Is Jesse Watters Fighting Democrats Or Mommy?
Or are those the same thing?
Fox News beta predator Jesse Watters is having the weirdest conniptions these days. DEI is a bigger enemy than all the other enemies! (That’s one way to verbalize a white male insecurity complex.) He’s scared Western civilization is going to go away when “Muslims start to rise up.” He’s creaming himself in submissive ecstasy over his Daddy Trump siccing the National Guard on every Democratic city AKA all the places most likely to make fun of his shortcomings. Donald Trump arresting Democrats fills Jesse with incontinent joy.
And yet there’s the matter of Jesse’s mother, a Democrat who went to the No Kings rallies, who used to call in to his show when it was a cuter gimmick for this loser racist pig fascist to have a decent human being as a mother. Maybe she still does. But things seemed to take a turn after the election, as Watters explained that he had been disinvited from Thanksgiving, while trying to laugh it off. She told him it was a “scheduling issue.”
It’s got to suck, knowing your son is one of American Hitler’s biggest cheerleaders, who walks around with his lipstick out for American Goebbels.
It was weird watching Watters lie about the No Kings protests, while admitting that his more intelligent mother participated. He claimed most of the protesters don’t even know what they’re protesting — his mother excluded, of course — and expressed fake pity for them:
“They get these big bursts of energy every once in a while, but long term, this has been bad for their health. They’ve lost the culture, they’ve lost the media, they’ve lost two of the last three elections, they’ve lost all power in Washington, and they’ve lost their minds.”
Sure, pal.
We don’t know if Jesse Watters’s mom has ever written him a note the way Pete Hegseth’s mom has, about how disgusted she is by what kind of man he has turned out to be, and how he treats women, but we couldn’t blame her, since one of the most famous things about Watters is that he admitted on air to trying to entrap his current wife by luring her into his car after letting the air out of her tires. No idea what his mom thinks of that one.
But yeah, she did disinvite him from Thanksgiving.
So, where one of the main things that unites MAGA men is that they have serious Daddy issues, it would certainly seem valid to infer that Jesse Watters has some serious Mommy issues as well. (As many of them also do.)
In that context, let’s read and watch this conniption Jesse had Tuesday night.
Here’s Jesse talking about how “Democrats” want to destroy civilization. Does he mean Democrats like his mom?
“Sometimes when you get hit in the head so hard that you go into a coma, you wake up and people have to reteach you the English language. They have to reintroduce you to your family. That’s how I feel like dealing with Democrats.”
Family, huh? Like your mom?
“There are concepts that have kept civilizations thriving for thousands of years: border walls, different bathrooms, asylums.”
That’s what has kept civilizations going? Separate bathrooms? Imagine what a small, insecure boy you’d have to be to believe that is what was keeping civilization together. Maybe it is easier to let the air out of a woman’s tires if she is in the bathroom.
“And it’s like, we’re trying to teach basic things to Democrats and they’re not going along with it.”
Pause for laughter at the notion that a little white MAGA bitch baby like Jesse Watters has anything of value to teach anyone or contribute to anything on the entire planet, that any space into which he has entered and drawn breath has ever been better for his having been there.
“It makes me feel like they want civilization to collapse.”
Awwwww, it makes him feel like that? Does he feel his mommy wants that?
“And civilizations have collapsed.”
Because of the gender-neutral bathrooms with the common area and the individual lockable stalls and the expensive hand soaps?
“There’s no guarantee that the American civilization is going to continue to thrive and survive. If you have people, a faction of this country, dead set on tearing it down by releasing criminals, by destroying gender, by destroying the English language, you will have Rome.”
Did Jesse’s mom do that to Rome? Destroyed its English language and its gender roles? Let the criminals out of the “asylum”?
“And that’s what you’re facing with these people. And that’s why [name we don’t say anymore] talked about trying to save Western civilization. We’re fighting each other. We’re not really fighting China, we’re kind of fighting Russia. We’re really fighting Americans who want to destroy the country.”
Americans like your mom?
Yikes, what an irretrievably broken, irredeemable loser this guy is.
His whine about “releasing criminals” is just white racist weenus shit, the kind who are so terrified of their own shadows 24/7 that they fearfully fantasize that Democrats are just constantly unleashing criminals for the sole purpose of siccing them on innocent and delicate white Republicans. His bitching about “destroying the English language” is part of the same thing, but with the added insecurity of the stupid white MAGA man who thinks it’s a badge of honor that he can only speak one language, a language that is itself the pube-filled shower drain of all other languages. And the thing about genders is … oh look at that, it’s still white loser MAGA masculine insecurity.
Because for these absolute dead-end humans, any attack on their perceived supremacy as white conservative men is an attack on the country.
This is the only culture white racist MAGA has. Racism, stupidity, resentment, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia. As I wrote at my other joint during the Great Cracker Barrel Logo Cracker Tantrum of 2025, they were so upset about that because they literally had nothing else, besides:
gender reveal fireworks accidents;
shitty commercial country music that’s designed to twangle and jangle their dangly bits, a la Morgan Wallen;
that fucking Lee Greenwood song
never getting out of the town they were born in;
opioids;
cousin marriage?
thinking The Apprentice was a real TV show about a real businessman who’s really rich;
being proud of only speaking one language (and not very well), and feeling threatened, resentful and suspicious any time they hear somebody speaking in another one;
leaving comments in local news comments sections about how they refuse to enter the nearest large city without an arsenal of security blanket guns in their underpants.
That’s it. Oh, and protecting pedophile Republican politicians and conservative Christian leaders. That’s their culture.
That’s what Jesse Watters is presumably so upset the Democrats and the liberals are trying to destroy. We guess his mom is an active participant in the conspiracy.
Watters delivered more tantrum on Tuesday, saying that “the Democratic Party cannot be trusted to be the opposition party anymore. They have to be a permanent minority. […] This party is dangerous.”
Or what? Mommy’s going to mandate gender-neutral bathrooms at Thanksgiving and Jesse’s still not invited?
Just asking.
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Jesse's mom has ... got it goin' on?
Weird how they all forget they have gender neutral bathrooms at home.