Political Shakedown

It's your very Bob Seger-inspired Sunday shows rundown!

The Sunday shows this week were filled with enough material that it is almost difficult to cover it all. Let’s get started!

Takedown, Breakdown

Normally we don’t cover Maria Bartiromo’s “Sunday Morning Futures” because that much of a dive into the toxic MAGA sewage is dangerous without large quantities of potassium iodide pills. But sometimes it’s unavoidable.

This was the case when Florida Congressman and teen movie villain, in more ways than one, Matt Gaetz decided to try to hijack Bartiromo’s show.

After interviewing Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan, Bartiromo segued into Gaetz to ask why he and his fellow extremist colleagues willing to shutdown the government. Gaetz, however, was not hearing any of that and came out the gates swinging.

GAETZ: Thank you. I’m glad I get to respond to your monologue. Because if you’re saying that I’m standing in the way of all the Republican “wins,” I’d love you to enumerate them. […]

It did not get any better for Bartiromo, as she tried to ask once again why Gaetz was threatening all the “progress” that Republicans have made like McCarthy’s idiotic impeachment inquiry. Gaetz made it clear that he doesn’t give a shit about McCarthy’s attempts to please him.

GAETZ: We don’t put our pencils down in the investigation of President Biden during a shutdown. So the premise in false. […] We seem to be fundamentally unserious in our oversight. […]

I think we can all agree that House Republicans are fundamentally unserious assclowns, but not for the reasons Matt Gaetz thinks. There is much more to Gaetz tantrum on Bartiromo’s show, but here is a helpful summary:

Basically this.

So as a palate cleanser for herself, Bartiromo then interviewed Utah Senator and amateur Lex Luthor cosplayer, Mike Lee.

But while Lee was much more respectful than Matt Gaetz, he was nonetheless just as clear about what Republicans’ real priorities are. When Bartiromo tried to point out the consequences of a government shutdown, Lee showed how little they cared about anything but their political stunts.

BARTIROMO: If we see a government shutdown, does the investigation of President Biden stop? […]

LEE: […] I applaud Speaker McCarthy for launcing this inquiry. I’m aware of no reason why that inquiry could not continue, even if the government were to shutdown temporarily. There’s nothing suggesting to me that Congress can’t do its work if that happens. In any event, we couldn’t use that as an excuse unilaterally to “disarm’ and to just assuage to anything the Democrats want.

If you are a veteran or elderly person or poor or want any of the services that you are entitled to from your government by paying taxes, tough luck! But be happy to know that while your Medicare/Medicaid or VA compensation might be delated/halted, Mike Lee and Matt Gaetz will not let your sacrifice go to waste while they continue investigating Joe Biden for his son’s mistakes.

Menendez Is Busted, (Durbin) Wants Into Crowded Picket Lines

While Republicans are in chaos, the Democratic side of the aisle has been in a bit of their own disarray thanks to New Jersey Senator and (alleged) gold-loving villain Bob Menendez.

Canadian artist rendition of Bob Menendez.

Many Democratic lawmakers in the House, Senate, and Menendez’s home state have called for his resignation in light of the announcement of a federal corruption investigation. But Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin demonstrated his trademark “bravery” on CNN’s “State Of The Union.”

DURBIN: Let me tell you, Dana, this is a very serious charge. There's no question about it. […] These are, in fact, indictments that have to be proven under the rule of law. The person who is accused is entitled to the presumption of innocence. And it's the responsibility of the government to prove that case. […]

BASH: A lot of Democrats, I'm sure you have seen, agree with you that he does deserve the presumption of innocence in a court of law. But particularly those in his home state of New Jersey, they say that the detailed evidence in this indictment say it means that he doesn't belong in the U.S. Senate. You disagree?

DURBIN: Well, keep in mind that these are charges, and they have to be proven. And there is a presumption of innocence. How far it goes, in terms of his future service, is something to be decided by the senator and the people of New Jersey.

While it is often invoked in false equivalence, Senate Democrats did not hesitate to call and push for the resignation of former Minnesota Senator Al Franken. There was no talk of “let the voters decide” or “due process” in that case, despite Franken not being criminally charged for anything. But we are on Menendez’s SECOND corruption indictment and Durbin, who is the second highest-ranking Democratic Senator, is treating this with the same level of stupid cowardice he has his Judiciary Committee chairmanship.

But what will Dick Durbin actually stand for?

Durbin even borrowed a phrase from everyone’s patron saint of fecklessness.

Dick Durbin: The Susan Collins of Chuck Schumers

We hope someone has a fainting couch ready in case he encounters comfortable shoes or (gasps) T-shirts worn by the United Auto Workers while performatively strike marching in Chicago this week.

Maybe we could have made Republican senators, Clarence Thomas and Senator Dianne Feinstein wear hoodies and shorts to force Durbin to have been effective earlier instead of wasting time.

Have a week.