Have y’all heard that the inbreds at ICE — half of whose recruits can’t pass an open book test and a more than a third of whose recruits can’t do four crunches without wheezing — are getting 700 percent more weapons under Donald Trump than previously, presumably for use against immigrants and any others who still have a functioning moral compass and try to defend them?
Gotta beef things up for Trump’s Gestapo army of dropouts, alleged rapists, criminals and (probably, just guessing) J6 alumni! Firstly because it’s clear Donald Trump, who despises the military and its troops, wants to build an army of fuckstupids who will only answer to him. Secondly, and relatedly, it would at least appear that the generals now have so little respect for Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth — AKA Secretary Shitfaced, the DUI/DEI hire with the pronounced masculinity issues — that no reasonable person would assume they’d obey direct illegal orders from the son of a bitch.
This is being reported this week in the Washington Times, which is HUGELY significant because that’s the damn Moonie Times, the entrenched DC conservative media. Things are looking, how to put this, bad for the unqualified loser Defense secretary, if the conservative media is now discussing how much the generals hate Pete Hegseth’s delicate, whiny ass.
Military opinion on the biggest joke of a Defense secretary in military history has only gotten worse after Shitfaced forced every general to come to Quantico so he could grunt at them, show off his new Botox, and tell them America loses wars because they’re all a bunch of pussies, as opposed to being WARFIGHTER like him. (Pete Hegseth’s military record is noteworthy for how generally unimpressive it is. Generals and admirals, on the other hand, are fucking generals and admirals.)
For this article, the Washington Times spoke to generals and other senior military officials, and also some formers. (Not MSNBC, so can’t accuse them of just looking for a handful of disgruntled and woke generals who haven’t been fired yet. Washington Times.)
“It was a massive waste of time. … If he ever had us, he lost us,” said one Army general, currently serving, about Hegseth’s dancy prancy speech about how girl troops are icky and upset him and WARFIGHTER!
If he ever had us …
The report says Shitfaced has lost respect from “some top military commanders,” and says sources called his speech “embarrassing” and “below our institution.”
“Mainly what I see from him are not serious things,” a current senior officer said. “It’s, ‘Why did this service member tweet this?’ Or internal politics and drama. That’s mostly what I see.”
Guess this is part of what happens when you take a mediocre and relatively low-ranking zero like Hegseth out of his Fox News makeup chair and put him in charge of the greatest military in human history.
Who coulda predicted?
Aside from Hegseth’s humiliating speech, currently serving people who outrank him are really worried about all his purges, expressing grave concerns that his desperate, deep psychological need to eliminate anybody from the military who is smarter or better than him is causing a devastating drain of, well, people who are smarter or better than Pete Hegseth:
“Across the services, we are bleeding talent, talented generals and flag officers, for what appears to be the opposite of a meritocracy,” another current senior officer said. “There are people being held back from promotions, or being fired, or removed for sometimes unknown reasons, often for favoritism, or just simple relationships.”
Some of the people the Washington Times talked to said there is even some support in the military for some of the things Hegseth wants to do, but it comes across as an in theory kind of thing, like maybe if there wasn’t such a “grandstanding” dumbass leading the charge.
“The theater of it all is below our institution,” the officer said. “Several of these changes are being made already by the services. And they could be made by any secretary. … They don’t have to be announced on stage in public in this grandstanding kind of way.”
“It seems like it’s all about one guy here,” the officer said of Mr. Hegseth, giving voice to a common refrain expressed by multiple sources.
And speaking of low-ranking, the article features a theme we’re starting to see more and more, where high-ranking officials specifically say Hegseth’s leadership feels exactly like being led by a peon with an extremely limited view of the job. In this article, the Washington Times says “numerous sources,” including current officers and civilians at the Pentagon, think Hegseth looks at his job just like a “junior officer” would.
The same Army general quoted above was appalled by the speech. They were hoping to hear Hegseth announce something important that day. “Not about fucking haircuts,” the general said. Reportedly “numerous” people in the room that day felt the same. Another Washington Times source referred to Shitfaced as having “the mentality of a midgrade officer.”
