Trump: 'Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Great Drone Empire!'
It's an older pop culture reference, sir, but it checks out.
Yesterday, Donald Trump took reporters on a tour of the construction site for his insane, unnecessary ballroom and cool fort, which will be cooler than any other world leader’s ballroom fort anywhere. It really is the only thing he cares about in the world, since he’s grown bored with his stupid war on Iran and other dumb stuff like the economy, which is great so shut up about gas prices.
We will admit that we have not subjected ourselves to the full 45-minute video of the tour released by the White House, but it exists. We skipped around in it, though, and caught a moment where he praised himself for how well he’d read a bit of Scripture at the White House Jesus Fest over the weekend, marveling, “I did Scripture. You think it’s easy to read Scripture? It’s not easy to read Scripture! That’s a whole different ballgame! That’s not like reading a speech — ‘We will build the wall!’ — this is a whole different deal, but I did it proudly.”
He then explained why religion is good and you gotta have “strong religion” in a country, because then “you have less crime, it’s just a fact. […] It’s like, ‘Gee, I wanna go to heaven, so I’m not gonna do this or that,’ who knows?”
But we’re not here to discuss Trump’s theological insights; we’re here to discuss Trump’s vision of his cool ballroom fort, which will be able to withstand any attempt to drive him out by military force. As usual with Trump, his fantasies about the capabilities of the invulnerable ballroom military complex were scattered in with patter about the architecture and how beautiful it will be, but this clip from CBS’s Albany affiliate catches the highlights:
Showing off some new renderings of the enormous ballroom, which will be larger than the White House itself, Trump enthusiastically said the building would be a mishmash of classical styles “taken out of different parts of the world from very glamorous times,” what with a flat roof from Rome, and from Greece, “they call it the triangles.”
See? Someone was paying attention for a moment or two in his freshman-year art history survey class!
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But Trump got especially excited when talking about the military uses of the dance hall, because “on top of the roof we’re gonna have the greatest drone empire that you've ever seen, and it's gonna protect Washington.”
Trump said that the underground part of the ballroom will go six stories down, and that it would contain a full military hospital and “all sorts of research facilities,” although as Reuters points out, “Trump did not explain the focus of the research. The White House declined to provide further details.”
Probably some really neat research though, like how to remove the woke mind virus, or what happens if you mix up McDonalds’ Secret Big Mac Sauce with ivermectin and Diet Coke. When that cures cancer, Trump will probably get another Nobel Prize!
Trump was also excited about how the “drone base” on the roof would be “set up for unlimited numbers of drones,” because you know he’s been hearing a lot about drones these days, or as Trump said excitedly at one point, “drones are what’s happening right now.” They’re very hot, those drones, the hottest thing going.
“They have a massive drone capacity,” he gushed. “Not only is it drone-proof, if a drone hits it, it bounces off, it won't have any impact. But it's also meant as a drone port that would protect all of Washington.”
Trump didn’t elaborate on any scenarios that would require the use of drones over the capital city. The important thing is that the ballroom is his fort and nobody can attack it, OK?
He explained a couple of times that, in addition to the drones, the “entire roof is developed for military. They’re very high. They're higher than anything else. They have a 360-degree vision of Washington DC.”
Trump then burbled about drones a bit more, but returned to the theme of how great it is that the military will have the best possible vantage point up there:
Great Leader has given a lot of thought to how secure his bunker must be, with all sorts of “meeting rooms and rooms that go hand in hand for the military using the ballroom. And the ballroom is really a shield, and protecting all of the things that are built here.” It will all be interconnected, very complex, and apparently built to withstand a sustained siege, like in case the British come down from Canada again to burn Washington DC, or other circumstances where Trump might need to fend off enemies who are coming for him. Errmm, for America:
“It’s all knit together. Between the drone-proofing, the missile-proofing, we have, and the drone capacity upstairs, we can have all sorts of military up where they’re — I hate to use the word snipers, but we have great sniper capacity. It's built for our snipers, not the enemy's snipers, our snipers. And because of the height we get a very clear view of everything all over Washington.”
A really paranoid person might even think that Trump is already planning to hole up inside his special fort and never leave the place alive. Especially now that he’s set up a fund to reward the loyalty of cannon fodder who have already stormed the Capitol once.
But as we say, that’s crazy talk. Good thing the president isn’t a paranoid old power freak.
[Reuters / Common Dreams / Daily Mail]
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In the short clip you hear hammering. I imagine some dude standing off to the side with a hammer just hitting a piece of wood but not actually hammering anything.
Trump wanted construction sounds, hey also get me a saw, I want to hear buzzing beyond the bees in my head.
Imagine patting one's self on the back for religious fidelity as evidenced by the ability to read scripture and babbling about how religion is sooooo important in stopping crime on the SAME DAY as stealing a slush fund for your cronies. But nobody ever accused Dimwit of self-awareness.
And kudos to Dok for an amazing hed/subhead. This is why we pay Wonkette the big bucks.