Josh Hawley Uses Israel Attacks As Excuse To Slurp Putin's Bathwater
What are Republicans doing while Joe Biden is being the fucking president?
There is functionally no United States Congress right now, because Republicans are no longer a real political party, just a bunch of mediocre white conservative dudes much too busy playing with their own excrement to elect a speaker or govern. They haven’t really earned the right to open their mouths to comment on the Biden administration’s response to Hamas’s terrorist attacks on Israel or Israel’s response, but here we are.
Fox News is playing its traditional game, where it writes misleading headlines — White House slammed for hosting BBQ with live band as war rages in Israel — which make low-information readers think the White House is actually being slammed by somebody who matters for hosting a barbecue with a live band. (It was just an event for non-political White House residence staff.) Oh Fox, playing the hip-hop BBQ hits.
Of course, when you click on the article, you simply find Missouri Republican Senator and pissant seditionist Josh Hawley jerking off on Twitter, joined by a couple no-name paid blue check Republican grunts who don’t matter. World’s stupidest senator Tommy Tuberville, who is actively aiding and comforting our enemies with his ongoing attack on the US military, joined in the fun.
Yesterday, the same Republicans all feigned outrage and lied to their voters, who are monumentally stupid, about what it means that Biden called a “lid” early in the day. It simply means not to expect any more public events from the president, a message to journalists that they won’t miss anything if they want to piss off. It very often means back behind the scenes, the White House is harder at work than usual, like maybe because a war has broken out. People in Washington understand this.
But after Fox News’s John Roberts implied that the “lid” meant Biden was calling it a day while the war was raging, here came, oh look, it’s the stupidest one again:
It’s a shameful example of how Fox News lies to people who are too dumb to understand any better, like former SEC coaches.
We learned last night that one of the many things Joe Biden was doing yesterday afternoon was negotiating a truly impressive joint statement of solidarity from the leaders of France, Germany, the United Kingdom, Italy, and the US, “express[ing] our steadfast and united support to the State of Israel, and our unequivocal condemnation of Hamas and its appalling acts of terrorism.”
It continued:
All of us recognize the legitimate aspirations of the Palestinian people, and support equal measures of justice and freedom for Israelis and Palestinians alike.
But make no mistake: Hamas does not represent those aspirations, and it offers nothing for the Palestinian people other than more terror and bloodshed.
Over the coming days, we will remain united and coordinated, together as allies, and as common friends of Israel, to ensure Israel is able to defend itself, and to ultimately set the conditions for a peaceful and integrated Middle East region.
You don’t get a statement like that from five separate nations by going home early or spending the afternoon at a barbecue. You get it by being the fucking American president. Joe Biden did that.
What was Josh Hawley doing during that time?
Oh, just cynically using the terrorist attacks against Israel to slurp on Vladimir Putin’s bathwater:
“Israel is facing existential threat,” he said. “Any funding for Ukraine should be redirected to Israel immediately.”
Fuck. You.
It might be hard to understand why Josh Hawley would be concerned with terrorism and mass murder committed against Israel but be OK with it when Russia is the one doing it. Don’t overthink it. It’s because he’s a piece of shit and a bad person.
But wouldn’t Putin just love that? If he could co-opt Hamas’s attacks against Israel as his own little Reichstag fire to distract the West from Ukraine? He is jizzing stale borscht at the very thought.
Expect to see more Republicans like Hawley giving Putin exactly this reach-around in the coming days. They’re not good for much else.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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In college I was friends with theatre majors who couldn’t possibly attain the levels of drama that these performative outrage assholes achieve on a daily basis.
I know it makes no difference because Hawley's target audience doesn't know or doesn't care, but most of the money going to Ukraine isn't money. It's equipment. Mostly older generation and surplus. Some from usable stockpiles.
It's money in the sense that it's already been bought and paid for at some time in the past and by the magic of government accounting is valued exactly as it was when first paid for no matter how old.
Hawley knows this.