He’s not focused on the big boy stuff, in other words. He doesn’t even know what the big boys do all day.
The MyPillow Guy Will Defend Hegseth’s Good Name!
In response to this article, Hegseth’s fluffer Sean Parnell said everybody who talked to them should resign. He also said “warrior ethos” and “warfighting,” presumably because if Hegseth sees his name in the newspaper without “warrior ethos” or “warfighting” in the same paragraph, his already hanging-by-a-thread dick will fall clean off.
The Washington Times notes that it — like pretty much all others with any modicum of self-respect (and also Newsmax!) — refused to sign Hegseth’s paranoid little sensitive sissy boy journalism pledge, and therefore lost its access to the inside of the Pentagon.
But yet they still got this article written! Amazing. They got all these scoops from outside the building, which suggests to us that the little Murrows, Cronkites, Woodwards and Bernsteins who staff the MyPillow guy’s news operation are really falling down on the job.
What, you did not hear? The Pentagon ain’t NEED NO old press corps, because it’s got a NEW press corps, and, well, this one has the MyPillow guy in it.
Sean Parnell fluffed up the announcement with a tweet bragging about the “broad spectrum of new media outlets and independent journalists” who would now be broadcasting live from the urinals in Hegseth’s office.
Well, there is Lindell TV, which exists, and is the MyPillow guy’s “news outlet.”
And speaking of fluffers, there is Gateway Pundit and Jim Hoft, AKA the Stupidest Man on the Internet.
Ooh, and Alex Jones’s Infowars! And Tim Pool! You know, the podcaster in the beanie who was on the Russian dole. (He swears he had NO IDEA, which is possible, because he is quite stupid.)
The Washington Post reports that other awesome journalists allowed inside the Pentagon now include “the Post Millennial, Human Events, the National Pulse, and RedState. It also includes Turning Point USA’s media brand Frontlines […] and a Substack-based newsletter called Washington Reporter.” Oh, plus One America News, which was willing to blow Hegseth from the get-go, and the Federalist and Epoch Times (speaking of “on the foreign dole”), who ultimately said OK fine and lined up for a turn behind OAN. (Which led an Epoch Times national security reporter to resign, also because the outfit is ordering them to call antifa a terrorist organization.)
But anyway, we are sure the MyPillow Guy Streaming-Only News Network is picking up the slack left by the exodus of real reporters and will earn a Pulitzer by lunchtime tomorrow.
One More Story About Pussy Ass Pete?
Well, he has ordered Pentagon staffers not to talk to any members of Congress without permission. He announced the change in a memo that used the words “warrior ethos” and “Department of War,” because again, if Pete Hegseth does not use or hear those words on a regular basis, his dick falls off.
But wait, isn’t Congress a coequal branch of government with responsibility for oversight over the Pentagon? Haha, not in Stupid Hitler Trump’s America.
Man, What A Cool Guy Pete Hegseth Is
Ooh, did you guys see Shitfaced got to ride in the back of an F/A-18 fighter jet and the Department of Defense posted a video of it like LOOKIE THE SECRETARY OF WAR! (doing their part to keep Hegseth’s dick attached) and the clear implication for the morons is that Hegseth actually flew that plane just like Top Gun, even though he isn’t qualified to wash that plane much less fly it?
Here is Adam Kinzinger making fun of that:
And here is Kinzinger, still laughing, in response to Hegseth’s own tweet about how cool he is:
And then there was this hilarious community note on Twitter, in response to one of the rubes that is MAGA’s target market.
The Daily Beast reports that said Community Note has been since modified to be slightly less hilariously bitchy, but we think it’s great.
Guess we’ll just add “can’t fly” to the list of things Secretary Shitfaced can’t do.
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It's going to be so amazing being alive in 2026 because the front page will say "BREAKING Mamdani Received Free Cheese Pizza From a Local Vendor, Calls to Resign Mount" and then on page 3 you'll see "Hegseth's Pentagon Rape Dungeon Raises Legal Questions."
Pete Hegseth riding in the back of an F/A18 has real Mike Dukakis vibes to it, if you're old enough to remember that moment in time.