Jesse Watters Warns Men: Voting For Kamala Harris Could Make You A Lady
The science doesn't lie.
Among other things, Tuesday’s edition of Fox News’s panel show “The Five” discussed Monday’s big “White Dudes for Harris” Zoom call, which drew about 190,000 participants and raised about $4 million for the Kamala Harris campaign. The Five were officially Not Happy about it, because for one thing it was just a “safe space” for libs (the chyron said so), and also because it was proof that Democrats support segregation, according to one of the Five, a guy named “Tyrus” who I know nothing about, but he was mad about it all.
Cohost Dana Perino offered a few clips from the call, including Jeff Daniels Bridges (damn it, Dok!) saying that, as The Dude, he is very much for Harris, as well as Bradley Whitford of “The West Wing” who had a fun joke about how inspiring it was to look out on a “rainbow of beige” assembled for the call. That really made Tyrus unhappy; he grumped that it was “so racist,” and just a lot of “polite racism,” because what if, huh?
“It's never the Republicans who ever bring up race. It's never — It's always the same thing. White Dudes for Kamala, awesome. So, now I'll start setting up White Dudes for Tyrus, like it just makes no sense. What if we have Black dudes, Black brothers for Trump? Well, we'd all lose our blackness as soon as we show up for the meeting.”
They do have “Blacks for Trump,” and as opposed to the folks in the shirts during the 2020 rallies, in 2024 some of them are even Black! But Tyrus had another point. What’s next, he fretted, “white guys for, I don’t know, Nazism?”
Then he wheeled out the One Mandatory Joke, because it’s what Democrats are obsessed with, you bet:
“According to them, everything's gender-fluid. And you could literally be in a meeting and realize the whole time you're in the White Dudes for Kamala and you are really be at the Black Women for Kamala meeting next week. This is pathetic. This is what they do.”
And then they’ll call your Diet Mountain Dew racist, probably.
The real highlight of the segment, which we made ourselves watch in its entirety on Fox (video up for a week, cable login required), was Jesse Watters, who has been turned into a sputtering rage fountain by all these very unfair, deadly accurate accusations of being weird. Here’s part of the relevant portion, from Acyn on Twitter; a longer portion of the video, and a transcript, are at MediaMatters.
Watters explained that he had himself signed up for the Zoom call, and “I thought it was going to be great because they've been calling me toxic for quite some time and I thought maybe we were going to get over that and they were going to talk about wages and security.” (They actually did talk about wages, not so much about war stuff, we hear.)
“But no, this was a struggle session for pale, hairy, flabby California artists, and it was basically saying, if you want to be accepted by women, you should vote for a woman.”
Yep, sure, Jesse, only them, uh-huh. Then he got to the red meat part: Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche or Vote For Democrats:
“Now, I don't see why any man would vote Democrat. It's not the party of virtue, security, it's not the party of strength. It's definitely not the party of family. And to be a man and then vote for a woman just because she's a woman is either childish, that person has mommy issues, or they're just trying to be accepted by other women. And I heard the scientists say the other day that when a man votes for a woman, he actually transitions into a woman.”
Gentle reader, I really did watch the rest of the segment to see if he came anywhere close to explaining that thing about voting turning men into women. He did not. Dana Perrino then complained there were too many celebrities on the call.
Jessica Tarlov, the sense-making person on “The Five,” pointed out that “everything Jesse just said is wrong,” and patiently explained that the Zoom call included “tens of thousands” of regular people who wanted to show support for Kamala and the Democratic ticket.
Tarlov noted two running themes in the discussion: 1) quite a few white male voters said they regretted not having done more for Democratic candidates in the past, noting that “Black voters in particular are the ones that always show up, and that white voters let them down.” And 2) lots of the men talked about how the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision affected the women in their lives — many of them said things like “because of this decision, my daughter is less free than my mother was,” or “I’m protecting my wife’s freedom.”
She was promptly ignored by Perrino, who lamented that instead of having all that “segregation” of various groups supporting her, Harris should have had only one call for all people to support her, so sad. Somehow she stopped short of saying “all lives matter,” so there’s that.
We’re still waiting to learn who this scientist was who explains that voting for a woman makes men transition into women, and also does that mean Watters agrees that transitioning is real, finally? The end.
[Fox News (video expires 8/6; cable login required) / Media Matters / Reuters]
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Egregious Jeff-based error corrected; Bridges, not Daniels, Wonkette regrets the error and Dok has fired himself, as is the tradition
Still chuckling at the "damn it, Dok!" ed. note.