Sunday Shows: Shut Up About Gas Prices, Your Betters Still Have Their Stock Market (Mostly)

We watch so you never have to!

We are stuck with President Montgomery Burns!

While President Donald Trump was busy mildly flirting with a sweaty UFC fighter on Saturday night, Vice President JD Vance was doing his own cage match, and losing. Vance campaigned for the right-wing AfD Party in Germany (they lost), campaigned with Viktor Orban (he lost), and was the lead negotiator for the Iran peace talks (which fell apart almost immediately).

It is fresh from these failure notches on VP Reverse Midas’s favorite divan armrest that we dive into this week’s Sunday shows.

We Don’t Want The Next Stock Market Dip To Be A Mushroom Cloud?!

There is no other place to begin this week than with President Sundowning on Fox News’s Sunday Morning Futures With Maria Bartiromo.

For almost half an hour, President MAGAbicho rambled on with host Bartiromo doing her best serious poker face as he justified his “you can’t break up with me because I’m breaking up with you!” move to open the blockade of the Strait of Hormuz by having the US blockade it.

But it was when Bartiromo asked whether this would help average Americans suffering from high fuel prices that Trump revealed (for the one millionth time) his real lack of concern and focus.

TRUMP: Well, eventually it’s going to be lower. It might not happen initially, but it’s going to go down. When this is all over, look, the stock market the Dow hit 50,000. It was supposed to be in 4-5 years. They said it won’t happen during this term, but it’ll be maybe 4-5 years. It hit 50,000 in my first year, you know it better than anybody, you cover it better than anybody. The S&P hit 7,000 in my first year, you know that.

It’s nice to see that even though Pam Bondi is gone, her batshit screeching lives on in the addled mind of Donald Trump.

However, it was the next part where he tied his concerns for rich people’s stock portfolios with the Iran war he rammed us into that gave us pause.

TRUMP: And I said to myself, “ah, here we go. I’ve got to stop this country from having a nuclear weapon.”

You wanna see a stock market go down? Let a couple of nuclear bombs be dropped on us or, frankly, anywhere else. Then you’ll see a stock market that goes down.

Pretty sure if a nuclear bomb were dropped on America, or frankly, anywhere else, the stock market would be the least of our concerns. Ya know … on account of the end of human civilization due to global nuclear war, massive casualties, nuclear radiation, famine, and even a few godzillas. Being plunged into a Mad Max or Fallout hellscape would outweigh most people’s concerns about growth on their 401(k)s.

Truly, our country elected an insane narcissist, and we are all in deep shit.

We know, Whoopi!!

Trump Still Has Support From The Dumbest Senator

Meanwhile, over on ABC’s This Week, Martha Raddatz interviewed Republican Senator Ron Johnson.

Johnson, working hard to maintain his reigning dumbest senator championship, was repeating all the talking points “hits” from the GOP.

Such gems as:

• “Iran declared war on America 47 years ago.”

• “By the way, this is exactly what nationwide gun control results in. The Iranian people are completely disarmed. It's gonna be very difficult for them to rise up. So it's a very difficult situation." (Ah, yes, famous gun-free zone Iran.)

• “I know it was a tough decision for President Trump. […] It's not easy. And it could be longer-term [...] we certainly have the capability of blocking oil from the Strait of Hormuz from going to China as well. We have plenty of power in this situation, and we need to use it.” (It was so tough, Trump could only seek comfort in a UFC event in Miami, in the welcoming bosoms of Joe Rogan and Dana White.)

Martha Raddatz, not convinced, pushed back a bit. It was then that Johnson showed a total lack of history and self-awareness.

JOHNSON: You know, Martha, the — if Iran didn’t want to be attacked, if they wanted to be left alone, all they had to do was say we’re not — we’re not going to enrich uranium, we’ll allow inspectors in to make sure that we’re not doing it.

So if Iran didn’t want to be attacked, they should have made a … what would we call it … an … Iran Nuclear Deal? This “Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action” (let’s shorten that to JCPOA, shall we?) could have been a deal to, say, limit their nuclear program in exchange for (just spitballing) sanction relief? Maybe around 2015-2016? Surely, if such a deal had been in place and the Iranians were complying, only a madman would have thrown that out …

Hypothetically speaking, of course, Ron Johnson.

Truly an incurable disease for Ron Johnson.

What’s Another War Amongst Friends?

We conclude with Republican Rep. Byron Donalds on NBC’s Meet The Press. It shouldn’t be surprising that Donalds, a loyal Trump sycophant, was there to cosign his bullshit. But it’s actually Kristen Welker and NBC News who caught our attention this time.

After doing a long interview with Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canel, Welker asked the Florida congressman about it.

WELKER: You heard President Díaz-Canel say that he is willing to die for his country. Let me ask you, congressman, would you in fact support military action in Cuba if that were the way to lead to regime change?

DONALDS: I’m not going to stand and step in front of the president in any decision that he or Secretary Rubio are going to make on this front. […]

We don’t want to ignore Donalds’ non-answer/tacit endorsement of a Cuban war, but what kind of question was that?!! Often, people have written about how language is used to foment consent for atrocities, and this question is a textbook example. With Iran being a clusterfuck, it seems the news media are already trying to line up the next military conflict.

Only this time, they can maybe get some nice footage while sipping margaritas at the Florida Keys.

Have a week.

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