Bill Cassidy Cursed Us All With RFK Jr. And Still Lost His Primary

Thanks, Bill!

May 18, 2026

This weekend, Louisiana GOP Sen. Bill Cassidy came in third in his own primary, making him the first sitting Republican senator to lose renomination in nearly a decade. The loss was likely due to the fact that Donald Trump campaigned against Cassidy in retaliation for Cassidy having been one of the few Republicans to vote to impeach him for inciting the January 6 riots. Apparently, despite his rapidly declining popularity (polling at a 37 percent approval rating), Trump still has enough clout to pull this off.

Cassidy used his concession speech to make a few sly jabs at Trump for spending his time “attacking people on the internet,” noting that this is not something “people of character and integrity” tend to do, sort of like not accepting election losses gracefully.

“You don’t pout, you don’t whine, you don’t claim that the election was stolen … you don’t manufacture some excuse,” Cassidy said. “You thank the voters for the privilege of representing the state or the country for as long as you’ve had that privilege. And that’s what I’m doing right now.”

This would all hit a little bit different, of course, if Cassidy were not leaving us with the consequence of his attempt to worm his way back into Trump’s heart: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

It’s easy to blame RFK Jr. for the destruction that RFK Jr. hath wrought — for the measles outbreaks, for the raw milk e. coli outbreaks, for the power given to internet “wellness influencers,” for the mental image of him doing a cold plunge in jeans that is now forever imprinted on the insides of our eyelids. And we should. Because those things are his fault.

But Bill Cassidy? Bill Cassidy is more at fault, because he actually knows better. RFK Jr. is an idiot with a brainworm, whereas Bill Cassidy is a doctor. A real doctor who worked in a charity hospital for the uninsured in Louisiana and, to his own testimony, has seen what happens when children don’t get vaccinated. He knew better, and yet he still provided the deciding vote to confirm Kennedy, almost definitely because he saw it as a way back into Trump’s good graces. Clearly, that didn’t happen.

And while he swore up and down that he had given Kennedy a real good talking-to and got all of the assurances that he would not screw with vaccines or change the CDC’s page stating that vaccines do not cause autism, that did not happen either.

He fucked us all to save his own skin, and ended up bloody and skinless anyway. He claimed it would be okay because of said “assurances” and because of his promise to monitor everything Kennedy did. This was the gist of the speech he gave to announce his support:

“If Mr. Kennedy is confirmed, I will use my authority as Chairman of the Senate Committee with oversight of HHS to rebuff any attempts to remove the public’s access to life-saving vaccines without ironclad, causational scientific evidence that can be defended before the mainstream scientific community and before Congress. I will carefully watch for any effort to wrongfully sow public fear about vaccines between confusing references of coincidence and anecdote.
“But my support is built on assurances that this will not have to be a concern and that he and I can work together to build an agenda to make America healthy again.
“We need a leader at HHS who will guide President Trump’s agenda to Make America Healthy Again. Based on Mr. Kennedy’s assurances on vaccines and his platform to positively influence Americans’ health, it is my consideration that he will get this done.”

Yeah, no. He didn’t believe that for a second.

It’s clear, more than clear, in this speech that he was well aware that not only was Kennedy a danger, but that his supporters didn’t even know what his job was meant to entail.

“I heard from others impassioned about the need to address chemicals in our food, and a belief that we are victims of large, impersonal forces maximizing profits while sacrificing our health. There is evidence for that. Although food safety is principally a USDA concern, I strongly agree that this is an issue society must address.
“Other RFK supporters are concerned regarding environmental risk. They fear these risks are being ignored by authorities. Mr. Kennedy’s history of environmental activism motivates their support. I pointed out that the Environmental Protection Agency monitors this, not the Department of Health and Human Services but they still feel that he can make a difference.
“So, as I looked how to resolve this, I returned to where I began. Would it be possible to have Mr. Kennedy collaborate in helping public health agencies re-earn the trust of the American people?”

Does it matter if they have the trust of those people if the only way to earn it is by doling out terrible advice? Like, sure, those folks might “trust” health agencies more if they told them that ivermectin can cure everything that ails them, that the commies are using fluoride to poison their precious bodily fluids, and that they only need the hepatitis vaccine if their newborn baby is a slut and/or heroin addict. But what is the actual good of a health agency that does that? It’s like a diet guru who recommends people live off of confetti cake; some might really enjoy that, but it’s not going to keep them healthy.

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Cassidy, of course, will remain in office until the next election, so hopefully he will use this time to try and reverse some of the damage he’s done. Not that there’s much he can do at this point.

Ideally, by that time, the Democrats will have won a majority in the Senate and Bernie Sanders will lead the HELP committee once again, ensuring that at least the person in charge will be willing to hold Kennedy’s feet to the fire (even if it means his beloved jeans will be set aflame).

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