Bedtime For Bongo
Dan Bongino goes ashen-faced, gets sidelined.
We were wondering when Deputy FBI Director/ kook Daniel John Bongino was going to resurface in the news. Now he has, because he’s getting pushed out of his job! Attorney General Pam Bondi and FBI Director Kash Patel have appointed an unprecedented CO-deputy to do the deputy FBI directing “with” him, Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey.
The Trump administration has decided it will never fire anyone, because it does not want to give the media a “scalp.” So instead the regime sidelines internal naysayers and incompetent fuckups until they can get re-education, like Tulsi Gabbard, and/or buttresses them with a minder to do the actual job so they only have to puppet, see Sec Def Pete Hegseth and General Dean “Razin” Caine. And now it’s a Bingo-bango-bongo babysitter!
Bongino’s been on a nearly month-long meltdown, reportedly over his total humiliation in front of all of his slackjawed fans, re: The Epstein Files. Pivoting to RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA files and “Epstein DID kill himself” is apparently not that easy!
And of all the unqualified conspiracy-theorist loons that President Donald J. Trump has appointed, Bongino may be frontrunner for the dumbest. He makes Matthew Meatball McPeenertoilet Whitaker look like a Rhodes scholar. He is but a simple lunkhead, and his talent is grunting angrily into a microphone while veins throb on his temples. Epstein conspiracies were among his favorites as a grifting pundit and podcaster, along with ranting that libs were PUSSIES and he was OWNING them, and the usual InfoWars conspiracy theories about PLANDEMIC HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOP RUSSIA HOAX and CORRUPT FBI.
But there’s no unskilled labor. Yammering in a soundproofed closet about LIBRUL PUSSIES is one thing, but being able to promote multiple conspiracy theories that contradict each other and are a 180-degree pivot from a theory you were just brashly proclaiming as true facts two minutes ago, while people try to ask you questions, well, could you do it?
Not everybody can be like JD Vance and maintain on national television with a straight face, or at least with a smirk, that the Epstein Files simultaneously don’t exist, and were also a hoax planted by Joe Biden, who also refused to release them, and also Bill Clinton is in them 28 times. With full confidence that idiot MAGA will lap it right up!
I didn’t eat the cookies from the cookie jar, there were no cookies, and if they were, my little sister planted them there to frame me, and she ate 28 of them! Punish herrr MOMMM! I do so have proof. I’ll show it to you tomorrow!
And Bongos is not used to taking questions, not even softball ones from Maria Bartiromo. Look at him blinking his eyes and shaking his head “no” while he says “he killed himself,” like a hostage! Even MAGA thinks so.
The conspiracy goes up even higher than they thought!
And the heat on Bingo from MAGA was just getting hotter, because Trump, Patel, and Bondi had been tossing around who had the files like hot potato. Are they on Bondi’s desk? Are they in some binders Chaya Raichik is waving around? Because no fault can ever be found with Dear Leader!
And, or, could it be that some of Bingbongbo’s distress is because he is so dumb that he sincerely believed all of that Democrat Deep State horseshit he’d been slinging, and was genuinely shocked to find out that it was not true?
Whatever the case, it was starting to look to MAGA like Bondi, Bongino, and Patel were the ones doing the cover-up. And in July Bongino and Bondi had an angry confrontation about it, where he reportedly threatened to quit and was threatening to “torch” Pam Bondi for destroying his career. Wonder who leaked that?
Then he came back to work after a few days, and posted a cryptic message.
Shocked to the core about what, HMM?
Possibly shocked to find out Pam Bondi had been working a thousand FBI agents in a Queen Evillene sweatshop, poring over Epstein files to see if Donald Trump was in them? And/or that he was, A LOT, so much that they had to make a spreadsheet of the mentions and were not even finished after months and however many thousands of person-hours of trying, probably while smoke poured out of their laptops? Who can say!
PREVIOUSLY!
But whatever exactly went down between Bondi and Bingo, it was a bad enough scene that afterwards he was left out of Epstein-coverup meetings, like that little get-together JD Vance both did and did not host before he jetted off to the Cotswolds.
So, looks like Bongino won’t be exposing Pam Bondi for wrecking his career after all. Or that corrupt FBI he spent years being so mad about and works for now. Not yet! He’ll cash his paycheck, lay low, maybe get to see his wife again, and do some re-posting on the social medias. Not a bad deal. Another soul-sucked man, defeated by Trump!
[CNN / Daily Beast ]
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Bongo just pawn in game of life
Bingo Bongo was one of the weirdest hires. Everyone but everyone knew that 'roid monkey would fuck up, surely? I guess the orange shithorn in the oval liked him or something.
OT Vance and Hicseth were at Washington Union Station for ... no reason. The good thing is that they got really roundly booed by everyone and J Divan starts walking towards a shake shack and some guy is yelling "HEY COUCHFUCKER! COUCHFUCKER! YOU GOING TO FUCK A COUCH?" at him so he gave up on that.