MEGYN KELLY PRETTY SURE FOOTBALL IS WHITE, DAMMIT, JUST LIKE SANTA AND JESUS
And other dispatches from the very serious side of American political commentary after the Bad Bunny show!
New way for right-wingers to lose their shit over Bad Bunny just dropped, y’all!
You see, they appear to have decided that the Spanish language is such an impenetrable sea of rolled R’s and dripping eroticism, that they can just say Bad Bunny’s lyrics were about gay sex, and figure there’s no authority on earth that could prove them wrong. Or at least they know none of their followers is smart enough to visit Google Translate and check their work.
That’s the tack being taken by GOP Reps. Andy Ogle of Tennessee and Randy Fine of Florida, the only Jewish congressman who wouldn’t look out of place on the set of Hee Haw.
“Explicit displays of gay sexual acts”! Tell us you were actually watching gay porn instead of the Super Bowl without telling us you were actually watching gay porn instead of the Super Bowl, dude.
Oh wait, is he talking about that one split second where two guys were grinding on each other next to a truck? Um, OK, weirdo.
You guys, Bad Bunny’s show was illegal. If he said those opaque Spanish lyrics in English, it would have all been bleeped! And how does Randy Fine know this? Well he doesn’t, he’s kind of a poorly educated pigfucking redneck, but he’s pretty sure he saw a meme somewhere that said Bad Bunny’s lyrics were dirty. (But not about raping underage girls, that’s Kid Rock.)
Pornographic filth! Glorified sodomy! We call for an investigation! Lock them up!
(We enjoy the Bad Bunny song “The Glory of Sodomy” as much as anyone else, but he didn’t do that one.)
So yeah, that’s how those inbreds are keeping the rage going. Of course, one imagines that, to those dipshits, the very act of speaking Spanish is, in and of itself, vulgar.
There are of course all the regular white supremacist pissholes, screaming about Bad Bunny stealing their culture. You are hearing that from absolute losers like Jesse Watters on Fox News and Greg Kelly on Newsmax.
To which we must reply that white conservative Americans have no culture. Unless we’re talking about inbreeding, country music made in a lab, meth addiction, pastors who molest kids, and the original Cracker Barrel logo. In which case, fuck your culture, it should be stomped into oblivion by any means necessary.
Then there’s Greg Gutfeld. He said yesterday on The Five that there’s six million Puerto Ricans in the US? Well, there are twice as many Jews as that, so “Where is the Jewish halftime? Where are the dancing accountants? The men slinging pastrami? The Jewish mothers telling you to get a sweater on? And then you cap it off with a live circumcision right at the 50-yard line. And if you like it, you could burn it down and then claim it as insurance.”
Two thoughts: 1) Boy, we sure are glad Donald Trump is going after all the anti-semitism on college campuses! and 2) Not surprised Greg Gutfeld managed to work child genitals into his fantasy halftime show. He’s a white conservative after all. Kid genitals are kind of their thing.
But for just good old-fashioned unhinged, mouthbreathing, frothing racism, we must visit the OG Klan Soccer Mom herself, Megyn Kelly, who has a new verse for her oeuvre of cross-burning campfire songs SANTA IS WHITE and JESUS IS WHITE and THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS WHITE, IT JUST IS, OK? DON’T WORRY, KIDS, SANTA AND JESUS AND THE NATIONAL ANTHEM ARE WHITE!
Hit it, Megyn Kelly, tell us how football is WHITE DAMMIT WHITE.
Watch the video — it should be queued up, but if not, start at 6:00 — but make sure your speakers aren’t up too loud in case you’re somewhere in public and don’t want people near you to think you’re a big fan of Adolf Hitler’s Nativist Redneck Girlfriend:
MEGYN KELLY: I’m sorry, Piers, but to get up there and perform the whole show in Spanish is a middle finger to the rest of America! Who gives a damn that we have 40 million Spanish speakers? We have 310 million who don’t speak a lick of Spanish!
You have to understand how loudly she is screaming. She is so angry. Why so angry, Megyn Kelly?
KELLY: This is supposed to be a unifying event for the country. Not for the Latinos.
She actually pronounces “Latinos” correctly, but hatefully, as if it is an imposition on her Aryan countenance to pronounce the “T” properly.
KELLY: Not for one small group but for the country. We don’t need a Black National Anthem …
Yeah she bellyaches and bitches and moans about that every year, see above. (The Black national anthem is prettier than the bombastic “The Star-Spangled Banner,” but man, if we replaced that one with Brandi Carlile’s “America, The Beautiful” and put that alongside Black national anthem “Lift Every Voice And Sing,” that’d be something special.)
KELLY: we don’t need a Spanish-speaking non-English performing performer, and we don’t need an ICE- or America-hater featured as our primetime entertainment!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. She seems upset. Somebody bury Mommy’s white hood in the backyard and won’t give it back?
PIERS MORGAN: What is the national language — officially — the national language of the United States of America?”
MEGYN KELLY: I mean, English. And there’s been a push from —
PIERS MORGAN: No, no, hold on, no! You don’t have one!
MEGYN KELLY: If you would have let me finish my comment, I would have pointed that out that people are pushing to make it official. This attitude that we have right here is why you in Great Britain have lost your culture!
Oh man, she really lost it at Piers right there and started explaining Britain to him, which she is an expert on as the mayor of Outer Redneckia.
KELLY: You ceded your culture to a bunch of radical Muslims who came in and took over, and now it’s gone. We’re not allowing that here! Whether it’s Hispanic, whether it’s Muslim — it’s not happening in the United States of America.
Already explained what conservative white culture is, and that it’s worthless, and deserves to be destroyed. Would add that conservative white people don’t know how to season their food. White conservatives are limp raw hot dogs at the great cookout of life, and should no longer be invited.
KELLY: That’s why President Trump was elected. And whether it’s Bad Bunny, who is American but refuses to speak English in his performances, or anybody else, we have to keep the Super Bowl, which is a quintessential American event. Football, that kind of football, is ours! They call it American football.
FOOTBALL IS OURS! FOOTBALL IS OURS!
Hey, wanna watch Bad Bunny carrying that football more yards than the New England Patriots did on Sunday? You can watch it again, it’s cool.
KELLY: And the half time show and everything around it must stay quintessentially American. Not Spanish, not Muslim, not anything other than good old-fashioned American apple pie! There should be a meatloaf, maybe some fried chicken, and an English-speaking performer. That’s what the Super Bowl should be!
Christ, there has never been a white blonde American Karen who is a bigger loser than Megyn Kelly. She’s so very screamy.
We said it in another post already today, but the sooner this miserable woman’s children grow up and proceed to never call or visit her again, the better off they’ll be. Let’s hear her scream about meatloaf and fried chicken when there’s nobody at her table to eat it with her.
Can’t wait to read their tell-all books about what a monstrous piece of shit she acts like at home.
OPEN THREAD.
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The USA Women's hockey team is on fire. They also have for the first time a Black player, Laila Edwards. I discovered she is also from my hometown so double awesome!
"Laila Edwards: First black woman on Team USA’s Olympic hockey team
How the 22-year-old Cleveland Heights native has become a role model for women’s ice hockey in her country."
https://www.olympics.com/en/milano-cortina-2026/news/ice-hockey-women-usa-laila-edwards-black-pioneer
I wrote the article for Friday, but I'm too excited not to spill the beans. This weekend, I'm sailing to a desert island four hours south of Tampa. I'll be part of a living history encampment portraying pirates from the year 1717 for four days. This is dressed the part for four days, Civil War reenactment, as accurately as possible. It's the most pirate thing I could do, ever. SO MANY PHOTOS on Monday!