Spoiler Alert: RFK Jr. Off Ballot In NC, On In Michigan And Wisconsin
Spoiler Alert: RFK Jr. Off Ballot In NC, On In Michigan And Wisconsin
Wherever this guy goes, chaos follows.
Like the juice from a decapitated, rotting whale seeping through the roof of a minivan onto children below, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s plans to be a spoiler for Donald J. Trump has mostly been splashing back into their faces.
But Trump and his little worm-brained buddy just got handed a win in North Carolina late Monday night, with the state Supreme Court deciding 4-3 that RFK Jr.’s name should be removed from the ballots after all. Coincidentally right after a new poll shows her winning there! Mail-in ballots had already been printed, per NC State law that required them to be sent out by September 6. So it’ll cost the state about $1 million to reprint them all, and might create chaos, but oh well, said the NC Supreme Court!
You’ll recall on August 23rd, the dog-eating bear-smuggling conspiracy-theory loving lunatic RFK Jr. “suspended” his bid as an Independent candidate and endorsed the guy he’d previously called a “sociopath,” “buffoon” and a “bully.” And Trump had called him a “Democratic plant” and “liberal lunatic.” But they bonded over a shared delusion that babies are getting horse-sized vaccines, and forged some kind of deal that was definitely not a quid pro quo of some sort, and how dare anyone suggest such a thing?!
In Kennedy’s endorsement speech of Trump, in between obsessing about how girls don’t go through puberty when they’re 19 years old these days and groaning about how some Democrat cabal had been censoring him somehow, he announced his plan try to stay on the ballot in 10 battleground states, just to fuck shit up and help Trump out.
Christ, what a creeper. Anyway, in the same speech he also said,
“My name will remain on the ballot in most states. If you live in a blue state, you can vote for me, without harming or helping President Trump or Vice President Harris. In red states the same will apply. I encourage you to vote for me [...] but, in about 10 battleground states where my presence would be a spoiler, I’m going to remove my name.”
And that’s what he’s been trying to do, to varying degrees of success.
Previously!
In Arizona, Florida, Nevada, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Texas Kennedy succeeded in taking himself and his “Natural Law Party” removed from the ballots, and in Georgia, he was removed by a judge, because he was strongly suspected of lying about living in a $500-a-month room in a foreclosed house in Katonah, New York, instead of the $6.6 million house next door to Dr. Dre and Gwyneth Paltrow that he owns in Brentwood.
However, Wisconsin, and a Michigan have told him it’s too late, his name is staying on the ballot, which is good news for easily-confused anti-Semitic conspiracy theorists who are fans of measles, but bad news for Trump. Wisconsin has strict rules where the only way to get off the ballot past the deadline (which this year was August 6) is if a candidate literally dies. And in Michigan, Judge Christopher Yates told him he’s not taking RFK Jr. off the ballot based on some whim. “Elections are not just games, and the Secretary of State (SOS) is not obligated to honor the whims of candidates for public office.” But what if whims are all a guy has?
And there’s still other spoilers to contend with. Such as the Green Party’s Jill Stein. She sure smells like a Russian asset! She was boosted online by Russia in the 2016 election, has parroted Russian talking points, has met with with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, and in 2015 dined with Putin himself. She got 31,000 votes in Wisconsin, and Trump won the state by less than 23,000 votes. She’s appearing on all those 10 swing state ballots, except for Georgia and Nevada. And in Michigan she’s reportedly tied with Harris in a poll of Muslim voters.
And there’s Chase Oliver, the Libertarian. Remember how the Libertarians booed the shit out of Trump at their convention, and trolled him with rubber chickens? Oliver was the guy they ended up nominating at their edgelord party, and Oliver and Stein are both polling at about one percent in Pennsylvania. Not a lot, but with razor-thin margins, those wackos could actually make a difference. And Cornel West, he’s never polled above two percent, but he’s on the ballot in 14 states, including Wisconsin, North Carolina and Michigan.
Add up all the wackos, and they can add up! It’s wild that such an important election could be decided by such hair-thin margins, but as the Russian proverb goes, a chain is only as strong as its stupidest link.
[Carolina Journal/ Forbes/ AP]
Ta, Marcie. Bobby Jr.'s family should have him committed.
It's a veritable smorgasbord of nutball candidates that show up like cicadas every four years to "Run" for POTUS. Roadkill Bob was the new addition to this years buffet. He is actually crazier than the rest of them.