Trump Challenges Nikki Haley To Pick Out Which One Is ‘Camel,' Bet She Can't
Trump can pick out camel, can Nikki Haley pick out camel?
Today is the New Hampshire primary, and when Republicans go to the polls there, they will be pulling the lever for a man who is still bragging about the dementia test he (allegedly) aced six years ago.
It is a very hard test. You have to pick out which one is “camel” on the first try (NO THREE GUESSES) and you have to say “person, woman, man, RIGGED, STOLLEN,” in that order, and you have to remember them in that order, and if you don’t remember them in that order, they shoot you behind the shed.
Trump is not made of dementia. Is Nikki Haley made of dementia? Is she ready on day one to pick out camel?
Trump does not think so. In fact, Trump said yesterday in New Hampshire that he’d like Haley to take this dementia test, so we can all see how much worse she does on it than Trump.
“Well, I think I’m a lot sharper than her. I would do this, I would sit down right now and take an aptitude test and it would be my result against her result and she’s not gonna win. She’s not gonna even come to close to winning.
“In fact, when I heard the word ‘cognitive,’ you know, I’ve taken two of them now. I took one with Doc Ronny, who’s now a fantastic, you know, White House doctor and a fantastic congressman from Texas. Admiral. The White House doctor. Jackson. Ronny Jackson. And he’s now a great congressman from Texas.”
Jackson? Ronny? The great congressman? White House? Doc Ronny? Jackson? Congressman? Texas? White House doctor? Doc Ronny? Jackson?
Do you see how his brain is always buffering like a RealPlayer video from 2003?
“I took one then and I took one recently. I think the result was announced and it was, I aced it twice. I aced it.”
Camel.
“But I would say that, you know, I’ve actually called for a cognitive test for anybody running for president because I actually think that’s a good idea. It’d be nice to have an intelligent person be president.”
It sure would.
Trump also bragged about acing the dementia test to his crowd of barely sentient hogs with voter IDs this weekend, and oh boy, listen to them cheer for their boy who can pick out “camel.” You can just imagine the MAGA parents in the audience nudging their kids, saying, “Honey, if you apply yourself, maybe that’ll be you one day, knowing which one is camel.”
We love how Trump explains away how he constantly gets confused and seems to think Barack Obama is president …
… because he is being “sarcastic.”
Then he bragged about his dementia test.
And the crowd cheered for him.
And he whined about Nikki Haley some more.
Haley has been wondering about Trump’s mental fitness, probably since forever, considering how she served as his UN ambassador, but definitely since he got confused and mixed her up with Nancy Pelosi, accusing her of failing to protect the Capitol from his terrorists on January 6. “He got confused,” she said, bless his heart.
He’s always getting confused.
Michael Tomasky has a great piece in The New Republic about all the times just lately that Donald Trump has gotten extremely confused and seemingly forgotten which one was “camel.” He shows us the video of just how many times Trump blamed Nikki Haley for January 6. It wasn’t just one blip where your grandma says all your cousins’ names before she says “WHICHEVER ONE YOU ARE!” and tells you to get your ass in here.
“By the way, they never report the crowd on January 6. You know, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley … you know they … do you know they destroyed all of the information, all of the evidence, everything, deleted and destroyed all of it? All of it! Because of lots of things. Like Nikki Haley is in charge of security. We offered her 10,000 people. Soldiers, National Guard—whatever they want. They turned it down. They don’t wanna talk about that. These are very dishonest people.”
Nikki Haley. Nikki Haley. Nikki Haley. Like Nikki Haley was in charge. And Jackson? Ronny? The great congressman? Nikki Haley. White House? Doc Ronny? Camel. Nikki Haley. Jackson? Congressman? Texas? Nikki Haley. White House doctor? Doc Ronny? Jackson? They don’t wanna talk about that. Nikki Haley?
Tomasky spends the rest of his column imagining how the media would react if, say, Joe Biden had done that or anything remotely close to it. But he hasn’t. He stutters occasionally, like a person who’s had a lifelong stutter. And yet the media is an absolute fuckup when it comes to discerning which of these things is newsworthy.
Charlie Sykes rounded up the rest of Trump’s sick/disgusting/tyrant/Hitler/dementia moments from this weekend, and they were legion. Literally calling Putin, Xi, and Kim Jong-Il “very fine people.” We guess he sees them as fondly as he sees the Charlottesville tiki torch Nazis.
And of course he’s continuing to make up racist names mocking Nikki Haley and her birth name “Nimrata.” (This is why we don’t cleverly call her “Nimrata” in the comments, commenters.) For some reason his camel-identifying brain thinks it’s clever to call her “Nimbra.”
Oh, and he mocked Biden’s stutter this weekend too.
In summary and in conclusion, Donald Trump is going to win the New Hampshire primary today, and his brain is just fine.
Nikki Haley? Ronny? Camel? Obama? Obama Netflix?
[The New Republic / Videos via The Post Millennial / Acyn]
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Methinks the yammy doth protest too much.
I have a cognitive assessment test for you: If you vote for trump you are a fucking idiot...