Angry And Miserable Megyn Kelly Angry And Miserable People Think Doug Emhoff Is Hot
What will the grumpy has-been Sirius host be angry and miserable about next?
If you aren’t one of the lucky ducks Elon Musk’s algorithm believes must see every utterance belched by failed former [insert media company here] personality Megyn Kelly, consider yourself blessed. For obvious reasons, and perhaps for reasons we don’t comprehend, her life (at least that of it we can see through her tweets) has just turned into this miserable interpretive dance from manufactured rage to manufactured rage, a place where joy of all kinds goes to die.
We don’t just mean she acts like a typical Fox News host, like Kelly used to be before she stopped being somebody. It’s sadder and more disturbing than that. It’s just this vile anger toward literally anything and everything. (Her week of viciously lying about Algerian boxer Imane Khelif was a real beaut.)
Point is, she’s become a thoroughly miserable person, and we feel sorry for the regular people in her life who have to interact with her.
A good example of What She’s Like Now is her reaction to this article that dared to suggest that Kamala Harris’s sexy, sweet husband Doug Emhoff is in fact sexy and/or sweet.
“The media is absolutely disgusting!” groused Kelly on her show, because she was so mad, because it was time for grousing on her Sirius XM show. (The entire format of the show is “grousing.”)
Here is more of Kelly’s grump-a-thon about somebody calling Doug Emhoff sexy.
“You know who Catherine Rampell is?” Kelly said on her show. “That name may ring a bell because she’s the one who wrote the piece ripping Kamala’s economic plan to shreds on the price gouging, saying, ‘This is ridiculous, when they’re accusing you of being a communist, maybe don’t propose communism as your economic plan,’ and she got killed by her readers on the left.”
“So a week later she writes this drivel, trying to rehabilitate herself with the left,” Kelly continued. She added that the article was about a man who “cheated on his first wife with the nanny whom he impregnated.”
“They either aborted the child or he abandoned the child,” Kelly said. “Either way, no bueno.”
OK.
The Daily Beast notes that the last part there is debunked Daily Mail drivel the Right is clinging to like guns and Bibles. Kelly is now lying about it, because that’s just the kind of media personality she is. (Emhoff and his ex-wife were separated at the time, it wasn’t the nanny, she had a miscarriage. None of that is as effective for Kelly’s guttural hate-lying needs, obviously.)
What’s so offensive about the source article? What’s really sticking in Kelly’s ass and making her make that face? Oh who the fuck knows.
Rampell’s article came out last week after the DNC, and it argued that Doug is a “progressive sex symbol.” It noted that he’s a good guy with his own high-powered career, but — get this — he doesn’t even feel threatened by his extremely successful and powerful and beautiful wife! He’s an alpha married to an even bigger alpha who’s about to be the alpha leader of the fucking free world, and he seems cool with all this.
Here’s a sentence from Rampell that probably really chaps a typical MAGA woman’s ass, considering how their remit from God seems to be to stand behind increasingly pathetic MAGA men and tell them they’re not fucking losers:
Emhoff is secure enough with his own masculinity to sometimes prioritize his wife’s ambitions over his own.
Another passage:
He’s a high-achieving alpha but isn’t threatened if his wife is, too. He loves his job, but he loves his wife more. He knows that “supporting” one’s family is about more than financial support, and that temporarily setting aside his own professional ego makes him no less of a man.
In fact, it demonstrates the opposite.
Ooof, you can see why Megyn Kelly was probably just seething at this point.
When your presidential ticket is, like, a universally loathed adjudicated rapist who’s never won anything legitimately in his life, plus some loud-breathing, off-putting creeper who’s obsessed with the reproductive plans of women he’s never met, you’re not exactly standing by impressive men. Having to contend with a guy like Doug must really bring that point home.
Rampell provides another example of a hot guy we’ve seen in the news lately, who exemplifies these characteristics: Jonathan Owens, who plays for the Chicago Bears, and who you might have seen more recently in the stands screaming his fucking lungs out for his kickass wife Simone Biles in Paris.
We’re sure Megyn Kelly has a screed prepared on why that guy is such a fuckin’ pussy too. Maybe she’ll gift her teeming hordes of fans with it. Maybe she already has and we have sadly somehow missed it.
Anyway, here is a video from some DNC party of Doug, probably a bit drunkity, imploring revelers to vote for “Maaaaaah wife!” in Borat voice. Rampell was looking for it on Twitter, probably because she was in the middle of writing the article in question.
We can see why Megyn Kelly is so angry.
Haha, just kidding, what a miserable lunatic piece of shit.
In related news, Kelly also this week suddenly lashed out at CNN’s Kaitlan Collins for being a — and we quote — “cold-hearted bitch” who is “boring with no personality.”
Call that what you will. We’re sure some psychologists might have a word for it.
[Daily Beast / Washington Post / video via Josh Wingrove]
Evan has a new side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
|(The entire format of the show is “grousing.”)|
Dear Wonkette:
My client, the World Grouse Association, requests that you cease using any derivation of the word "grouse" to describe actions of retrograde right-wing media un-stars.
Grouse (the plural is not "grice") are important contributors to the balance of the world's ecosystems, unlike Megyn Kelly, who contributes nothing worthwhile at all.
Furthermore, grouse must tolerate being preyed upon by, among others, human hunters for sport.
We take enough shots as it is; we shouldn't have to take shots like these.
.
Very truly yours,
A. Featherington Beakly
Legal Dept.
World Grouse Association
I was friends with Doug and his first wife back in the day. We went to a bar called Girl Talk that looked unusual. It was a Latino place, and some dudes surrounded our table and asked us to leave. Doug politely agreed and asked if we could finish our drinks. It went from tense to friendly in a second. He's a nice guy with confidence and a winning personality. That's just a fact.