Trump Way More Fun When He's Just Grifting MAGA Rubes To Buy His NFT Trading Cards
MAGA voters deserve him.
Gah, we love it when Donald Trump grifts his dumbass followers by selling them trading cards. It’s so much more fun than when he’s inciting terrorist attacks against America or trying to overthrow the Republic or stealing classified documents or promising to become a dictator or selling the country out to the Russians or being the next Hitler.
We loved the digital Superman NFT trading cards, the ones where they gave him muscles and even thinned and young-ified his old ugly disgusting face to reflect what his loser disciples inexplicably see when they look at him. He so desperately wants to be viewed as a superhero by one person in America who matters. But he never will be. So he settles for hawking trading cards to dead-end human zeroes.
There are new ones. These are focused on his mugshot. There are 47 of them because he wants to be president number 47. (They should make that his number in prison, for fun.)
He has sad fake muscles on these cards too.
But truly, he is so much more fun when he’s just conning fucking stupid people and separating his marks from their money.
Here, a video:
And now, the highlights:
0:03: Trump refers to himself as “your favorite president.”
0:10: Trump confirms these digital trading card will also be NFTs, like his previous ones, so these are for DOUBLE idiots.
0:15: “MUGSHOT EDITION. I wonder where that came from!”
0:27: Ooh! Ooh! They’re doing physical cards this time! Just one (1) though. You have to buy the 47 digital internet cards, and they will mail you one (1) card.
0:35: He says the physical card is going to contain a piece of the (?) suit he wore (?) when he got his mugshot taken?
0:48: He’s going to sign some of the physical cards.
0:55: This is a good gift for your children, or your grandchildren.
1:11: Also if you order the cards you get invited to dinner at Mar-a-Lago, like a real Nazi!
1:18: “Some people call these cards pop art, or modern art.” Sure thing.
1:25: “I wish I looked as good as I do on those cards, that I can tell you. They give me muscles where, believe me, I don’t have them.”
1:50: “We’ll all have fun together!”
LOL.
OK, that’s enough highlights. He babbles more but we’ve typed enough words.
But to be clear, this isn’t like “order set of trading cards, get a trip to Mar-a-Lago.” Or it kind of is, but you need to understand what a con this is. The cards are $99 each. That’s $99 each for the digital internet cards. And if you buy all of them, for $4,653, you get a lock of his pubes, a piece of his garment, and a dinner at Mar-a-Lago.
We assume you have to take care of the airfare and lodging on your own.
Also we were just kidding about the lock of pubes, so don’t all you MAGA grandmas and grandpas crash the site with your trading card orders!
OPEN THREAD, we have nothing more to say.
[video via Republicans Against Trump]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
I had to make my own damn birthday cupcakes this evening. With buttercream frosting that was higher % in butter because I ran out of sugar. They were pretty good, even if I couldn’t fully taste them.
Open Thread Chat Dec. 13. Bodega cat working hard. Keeping things fun.
https://substack.com/chat/1783367/post/14b9afd8-f49f-4fae-9fbf-daee2596af9b