Newsmax Guy Concerned Joe Biden Might Be A Furry
Sure, but is he using a litter box at the White House?
Republicans are obsessed with furries. They spent much of last year freaking out over children in schools supposedly being furries and insisting on being able to use litter boxes to do their business in lieu of going to the bathrooms. This did not happen, of course, but we should not memory hole the fact that they insisted it did. That should be used against them until the end of time.
Anyway, this is not about that! This is about Newsmax’s Rob Schmitt speculating that President Joe Biden might be one … because Dr. Jill dressed up as a panda for Halloween.
We can’t embed Media Matters videos on Substack, so I highly recommend clicking over there to watch Schmitt giggle his face off through this whole monologue, which he clearly thinks is hilarious.
But we do have the transcript!
Do you know what a furry is? Did you see that episode of “Entourage” years ago? If not, Google it because the president might be one. At his final White House trick-or-treat event last night, Joe walked out with his wife, Dr. Jill, who for some reason was dressed completely as a panda bear. She's never looked better. And then, as usual, Joe got weird with the kids after that. There's the picture. I can't get enough of it. Go back to the biting of the leg. Can we go back? I've been laughing at that all day. That might be the picture of the year. Whenever they give out the photog awards, mainstream media, I think that might do it. Biden then decided to put another baby's foot in his mouth, something he did three times — foot in the mouth, a baby's foot in the mouth. That can't be healthy. A nice high-res shot of that moment. Headline from Newsweek — Joe Biden bites several babies at Halloween event. There it is. We're not making it up. And it's not the first time that Joe Biden has done this, of course. So let him bite some babies. What the hell? He's got two months left.
First of all, that costume is hilarious and I love it. Good for her!
Second, there is nothing wrong with dressing up like a panda, whether you are going out for Halloween or just hanging out around your home like a normal person who owns a panda poncho.
It doesn’t mean you are a furry, it just means you like things that are obviously adorable and fun.
Clearly, the former Fox Five guy simply cannot conceive of a woman wearing something for Halloween that isn’t a Sexy Something or Other and thus assumes that Dr. Jill is wearing the giant panda suit because that is what Biden is into, sexually. (Though to be clear, not all furries are in it for the sex, some of them just like wearing mascot outfits and going to conventions!)
This is incorrect! Many of us deliberately prefer to not do sexy Halloween, except for the one time we went as Dead Jayne Mansfield and it was necessary for the concept.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, a panda is just a panda and people pretend like they’re going to bite a baby’s foot because they’re just being silly.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
Speaking (again) about the foot-biting thing. My BFF is a child development specialist (Speech Pathologist, but requires expertise in early childhood development to evaluate when someone isn't talking b/c of a problem and when they aren't talking because 14 months is too early for sentences and also, too, who worries about Harvard's Verbal SAT requirements right now you rich fucking weirdo parents?).
It's a completely normal thing for babies to put their fingers and toes just about everywhere, including their own mouths and the mouths of anyone nearby, because in the pre-verbal exploration of the world, learning is done by direct sensing and all physical sensation provides useful learning feedback. And adults have not failed to notice how non-injurious gnawing can make a baby laugh and also get them to pull their hand out of your mouth when you want them to -- both good things. A baby's laughter in particular is a treasure. And even if you are not as old as me or as dirt or even as old as Joe Biden, you can understand how people who reach grandparent age might value these interactions with children not yet a year old. It's a shared moment of laughter and delight for both the adult and the child, and I've never seen it as anything but normal despite these terrible right-wing killjoys trying to pretend that infants don't laugh and smile like crazy at this kind of thing.
So I suggested, and my household expert in human learning and development confirmed for me,, that it **is** actually age-appropriate to engage in playful, humorous biting games when one reaches 80 years old.
>> (Though to be clear, not all furries are in it for the sex, some of them just like wearing mascot outfits and going to conventions!) <<
Oh, Robyn, Robyn, Robyn.
The ones who aren't in it for the sex are obviously in it for the gay hacking of transphobes and the doxxing of their personal data, duh.
https://pervertjustice.substack.com/p/are-you-a-gay-furry-if-so-you-may