Newsmax Saw Joe Biden Eating Salad, And They Are MAD
Now Biden's really impeached.
Wonkette won the morning this morning with a story about House Oversight Committee Chair James “Le Pigfuck” Comer going on Eric Bolling’s Newsmax show and claiming the reason it’s taking so long to impeach Joe Biden is just because there’s TOO MUCH EVIDENCE. Comer is drowning in evidence about Hunter Biden’s wing-wang or whatever, because Comer never learned to swim in Hunter Biden’s wing-wang, and he doesn’t have floaties, and this paragraph is weird enough now, so we’ll start a new one.
But Bolling was begging, pleading with Comer to produce SOMETHING those goatfuckers who watch Newsmax could hang their hopes on. These MAGA idiots have been waiting for a miracle! They want to see Democrats rounded up and put in camps! They want to see all the pronouns confiscated, and the only vaccine they want is one that’ll kill the Woke Mind Virus!
But Comer could not help them.
Of course, the answer was right in front of him the whole time, because Bolling also reported yesterday that Joe Biden ate a salad at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and it was on video, and Joe Biden ate the salad wrong, per the seasoned salad-tossers at Newsmax.
That’s the real impeachin’ right there, that’ll take down Joe Biden!
This is almost as earth-shattering as all the irrefutable evidence we have that Joe Biden wears shoes that are comfortable on his feet. That fucking sicko.
Transcript via Media Matters:
BOLLING: First of all, grown man looks like Joe was dressed by his mommy.
He didn’t, but when your chosen president looks like this, “I know you are but what am I” is probably the best retort you have.
Did you all see cackling Kamala? Of course she'd laugh at Joe's jokes. She thought it was funny.
How dare woman laugh at jokes at time like this.
That woman would laugh at a funeral.
If it was a funny part! Like what if Donald Trump was at the funeral and he fell asleep and ripped a real squirter right during the eulogy? Our esteemed vice president might just lose it laughing.
His clearly scripted digs at Trump just expose the party's weakness.
A White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech SCRIPTED? This is breaking news to … absolute moron who don’t know how anything works, i.e. whoever was drooling in front of Eric Bolling on the TV last night.
Sure, Joe is a big talker when he's speaking in a room full of biased left-wing media guests. Where is the confidence when Trump wants to debate?
Come on, Joe. Put your bow tie, take the stage across from a real leader who has a few policy victories to stand on. You can even bring Kamala and your new walking aides who will help you walk to the stage. Of course not. A debate is never happening. Joe Biden doesn't think highly enough of the American people to participate. This disgraceful president is finally getting a dose of reality. With every week, we're seeing new polls that favorite Trump more and more, which immediately make it to the White House. Trust me when I tell you Joe Biden would know his days in office are numbered if he could remember what day it actually was.
Bolling seems mad. Is he mad? He seems mad.
Here’s where he’s mad at Joe Biden’s salad:
I'll leave you with this. Here is the President of the United States, the man with the nuclear codes, and his fingertips are grappling with a bowl of lettuce. He can barely feed himself. Just watch this for a second. This isn't slowed down. This isn't edited. This is Joe trying to eat a bite of salad. Just watch, just watch. This man has a nuclear code. That's the pre — that's the President of the United States. The man who's going to push back on Russia, China, North Korea. Are you kidding me? He can't even take a bite of his own salad. This man is not suited for the job for four more minutes, let alone four more years.
You are all invited to watch Joe Biden eating a salad (above) and decide if you are angry about it like Eric Bolling is, or if you’re somehow not going to let it ruin your day.
We know which we are picking. (We are going to be mad about Joe Biden’s salad with Eric Bolling, obv.)
OPEN THREAD.
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BREAKING: Barron Trump has appealed Judge Merchan's decision to let his father attend his graduation.
Deceptive editing. What Newsmax cut: As the salad course was being cleared, smoke machine starts up, Joe rips off the formal wear to reveal Dark Brandon red-white-and-blue spandex wrastlin’ attire, he body-slams Darrel Issa and then snaps into a Slim Jim. Manly as fuck.