Earlier this week, WWE Hall Of Famer and now convicted felon Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 felony counts stemming from his hush money case in New York. Everyone took the verdict like normal humans and even celebrated our legal system’s demonstration that no one is above the law.
Did we say normal? We mean the GOP lost their collective shits.
Let’s dive in and see the many coping methods in this week’s Sunday shows.
Who Said ‘Lock Them Up’?
Who better to begin with than the “Little Rascals” co-star and current felonious presidential nominee, Donald Trump.
Appearing on “Fox & Friends Weekend” to get an ego pick me up from the show’s “B” team, Trump and host Will Cain suddenly had very different recollections of the MAGA world’s “lock her/him/them up” chants.
CAIN: You famously said, regarding Hillary Clinton, “lock her up.” You declined to do that as President.
TRUMP: I beat her. It’s easier when you win. And THEY always said “lock her up” and I felt—and I could have done it, but I felt it would have been a terrible thing. […] I didn’t say “lock her up”, but the people would say “lock her up, lock her up”…OK. Then we won and I say pretty openly “OK, let’s relax. We have to make our country great.”
Oh really, motherfucker? Let’s check the tape.
Trump being a liar is not new but he accidentally kinda admitted why he suddenly “changed his mind” in that Fox News interview.
TRUMP: And then this happened to ME. So I may feel differently about it.
That’s the truth right there. He only sees a constitutional crisis if he is the one facing consequences.
The New Trump Organization RNC
On CNN’s “State Of The Union,” new Republican National Committee (RNC) Co-Chair Lara Trump made it clear that all who are found disloyal to Donald Trump will be disowned and left to suffer. Guest host Kasie Hunt read this tweet from Chris LaCivita, a top Trump adviser, responding to former Maryland governor and current Republican Senate candidate Larry Hogan, who committed the grievous sin of saying we should respect the legal process and the rule of law:
HUNT: Does the Republican National Committee support Larry Hogan for Senate?
L. TRUMP: Well, I will tell you one thing. I don't support what he just said there. I think it's ridiculous. And I think anybody who's not speaking up in the face of really something that should never, again, have seen the light of day at trial, that would never have been brought against any other person aside from Donald Trump doesn't deserve...
HUNT: But does the RNC support his bid?
L. TRUMP: ... the -- the respect of anyone.
HUNT: He doesn't deserve the respect of anyone?
L. TRUMP: Well, I have to get back to you. He doesn't deserve the respect of anyone in the Republican Party at this point and, quite frankly, anybody in America, if that's the way you feel. That's very upsetting to hear that.
Hunt, for her part, tried to explain the folly of this strategy.
HUNT: So are you willing to cede the Senate seat in Maryland to the Democratic Party and not support Larry Hogan?
L. TRUMP: What I will tell you is that we, of course, want to win as a party, but that is a shame. And I think he should have thought long and hard before he said that publicly.
HUNT: Do you -- are you willing to use Republican Party resources to support his bid or not? It sounds like you're saying you're not.
L. TRUMP: Well, I will get back to you on all the specifics monetarily, but what I can tell you is that, as the Republican Party co-chair, I think he should never have said something like that. I think that's ridiculous.
It doesn’t matter how much Lara Trump cosplays as junior mafia don for her father-in-law, he’s still not gonna tell Eric he loves him. And it’s not going to make Lara Trump look any more qualified than every other nepo baby with a fake, do-nothing job.
Again, there is no such thing as ‘Good Republicans’
Here are a pair of supposedly “normal” Republicans showing how little they care about their nominee being a convicted felon.
Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
MANU RAJU: Is it a good idea for the Republican party to nominate a convicted felon?
McCARTHY: […] The answer is 100 percent yes.
New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu
HUNT: So Donald Trump is now a convicted felon. Are you comfortable voting for him in November?
SUNUNU: Oh, sure […]HUNT: But do you find it troubling at all?
SUNUNU: Look, I don't want me nominee to be convicted of anything [...] this is how bad Joe Biden is.
Doug Burgum: Stupidest Trump Surrogate
Appearing on CBS’s “Face The Nation,” Gov. Doug Burgum of North Dakota reminded everyone why his idiotic presidential campaign failed, when he tried to tell us all about the good old Trump years:
BURGUM: And this is an unusual thing, that this is not – President Trump's not a candidate that's unknown or never run before. They had an opportunity to live their life under four years of him. […] And they had a chance to, you know, prosper. And they had a chance to understand what the world was like, no wars. […]
MARGARET BRENNAN: The U.S. isn't involved in a war right now either. […]
BURGUM: Well, we're involved in two proxy wars.
BRENNAN: We were then as well.
Cool, let’s talk about those “proxy wars.” Let’s remind people of Trump holding Ukrainian aid hostage while he extorted the president into helping him steal the 2020 election. He was impeached for that (the first time, not second one), and his actions might have given Vladimir Putin a hint Ukraine was vulnerable. Or we could pretend that Israel and Palestine were just super-happy and copacetic until Joe Biden came along. Of course that would make us abject morons.
But sure whatever.
We’re going to have to monitor that idiot more closely, people may not understand yet what an assclown he really is.
Have a week.
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I have never seen a doctor hauled before Congress to answer for the crime of saving American lives. I’ve never seen that before.
Forget the first time offender BS. Martha Stewart served 5 months for far less of an offense.