LIVE: We’re Sure This Jim Jordan/Merrick Garland Meetup Will Be Nice And Perfessional

Or maybe it will be another shitshow, shrug.

Jun 04, 2024

Yesterday, we had Marjorie Taylor Greene screaming during a congressional hearing that MISTER Fauci needed to be locked up, because whenever it’s her five minutes of questioning, SHE will decide who is a doctor of pandemic medicine sciences, and SHE has been doing her own research and YOU are not, MISTER Fauci.

Today we have Jim Jordan and his House Judiciary Committee screaming at Attorney General Merrick Garland, so we are sure it will be equally classy, but Jordan will be dressed like his wife bought his clothes for him at JV Coaches ‘R’ Us, because that’s how he dresses.

Here is your livestream, below some details.

So this will be bonkers, we are sure. Jim Jordan is saying it’s one of his “DOJ After Dark: Politicized!” hearings. Politico Playbook explains that they originally wanted to make this about holding the Biden administration in contempt for refusing to give them recordings of the president offering Special Counsel Robert Hur butterscotches (old) and finding quarters behind his ears (dark magic). But as usual, House Republicans can’t get it up to vote for contempt, can’t get it up to impeach Biden, can’t get it up.

But it’s cool, because Joe Biden ALSO put 12 jurors and the Manhattan DA in a headlock and forced them to witch hunt Donald Trump, plus Trump is lying and saying Biden and Garland tried to have him murdered at Mar-a-Lago.

Not only that, but three of the biggest lunatics in the House — Andy Biggs, Chip Roy, and Thomas Massie, who looks like if you forgot to put on sunscreen before you set your body literally on fire — sent a new letter to Garland last night just lightly suggesting that the FBI did January 6. Sure thing, guys.

Reckon Republican congressmen will come up with something to babble wildly at Garland.

Here are some excerpts of Garland’s opening statement. Sounds like he’s going to hit them head-on, though who knows how effective that will be once Jim Jordan starts gesticulating wildly like a man with an expired two-for-one lunch special coupon that the country fucker buffet is refusing to honor.

Enjoy.