Donald Trump’s Brain Is Pudding
Seems important to talk about.
Yesterday, at a press conference in Florida celebrating the opening of Donald Trump’s first domestic concentration camp for innocent people his Gestapo have stolen off the street — and to celebrate the attendant merch! — Trump said these words:
“I’m gonna spend a lot. This is my home state. I love it. I love your government. I love all the people around … these are all friends of mine. I know them very well, and I’m not surprised that they do so well. Ron [DeSantis] has been a friend of mine for a long time. I feel very comfortable in this state. I’ll spend a lot of time here. You know for four years I’ve got to be in Washington, and I’m OK with it because I love the White House. I even fixed up the little Oval Office. It’s like a diamond. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful. It wasn’t maintained properly, I will tell you that, but even when it wasn’t it was still the Oval Office so it meant a lot.
“But I’ll spend as much time as I can here. You know my vacation is generally here because it’s convenient. I live in Palm Beach. It’s my home, and I have a very nice little place. A nice little cottage to stay at, right. But we have a lot of fun and I’m a big contributor to Florida. We pay a lot of tax. A lot of people move from New York, and I don’t know what New York is gonna do. A lot of people move from Florida to New York for a lot of reasons, but one of them was taxes. Taxes are so high you can’t believe it. I don’t know what New York is gonna do about because some of the biggest, wealthiest people, and some of the people that pay the most taxes of anyone in the world for that matter, they are moving to Florida and other places. So, we are going to have to help some of these states out I think but thank you very much. I’ll be here as much as I can.”
“Very nice question!” he added to the Fox News reporter, who would presumably be taken out back and shot if she didn’t ask a very nice question.
Trouble was, the question wasn’t about how much time he was going to spend in Florida, and it wasn’t about whether Ron DeSantis was his friend, and it wasn’t about whether the Oval Office needed renovation, or whether he has a nice little cottage to sleep in when he’s in Florida, or whether he pays lots of taxes in Florida (it has no income tax) or whether people are leaving New York because of taxes.
The question — and it was very clear, and repeated, and clarified — was how long does Trump anticipate his kidnapping victims will be held in the new concentration camp. Days? Weeks? Months? And in response, Trump babbled for minutes about how much he loves Florida and he’s going to stay there a lot because he loves it. You can almost imagine a nurse standing next to him, waiting to feed him a bite of puréed Big Mac, and the other nurse, who’s waiting to swoop in really fast in case it sounds or smells like the president isn’t going to make it to the toilet.
Yes, that was the president of the United States yesterday.
PennLive quotes Trump’s niece Mary L. Trump, who reminded us the other day on the Dean Obeidallah show of how old Trump is, and when his father’s Alzheimer’s burst into the frame:
“I mean, you can just see it too,” Mary Trump said. “He looks terrible. I don’t mean that as an attack, it’s just an observation. He looks exhausted. He looks puffy. He looks disheveled a lot, and I’m not a neurologist or a neuro psychologist so I can’t speak to the specific characteristics that may or may not match up with a diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s.
“However, Donald Trump’s father had a very severe case of Alzheimer’s and it was, I think the symptoms started becoming obvious when he was in his late 70s,” she continued. “Guess how old Donald is now? He’s 79 years old, and you know it didn’t take long before my grandfather as typically happens during the course of the illness, it starts slow and then it ramps up pretty quickly. So, after five to 10 years there was a very steep decline, and he stopped remembering people who he had known forever. That kind of thing, and with Donald I see, again this has been unfolding for a while, an increasing lack of impulse control.”
Donald Trump’s brain has always been a sort of pudding — as Fran Lebowitz famously said, “You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don't.” — but it does seem like the president is getting worse.
Seems kind of important while he’s in the middle of opening up his first of likely many cheap and tawdry approximations of Hitler’s concentration camps, so he, Stephen Miller and the rest of the depraved Nazis in his administration can get more fully committed to the task of deporting/enslaving/exterminating whichever parts of the population offend them the most, and while his vice president JD Vance admits on Twitter that the only thing REALLY important in Congress’s Big Evil Murder/Suicide Pact With America is the massive increase in funding for that Nazi ICE Crusade. (Vance tweet is the second screenshot, and says, “Everything else—the CBO score, the proper baseline, the minutiae of the Medicaid policy—is immaterial compared to the ICE money and immigration enforcement provisions.”)
