Republicans Should DEFINITELY Try To Make Trump The Next Speaker. Please Please Please Please Please.

Get your red string and your crystals, it's the Wonkette numerology roundup!

What a day at your Wonkette!

A one-two-three speaker punch from SER and Evan and Evan again!

Kevin McCarthy Speakership Grand Closing Celebration!

God Closes Kevin McCarthy Door, Puts ‘Kick Me’ Sign On Some Dork Patrick McHenry’s Window

Republicans Should DEFINITELY Try To Make Trump The Next Speaker. What Could Go Wrong?

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One sad lady.

Nikki Haley's Just Plumb Thrilled Trump's Sicced His MAGA Mob On Her

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Two, count ‘em, two Nice Times from Doktor Zoom!

Pharma Companies Agree To Negotiate Medicare Drug Prices, Tyrant Socialism Ensues

Arizona To Saudi Water Rustlers: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen The Fuck Out

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Three bad people we wouldn’t mind not hearing from ever again!

Joe Manchin Being A Total Joe Manchin Again

Elon's Getting Sued By Man He Accused Of Being A 'Fed' Posing As A Neo-Nazi

Vivek Ramaswamy Wants To Phantom Zone Mentally Ill People Because That'll Fix All The Crime

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Two shocking stories from the Right: Clarence Thomas actually bothered to recuse!

Not Even Justice Clarence Thomas Wants To Know John Eastman These Days

And Rudy Giuliani … sir or madam, you might want to sit down … might be a [pops can open glug glug glug dons lampshade dances hoochie coochie falls down on his own unzipped chram]. America’s Mayor, indeed.

See you all bright and early for a new day of news! We love you bye!