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Joe Biden's Brother Repaid A Loan From Him And If That's Not IMPEACH Then These Idiots Don't Know What Is
New House Speaker Mike Johnson getting in on the act.
Oh hey, y’all hear? The completely out-of-his-league gay sex police lunatic House Speaker Mike Johnson is ready on day one to sit around and huff impeachment farts with James Comer, Jim Jordan and the other one, picking right up where they left off before they had to spend three weeks wiping Matt Gaetz’s ass trying to find a new speaker. (Where they left off was hilarious abject failure that even Fox News and Steve Bannon were making fun of.)
Johnson has been all over the place this week showing us all what an airheaded windsock he really is, saying things like, “We do not wield [impeachment] for political purposes, but we are following the truth where it leads.” And then he said in a news conference yesterday, with a straight face:
“What you’re seeing right now is a deliberate constitutional process that was envisioned by the founders, the framers of the Constitution,” Johnson claimed at the news conference. “This is how they envisioned this to go, not the way the Democrats did it: snap impeachments, sham impeachments and all the rest.”
He went on to insist that Comer and his colleagues were doing an “extraordinary job very methodically and I would say outside the scope of politics.”
Y’all, either this motherfucker is the most amoral lying snake in the Republican caucus (likely), or he’s really one of the stupidest white conservative Christian men we’ve ever run across (likely), or both (likely).
If you haven’t heard, that hillbilly Comer has another BOMBSHELL. Bigger than the thing he was jingle-janglin’ his wingle-wangle over last week, the thing he promised was the smoking gun, but then was proven just to be a loan from Joe Biden to his brother James, which was then paid back.
This one is … wait, it’s just a smaller loan from Joe Biden to Jim Biden, which Jim Biden paid back.
(Or did he? The check was signed by Sara Biden, not Jim Biden. Is that Jim Biden’s wife? Is that her real name? Is her real name “Chinese Community Party”? Is the nation of China’s real name “Hunter Biden’s penis”? All these questions will soon be answered.)
The first loan was for $200K. This one is $40K. And Republican congressmen are on the internet pretending to be peasants, acting like it is literally inconceivable that Joe Biden would lend his brother money with that many zeroes in it.
FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS? No one has ever SEEN that much money!
Hit up Philip Bump for a fuller explanation of the dingleberry James Comer is currently playing with, but the toplines are:
This loan is actually not new information.
It was back in 2017 when Joe Biden wasn’t vice president, or president. Hunter Biden’s cock was obviously the president of China at that time, but this is about James and Joe.
Hunter and James Biden were acting like fucking dorks trying to use their last name to get people to take them seriously, which included trying to do business in China, breaking news, read all about it.
James Comer is trying so hard to turn this into “Chinese bribe money,” and if he doesn’t settle down he’s going to sprain his sphincter.
Literally all the evidence points to this just being a loan from Joe Biden to James Biden, his brother, which James Biden repaid.
That’s it. And James Comer is still saying things like this:
“Even if this $40,000 check was a loan repayment from James Biden,” he said, “it still shows how Joe benefited from his family cashing in on his name — with money from China no less.”
That is … still not how money works. What kind of pigfuck thinks that is how money works?
But y’all, look, it’s even more embarrassing than all that.
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The House Judiciary Dems tweeted about how this was yet another wet turd from Comer, whose body is apparently literally made of them. They included Daniel Dale’s examination of the evidence, which proved the thing that looked like a repaid loan from Joe Biden to James Biden was in fact a repaid loan from Joe Biden to James Biden, and not a maniacal $40,000 international plot by the Chinese government to use Hunter Biden’s penis and maybe James Biden’s penis to bribe private citizen 2017 Joe Biden to use his squirrelly senile genius powers to (???) COLLECT UNDERPANTS (???) and then profit.
And in response, the House Judiciary Republicans — the Twitter account of which is widely known to be run by Jim Jordan himself — quote tweeted it, and well, just look of it and die of embarrassment on Jim’s behalf:
The check says it’s a loan repayment of $40,000 from Sara and James Biden to Joe Biden, in September of 2017.
Our lying eyes agree that it’s a loan repayment of $40,000 from Sara and James Biden to Joe Biden, in September of 2017.
So really, regardless of which one we trust …
This is what that idiot Mike Johnson is eagerly rubbing his butthole all over.
Heckuva job, all of them.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.