New York Times, Washington Post Forget To Investigate If Trump Is Dead
Seems like an oversight!
So, on Friday, the Internet noticed that Dear Leader had not been seen in public since Tuesday, not since his batshit three-hour-plus praisefest Cabinet meeting. Rumors began to spread online and by 9:15 a.m. ET on Saturday '#whereistrump' was the sixth most popular trending topic on X in the US, and ‘TRUMP DIED' had been Xitted more than 42,000 times. And TikTok videos began to proliferate, some making false assertions.
There is no evidence Melania was at Walter Reed.
But it’s a sign of the times, that there is so little trust in this regime that thousands of people believe the man could secretly die and it could and would be covered up for days, like some kind of “Death of Stalin” or “Weekend At Bernie’s” scenario. A delayed death announcement would be very authoritarian dictatorship: Not only Stalin, but Yuri Andropov of the Soviet Union, Azerbaijani President Heydar Aliyev, Saparmurat Niyazov of Turkmenistan, and Kim Jong Il all also notoriously died days before their deaths were officially announced, while in the background their hench-goons jockeyed for power. And that’s where we are, resorting to checking the Pentagon Pizza Index to see if something is going down in Clowntown!
Also there was somebody throwing garbage bags out of the second-floor White House window? Seriously, what the fuck is going on down there?
Anyway, Dictator Day One sure does seem to have his death on his mind quite a bit lately. On the 19th he dialed into “Fox & Friends” and talked about wanting to get into heaven:
“I want to try and get to heaven, if possible. I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, [making peace in Ukraine] will be one of the reasons.”
Then last week he referred to Baltimore as “a deathbed,” which is a curious choice of words, as he’s generally preferred insults like “rodent infested mess” the “worst in the USA” and a place “no human being would want to live.”
Then there’s all the bruises and makeup smeared over his hands. (Can no one help him apply makeup properly?) And JD Vance didn’t help matters talking about how prepared he is to take over, and it double-dog didn’t help that as proof of life Dear Leader TruthSocialed a week-old photo and that he NEVER FELT BETTER.
Jon Gruden is a POS, BTW.
Anyway, you would think the media would be ALL OVER that, because that is fucking weird. If that was Joe Biden, clearing his schedule and posting an old picture, it would be on the front of every page! If it was Hillary Clinton being dead of pneumonia times Parkinson’s (she got better), there’d be multiple above-the-fold stories for days. The NYT sent a push alert to notify people that a Parkinson’s doctor had been to the White House, and could have even passed Joe Biden in a hallway, could be!
But no, not even one comment from Jake Tapper, and if there was one word from the Washington Post, LA Times or New York Times, about the President’s disappearance and/or posting of a week-old photo as a proof of life, well, we missed it. The foreign press like BBC and SkyNews noticed, though.
He just shakes a lot of hands, sure.
Meanwhile, Biden was out here swanning his svelte ankles, and licking an ice cream cone.
Hey, remember how we found out at Trump’s New York felony porner-peener-payer trial that all those National Enquirer stories about Hillary Clinton being on her deathbed were a Fake News brainchild of Steve Bannon, with the eager assistance of Michael Cohen and Enquirer editor David Pecker (along with those stories about Marco Rubio attending a sexxxy “man fest foam party,” Ted Cruz’s father hanging out with Lee Harvey Oswald, and Ben Carson leaving a sponge in somebody’s brain)? Trump made this ecosystem, this fart-box of rumors and conspiracy theories, and it serves him right.
Disappearing actually isn’t unheard of for Trump, though. Remember in July of last year he vanished from the campaign trail for 10 days? Made zero appearances to Biden’s 18? And then in October he had that bizarre campaign appearance where he bopped and swayed to Ave Maria for 39 minutes? And the time he appeared to fellate a microphone? And yet still, we had to hear about Biden old three times more often from the New York Times, and STILL have to hear allegations about some kind of coverup about his health to this day.
Yes, Trump is old, and deteriorating before our eyes and ears. But Fred Trump died at 94, and his mother Mary was 88. The guy looks like shit, but he’s walking and talking, and it is entirely possible Trump could live another decade or more.
And not to be a Debbie Downer, but Trump is not really the problem. He’s a problem for sure, but the Supreme Court is the bigger problem. Trump could die tomorrow, and the MAGA spell could get broken like true love’s kiss, because Vance does not have the same charisma as Dear Leader, and gets booed everywhere he goes. But the Federalist Society and Heritage Foundation weirdos have seized the levers of government, and the regime is in a full-court press to take everybody’s vote away. We would still have a mighty high climb to get out of this mess. Though it would sure be nice to quit digging!
But as of now, Trump is not dead. We repeat, not dead. That we know of.
[New York Times archive link / Newsweek / New Yorker archive link]
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Speaking of 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐭 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐞'𝐬, special event announcement! Tomorrow, Wednesday night we will be doing a Surprise Movie Night. The post will go up at 8pm, we start watching at 9pm ET.
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This retired RN cared for profoundly ill patients who looked a HELLUVA lot better than the Degenerate Derelict does now. Hell; I've performed CPR on patients who looked like they were in better shape, even after I called time of death.
It makes me very uncomfortable to note that I am NOT kidding.