Trump And His Servants BEGGING Merrick Garland To Hide Special Counsel’s Report Better Than Trump Hid Stolen Documents
Must be embarrassing!
UPDATE just moments after we hit post: Judge Aileen Cannon has issued an injunction barring the Justice Department from releasing the report or any portion of it until three days after a federal appeals court rules on the issue, because she gives no shits what the law says.
Original story below!
It’s been nearly four years since a certain failed gameshow host and former/future president stole our nation’s national secrets and spirited them away to his Mar-a-Lago plastic surgery museum, and he’s more than gotten away with it.
And by “it,” we mean ALL of it! The attempted coup, the 37 counts of document stealing and obstruction, the leaving nuclear secrets in easily accessed boxes where any old Xi, Vlad, or Viktor could see them, and the showing off of military plans to impress his friends while squealing, “This is secret information!”
Even before Treasonballs was re-elected by millions of idiots, US District Judge and den mother of Eric’s Webelo troop, Aileen Cannon, dismissed the charges against Trump and his loyal servants Walt Nauta and Carlos De Oliveira, based on some rule she and Clarence Thomas made up about Special Counsels not being legal because of the Appointments Clause of the Constitution, or something. Special Counsel Jack Smith appealed this batshit decision to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, but then That Man was re-elected, and Smith and the Justice Department requested a dismissal, deciding it was not their policy to hold Trump accountable for shit any more. And Smith said he’d resign sometime before January 20, UGH.
But Special Counsels do exist, and are still required by Justice Department regulations to produce reports with their findings and charging decisions. Our taxpayer bucks paid for all that investigating, after all!
And even in the make-believe universe, Trump’s Godlike special powers would seemingly not extend to his co-defendants, Waltine Nauta and Carlos De Oliveira, his Diet Coke valet and his roach motel property manager, respectively. They’re accused of lying to the FBI and obstruction; Nauta allegedly played document keepaway from the Feds by sloppily moving bankers’ boxes of Trump’s “beautiful mind paper” from the pool room to the ballrooms to the Trump residence to his plane bound for his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery, and also demanded that hardworking Portuguese immigrant De Oliveira order somebody to delete the security footage of Nauta and others doing all that document-squirrelling around. And then suddenly, sometime after Nauta and De Oliveira got Signal messages from Susie Wiles, they decided not to cooperate with the FBI. And the appeal of Cannon’s droppage of those two’s obstruction-related charges is still ongoing.
So now Nauta and De Oliveira’s lawyers are emergency BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING Aileen Cannon to not let Jack Smith’s final report be turned over to AG Merrick Garland, so he can figure out if he wants to release it to Congress, the public, or not at all, and Trump’s lawyers are breathlessly angry-lettering to Merrick Garland lawfare prejudicial jury pool taint Special Counsels unconstitutional rogue actor improper mudslinging!
It’s far from clear that Cannon even has any authority or ability to insert herself into anything here, given how she shitcanned the case off of her docket and then probably flew off on another $1,000-a-night luxury junket at the Sage Lodge, leaving the appeals to the custody of the 11th Circuit, but, whatever.
Anyway, whatever is in Smith’s report, it must not be very flattering. Perhaps it may even have more detail on that ridiculous episode where somebody tried to delete the security footage by flooding swimming pool water all over the room that just happened to have the surveillance recordings in it? More sadness about how Trump had documents in his bedroom on the side of the bed where his wife should be? More about who might’ve dropped in and helped themselves to bankers’ boxes full of Kim Jong-Un’s love letters, Roger Stone’s unfiled pardon, and the nation’s nuclear sub secrets?
Hey, remember that time Special Counsel Robert Hur released that report where he didn’t find any corroborating evidence Biden had knowingly stored classified stuff at his house, but he concluded that he felt like Biden was really old and forgetful anyway? Yeah.
Anyway, Smith says he’s going to give Garland the report sometime after 1 p.m. today, and it could be released as early as 10 a.m. Friday, if Garland has any ‘nards or dignity left. And hopefully it will be, not that Trump will ever be held accountable for anything, but because it’s about our tax dollars and our national secrets, and we deserve to fucking know just how much we got ripped off, dammit.
We shall see!
OT: Jerb interview in 10 minutes. Yes, I’ve had many, many jerb interviews over the last few months. Wish me luck again for this one, if you’re not tired of wishing me luck. ;)
Hey Joe!
We as taxpayers paid for this report. Just release it, you have broad Presidential powers.
Never mind the irony would be delicious