just won’t learn its lesson, as Trump explained in this Truth this morning, and now he has to sue them for failing to ACCURATELY REPORT that “Dumocrats” (uh oh, it doesn’t have a “B” in it anymore) Obama and Biden had spent 100 Million Dollars on the Reflecting Pool and none of them could make it as beautiful as he did, you know, before the underwater Antifa sharks started cutting it up with their underwater Antifa shark chompers.
Did any of that happen? Of course not, he’s a fucking lunatic with rapidly advancing dementia.
As always, the only relevant question is oh my God, what did Trump’s bedroom smell like when he typed that out? How many days of skidmarks and nighty night snack wrappers?
That would be a good Hot Topics segment on legitimate news program The View, AKA, democracy’s last hope.
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If that show makes a comeback, can we call it Deja View?
I took a 2 hour flight yesterday and really enjoyed the unplugged out of time and space feeling. When I landed and the pings started with various news alerts all I could think was...one day, hopefully soon, those alerts will be telling me he died and that will be a very good day indeed. And I smiled at the vision, grabbed my Starbucks tea and went on to baggage claim....