Ken Buck Resignation Is Giant F*ck You To Mike Johnson AND Lauren Boebert

Bless their hearts.

Mar 13, 2024

Yesterday, not long before he took his turn questioning former special counsel Robert Hur, Colorado Republican Rep. Ken Buck announced he was not only not finishing his term — we already knew he wasn’t running again — but he was leaving Congress next Friday.

Man, he hates that place now. We guess calling Marjorie Taylor Greene an idiot to her face just doesn’t spark joy anymore.

“It is the worst year of the nine years and three months that I’ve been in Congress,” said Buck to CNN just after the announcement.

He’s been hating Congress for a while. James Comer’s hillbilly cousinfucker impeachment of Joe Biden has gotten too stupid even for a seasoned right-winger like Buck. He’s sick of the debunked Republican Big Lie about Joe Biden getting that Ukrainian prosecutor fired for allegedly nefarious reasons. He’s sick of Trump’s fascist Big Lie about the 2020 election.

But for Buck to resign now? When weak ass Jesus Freak Speaker Mike Johnson’s House majority is hanging by the tiniest of threads? And now it’s down, effectively — taking into account vacancies — to one?

First of all, Johnson had zero idea it was coming. So that’s a fuck you.

Second of all, to put this in perspective, what if Mike Johnson accidentally looks at a porn, thereby setting off the Covenant Eyes Dad Porn Alarm on his teenage son’s phone, thereby triggering a chain of biblical accountability partner events that result in Mike Johnson’s hands being bound so he can’t touch his doodlewanger, which means he can’t even use his speaker’s gavel anymore, which doesn’t matter anymore because he’s currently being checked in to a Christian porn addiction camp against his will?

What if Matt Gaetz gets arrested?

WHERE’S YOUR HOUSE MAJORITY NOW, MIKE?

(Oh also Buck has hinted that maybe three more resignations are coming? Huh!)

Are/Were Mike Johnson And His Teenage Son Each Other’s No-Pornin' Cops? Because That’s Weird.

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So all of this is hilarious.

As for Lauren Boebert, well! What Buck just did to her is fun. Keep reading past this annoying subscribe box to find out why!

Boebert was already carpetbagging herself into running to replace Buck in Colorado’s Fourth District, having correctly determined it was going to be Too Hard to get re-elected in the Third, which she currently represents.

As the Colorado Sun explains, Colorado Gov. Jared Polis has set the special election for Buck’s seat for June 25, the same day as the Colorado primary. This means voters in the Fourth District will vote both for Buck’s temporary replacement and the person who will be the Republican nominee for the seat in November, on the same day.

If Boebert wanted to be in that special election, she’d have to resign her current seat in Congress. And then there’d have to be a special election for her current district. She has announced she will not be doing that.

So basically voters in this district will have to choose somebody to finish Buck’s term — and those nominees will be whichever Democrat and Republican the vacancy committees choose — and they will also have to choose their November nominee. This in all likelihood means the Republican special election nominee will be on that ballot twice, which could be an advantage!

She mad:

“Forcing an unnecessary special election on the same day as the primary election will confuse voters, result in a lame duck congressman on day one, and leave the 4th District with no representation for more than three months,” she wrote. “The 4th District deserves better.”
Boebert, who currently represents Colorado’s 3rd Congressional District, added: “I will not further imperil the already very slim House Republican majority by resigning my current seat and will continue to deliver on my constituents’ priorities while also working hard to earn the votes of the people of Colorado’s 4th District who have made clear they are hungry for a real conservative.”

She said on one of those Twitter Spaces thingies that "[t]his has a lot of potential to confuse voters, which is problematic.” Bless their hearts.

So all of this is very funny and it is too bad how Ken Buck just kicked both of these colleagues right in the jimmies on his way out the door.

Here’s a local news report that explains all of it:

OPEN THREAD.

[Colorado Sun]

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