Yes, it seems kind of pertinent right now.
As it happens, Trump’s big beautiful brain has been on full display the past couple days. At his concentration camp, he also became fixated on the word “groceries” again. Every time he thinks of groceries, it derails him, and he becomes fascinated with the sound of the word. “You know we lowered the cost of groceries,” said Trump. (They did not.) “A simple word like that. It was like almost a strange word. I hadn’t heard the word in so long, but what can be more beautiful than the word grocery?”
Almost like a strange word. He hadn’t heard it in so long. What indeed can be more beautiful than the singular form of the word? One grocery. One big, beautiful grocery.
As PennLive notes, sometimes his brain goes different directions with it.
In October, it went like this: “The word grocery, it’s a sort of simple word. But it sort of means, like, everything you eat. The stomach is speaking, it always does. And I have more complaints about that — bacon, and things going up double, triple, quadruple.”
It sort of means, like, everything you eat. The stomach is speaking.
Sometimes it goes other directions:
“It’s such an old-fashioned term but a beautiful term: groceries,” he said during his ‘Liberation Day’ speech. “It’s sort of a bag with different things in it.”
In May he again got stuck on groceries while talking with the UAE president.
“We have a term ‘groceries,’” Trump told him. “It’s an old term but it means basically what you’re buying, food, it’s a pretty accurate term but it’s an old-fashioned sound but groceries are down.”
Groceries, groceries, that old-fashioned sound.
During the concentration camp Instagram glamour beauty show-and-tell photo op, ICE Nazi Barbie Kristi Noem was asked whether they are really going to try to prosecute CNN for having the audacity to do a news report on the new cool app that allows people to alert their friends and neighbors if ICE Gestapo are in the area.
Trump was unfortunately unable to allow Noem to answer without interjecting babbling about how CNN might also be prosecuted for “false reports” on his weenie Iran strikes. “TOTALLY OBLITERATED,” he intoned, because those words comfort him, like “groceries.”
Here is Trump yesterday on his social media platform, excited because somebody has told him that they’re really going to open up the real Alcatraz, just like he said after he saw it on TV that night, that they’re really following his orders on that one, and that the prison is going to be surrounded by sharks!
Yes, somebody told him that’s really happening. We imagine it settles him down.
It was reported yesterday that according to a forthcoming book Trump literally thinks brain scans work like IQ tests. (And we know how fixated he gets on dementia tests that allegedly prove his brain isn’t TOTALLY OBLITERATED like a bag of GROCERIES that’s been put in a blender.)
He insisted to the doctors — insisted! — after he was nicked by that bullet that he really needed a brain scan.
After brow-beating the medical team into performing a scan, Trump demanded to see the “film” from the procedure. When the doctor told him that wasn't done anymore and offered him a written report instead, Trump doubled-down.
“I want the film,” he repeated, and dismissed the doctor. As she left to obtain a copy of the scan, an aide asked the president why he was so desperate for the image.
“It's like an IQ test,” Trump responded. “They tell you that your brain is good, so I just want to have that.”
“The film.” Something Trump remembers from the olden timey days, back before his brain ceased functioning. Maybe after they show him the film they could show his mother and father Fred and Mary, and they could all talk about how proud they are of their young smart boy Donald. “They tell you that your brain is good, so I just want to have that.”
“The film.”
There’s an obvious joke to be made here about a certain journalist who ought to spend some time researching and writing a book about Donald Trump’s severe and hastening mental deterioration, but that guy doesn’t deserve to have his name come up in Google search results anymore.
Here’s a clip from Lawrence O’Donnell last night:
[PennLive/ PennLive / Daily Beast]
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<...what can be more beautiful than the word grocery?>
Obituary
What the fuck is wrong with the news media in the USA? They swallowed the "I invented the internet" lie and gave us Bush the Lesser when we could have had Gore; then they went with the imaginary "cognitive decline" story and gave us Trump instead of Harris; but now they say nothing about the madness and idiocy of the Donald.