Jesse Watters Can Tell Who's 'Illegal' Just By Looking At Them, So He's Replacing Tucker, Right?
Who else is ready on day one to be the misogynistic racist garbage asshole Tucker's audience craves?
Lot of people are wondering who's going to take Tucker Carlson's place permanently. That dumb idiot Lawrence Jones who's subbing this week who's really bad? (LOL he is so bad. ) No, we don't think it is going to be him.
For our money, the only current Fox personality who is smarmy and disgusting and creepy and racist and eagerly displays his masculinity issues with a joie de vivre that even approaches Tucker's is Jesse Watters. Hunnerd percent. There is nobody else, assuming Fox wants to stick with its current business model for 8 p.m.
In that spirit, Jesse Watters said yesterday he can spot "illegals" just by lookin' at 'em. How? He's a city guy, it's hard to explain, he just knows.
JESSE WATTERS: I saw, on the way into work, an illegal immigration family digging through the trash, looking for recyclables.
JESSICA TARLOV: How did you know they were illegal?
WATTERS: You can tell.
TARLOV: Jesse —
WATTERS: I can tell. I'm a city guy. You don't want me to get into it, but I can tell.
He can just tell. It's one of those things when you live in the city and you're a white guy who probably actively notices every person of color he comes in contact with on any given day.
Watch the whole rant. Tell us that if Watters didn't borrow some of Tucker's stable of white supremacist writers they couldn't write him some store-brand Tucker-style monologues and have him fluffed and ready by next week.
Also yesterday, much like Tucker the week before he was fired, Jesse jerked off trying to make Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s clown candidacy a real thing, because white Republicans are all jerkin' it to that right now. "The man's a real threat. Only two weeks into his campaign and he's at 19 percent, taking a huge bite out of Biden's base." LMAO, sure thing, Jess. That was in the middle of some whining that ABC News wasn't giving Kennedy's paste-eating anti-vaxx shit enough airtime, which is also on Tucker's brand.
On Monday, Watters interviewed a dumpy white loser man councilman from Delaware County, Indiana, named Ryan Webb, who thinks he is triggering the libs by "identifying" as a "woman of color." Jesse said it was time to "have a little fun" with this gender identity thingie. (Conservatives are getting better at humor, making the left nervous, etc.)
“Ryan has searched his soul and found out he’s a woman of color,” Watters said. “And since he’s still attracted to females, that means he is also a lesbian.”
Okeydoke. Sounds to us like a totally normal conversation between two regular white guys, the sort who could at any time spontaneously start pissing into Bud Light cans and taking swigs just to stick it to Anheuser-Busch.
We guess they could give Tucker's job to Greg Gutfeld, who whined this week that "wokeism is every bit as racist as white nationalism," but he's getting a little past his sell-by date and quite frankly doesn't have the range or the look. Also just such a try-hard.
Yeah, it's gotta be Jesse. He's at the top of this list of ideas in The Hill, and The Hill never gets stuff wrong. (Their second choice? Brian Kilmeade. Haha fuck off. Their other ideas are Harris Faulkner and Piers Morgan. Also nope.)
Dude literally bragged that he tricked his now-wife into getting into his car with him by letting the air out of her tires.
Tucker's white supremacist misogynist human trash audience is going to love him, congratulations on your new job, Jesse!
[ Media Matters ]
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post!
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .
I'd like to think so. The entirety of my family that immigrated here from Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador work, went to school and got an education, and became a part of the fabric of this society. And by extension, nearly every single family friend and acquaintance that we have did as well.
Ta, Evan. Vey iz mir.