If Senator John Kennedy Starts Reading To You, Call The Cops.
John Kennedy got a new strap-on harness today. He can't wait to put it on you.
It was John Kennedy Story Hour yesterday on the Senate floor. That’s the Republican senator from Louisiana who pretends to be the stupidest yokel ever to grace that august body since the days when it had open slaveowners in its ranks, but actually he went to Oxford so he’s probably faking.
Yesterday, the Senate Judicary Committee had a hearing about the conservative book-banning/book-burning trend, which is part of the “family values” conservative Christian crusade to eradicate the LGBTQ+ population. As we have discussed before, these people are pig-ignorant enough to believe that if kids are never exposed to anything LGBTQ+, they will never themselves be LGBTQ+. They have swallowed like a dick their big lie that kids only become LGBTQ+ if they are “groomed” into such things.
This is why the Republicans and their associated white fascist hate groups are obsessed with banning the books in the library, on top of how reading has always been a pathway directly away from a life of pant-shitting inbred conservatism.
And of course, there are a couple books they’re absolutely obsessed with, books that have depictions of gay sex type acts. One is called All Boys Aren’t Blue, by George M. Johnson. Another is Gender Queer: A Memoir, by Maia Kobabe. (Those are both Wonkette cut links.) You know, because teenagers couldn’t come up with them on their own (LOL) and wouldn’t know how to find the information elsewhere if it wasn’t in the school library (www dot the entire internet, LMAO go fuck yourself, Republicans).
You know how incurious teenagers are about sex, left to their own devices.
OK, that’s enough set-up, time for the literary reading about buttfucking from John Kennedy Story Hour, which came from those two books we just mentioned.
First, All Boys Aren’t Blue. We’re gonna transcribe but this is a case where if you don’t watch the video, you will miss the entire point of the post. (Videos thanks to Aaron Rupar.)
“I put some lube on and got him on his knees. And I began to slide into him from behind. I pulled out of him and kissed him while he masturbated. He asked me to turn over while he slipped a condom on himself. This was my ass, and I was struggling to imagine someone inside me. He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me. It was the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my life. Eventually, I felt a mix of pleasure with the pain.”
Did you watch the video? YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE VIDEO, YOU NON-RULE-FOLLOWING GOATS! Anyway, watch the video.
Here is the panel after Kennedy put some lube on and got him on his knees.
Amazing. This happened in Congress.
OK, now let’s do Gender Queer.
“I got a new strap-on harness today. I can’t wait to put it on you. It will fit my favorite dildo perfectly! You’re going to look so hot. I can’t wait to have your cock in my mouth. I’m going to give you the blowjob of your life, and then I want you inside of me.”
YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.
John Kennedy cannot groom you if you do not watch the video.
So this has been very hot, obviously, and these clips would be some neat campaign commercials for Democrats.
One gets the sense that in the addled brains of social conservative fascists like John Kennedy, reading these things out loud in Congress, and the fact that we are highlighting this and giggling about it, somehow helps their side. But yet again, this is because they are sex-obsessed and repressed lunatics who are so emotionally and psychologically undeveloped that they can’t handle the idea that yeah, teenagers are into sex. And they’re going to be looking for information. Even the kids of conservative Christians. Even LGBTQ+ kids, many of whom are the kids of conservative Christians.
Grow up, you fucking losers.
It’s certainly better teens get these resources in the school library than from a conservative Christian youth group leader or pastor, that’s for fucking sure.
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Of course, if a teenager actually reads Gender Queer and isn't a fuckheaded Louisiana Republican, they'd also see that the (consensual, adult) dildo play is a huge letdown for Kobabe, who had imagined hot gay sexx but instead asks their partner "can we do something else?"
So you get a little reminder that consent is a thing, and you can change your mind if a sexual situation doesn't feel right. In the larger story, it's a key moment in Kobabe's realization that no, they aren't actually so much trans and gay, as they'd thought going into it, but instead nonbinary, and asexual to boot.
But you'd need to read with the discernment of a fairly smart 17-year-old.
It's also better that kids get their sex education from sources like this (you know, since their sexually repressed Christofascist parents won't talk to them about it) than from porn videos. It's been pretty well documented that exposure to porn from a young age creates unrealistic expectations about the sexual experience, and leads to concerning ideas about consent.