Let's Watch Trump Fight With Tucker And Megyn And Candace And Alex Jones!
Also Melania Trump did not have sex with that woman.
You don’t under any circumstances have to hand it to Donald Trump, but he lashed out last night at a bunch of the erstwhile MAGA creatures who are (correctly) making fun of his giant fucking murder failure in Iran, and oh boy, it was hilarious. Moreover, we are going to have to agree with Trump on some of these counts!
No points awarded, obviously, but this MAGA crackup is amazing.
Let us take this word by word.
Transcript below the jump, HOO BOY.
I know why Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens, and Alex Jones have all been fighting me for years, especially by the fact that they think it is wonderful for Iran, the Number One State Sponsor of Terror, to have a Nuclear Weapon — Because they have one thing in common, Low IQs.
It will never not be sad and pathetic that he immediately goes to IQ. Sign of deep insecurity.
They’re stupid people, they know it, their families know it, and everyone else knows it, too!
Their families have a weekly potluck support group where they get together to talk about it, or they should.
Look at their past, look at their record. They don’t have what it takes, and they never did! They’ve all been thrown off Television, lost their Shows, and aren’t even invited on TV because nobody cares about them,
OK, that’s true.
they’re NUT JOBS, TROUBLEMAKERS,
NUT JOBS, TROUBLEMAKERS!
and will say anything necessary for some “free” and cheap publicity.
OK, that’s true.
Now they think they get some “clicks” because they have Third Rate Podcasts, but nobody’s talking about them, and their views are the opposite of MAGA — Or I wouldn’t have won the Presidential Election in a LANDSLIDE.
What? Also, he didn’t. No landslide. Squeaker. If God had farted in a different direction that day, Kamala Harris would have won. He didn’t even manage a majority of the vote. Sad.
MAGA agrees with me, and just gave CNN a 100% Approval Rating of “TRUMP,”
That sentence doesn’t make sense, even more so than his usual mangled, dementia-gargling sentences don’t make sense.
not Hand Flailing Fools like Tucker Carlson,
HAND FLAILER!
who couldn’t even finish College, he was a broken man when he got fired from Fox, and he’s never been the same — Perhaps he should see a good psychiatrist!
Do the work, Tucker!
Or Megyn Kelly, who nastily asked me the now famous, “Only Rosie O’Donnell,” question,
Blood coming out of her wherever!
or “Crazy” Candace Owens, who accuses the Highly Respected First Lady of France of being a man, when she is not,
Donald Trump is the man who will fight for Brigitte Macron’s honor …
and will hopefully win lots of money in the ongoing lawsuit. Actually, to me, the First Lady of France is a far more beautiful woman than Candace, in fact, it’s not even close!
He’ll be the hero that she’s been dreaming of …
(He only believes this because Candace is Black and Donald Trump is a virulent white supremacist.)
Or Bankrupt Alex Jones, who says some of the dumbest things, and lost his entire fortune, as he should have, for his horrendous attack on the families of the Sandy Hook shooting victims, ridiculously claiming it was a hoax.
Donald Trump is also the man who will fight for Sandy Hook families’ honor?
These so-called “pundits” are LOSERS, and they always will be!
OK, that’s true.
Now Fake News CNN, The Failing New York Times, and all of the other Radical Left “News” Organizations, are “hailing” them, and giving them “positive” press for the first time in their lives.
Not Wonkette, every time we’ve written about this — and we have a whole week of receipts — we have said you don’t under any circumstances have to hand it to them. We don’t know what CNN and the failing New York Times are doing, they’re total boner-lickers sometimes.
They’re not “MAGA,” they’re losers, just trying to latch on to MAGA.
All of the characters in this drama look like losers from here?
As President, I could get them on my side anytime I want to,
He could end the Ukraine war in their hearts on day one if he wanted.
but when they call, I don’t return their calls because I’m too busy on World and Country Affairs and, after a few times, they go “nasty,” just like Marjorie “Traitor” Brown,
Old Traitor Brown. Everybody knows who he’s talking about when he says that, because his nickname for her makes so much sense. Uh oh, here comes TRAITOR BROWN, and this time the space lasers are Jewishing HER!
Could be a cool movie, we don’t know.
but I no longer care about that stuff, I only care about doing right for our Country. MAGA is about WINNING and STRENGTH in not allowing Iran to have Nuclear Weapons.
Then why are they all declaring victory and being quite clear about the fact that they haven’t given up the right to enrich uranium? Also why is the strait still closed?
MAGA is about MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, and these people have no idea how to do that, BUT I DO, because THE UNITED STATES IS NOW THE “HOTTEST” COUNTRY ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD! President DONALD J. TRUMP
‘Kay.
When Trump was done with that, he posted a video of a woman being brutally murdered to death with a hammer, because he thinks it helps his racist white supremacist Hitler agenda. “Not for children!” the president explained, about his literal actual hammer murder video.
Oh hey, know something we just realized? We just realized that Trump posting the video of the woman being brutally murdered with a hammer comes from the same exact place in his soul that tells him to insult Candace Owens’s looks.
Now, there are a lot of people on the internet who are speculating that this wasn’t a Donald Trump-written screed, but we’re going to say they’re wrong. The babbling, the dementia-fied laser focus on perceived slights from over 10 years ago, the way he strings zingers together and thinks he’s being clever? (Traitor Brown!)
Yeah, this is all him. In all his senile Temu Hitler glory. He might have dictated it to Stephen Miller or one of the other fluffers, but this is him.
Also last night, Melania Trump did some kind of ISIS hostage video press conference where she insisted that she never had sex with that woman she wasn’t even remotely pedo coven partners with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, not that anybody was asking. Were you asking?
Is Trump trying to distract from his Iran humiliation by talking about something less humiliating like his starring role in the Epstein kid rape files? Don’t know. But if the White House thinks it’s a good idea to really make it juicy by getting people speculating about whether Melania has had more of a vital, as-yet-unseen role in Epstein-landia, then NAILED IT AGAIN, MISTER PRESIDENT SIR, oh golly we are a strong man with tears in our eyes right now, oh boy!
We’ve suspected as much about Melania forfuckingever, for the record. Spy? Handler? Something else? Who fucking knows.
Wonder if some big story about her is about to drop!
This has been a post about the very good and normal president of the United States and his very good and normal wife, who did not have sex with that woman. The end.
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well I forgot I had robyn scheduled for this morning when I posted Evan this morning. My bad! Comment on both anyway!
𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑠𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑖𝑡, 𝑡𝑜𝑜!
here's the thing about Trump calling people stupid...
it has often been said that
"𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑏𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑"
.
It just might be that the man in the mirror is the stupid one.
Not that the rest of these people aren't stupid, of course.