What Do You Take Tulsi Gabbard For? Some Kind Of Quote-Unquote 'Director' Of 'National Intelligence'?
Fucking dumb, full of shit, and/or incredibly afraid of offending her big boss in the White House and/or Kremlin.
It says a lot when you’re testifying in a hearing alongside Kash Patel and you’re the one who gets the headlines for being an embarrassing fuckup.
But if we’ve learned anything about Russia’s girlfriend Tulsi Gabbard this year, it’s that Russia likes its girlfriends and boyfriends very stupid.
Gabbard spent the day in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee on Wednesday — here’s a link to the whole thing! — but she really didn’t know what to say about a whole lot of things. Or she was scared to speak freely, so she just blib-blabbed whatever contradictory words fell out of her mouth. It was a cool showing for the Director of National Intelligence.
For instance, does allegedly anti-war Tulsi — LMAO — believe in Donald Trump’s chosen murder war in Iran? Let’s watch her crumble in confusion under questioning by dashing Georgia Senator and guy who’s smarter than the DNI Jon Ossoff!
Oh man, what was your favorite part of THAT?
Ossoff explained Gabbard’s job to her, that she was the person who provides national intelligence to all kinds of people, who bring’s the “IC’s assessment of threats” to people, including the president.
Yes, she agreed.
He explained to Gabbard that her own opening statement said that last summer Donald Trump’s Iranian strikes TOTALLY OBLITERATED the country’s nuclear enrichment capabilities. Yes?
Yes, she agreed. Totally obliterated.
He explained to Gabbard that Gabbard had explained in her opening statement that Iran hadn’t tried to reconstitute its nuclear enrichment capabilities. Yes?
Yes.
And that is the assessment of the intelligence community?
Yes.
He explained to Gabbard that Donald Trump (her boss) announced in March that he attacked Iran in order to save us all from the “imminent nuclear threat” posed by that country. HEEEEENNNNGH?
Heeeeeennnnnngh, she agreed.
Was it the assessment of the IC that there was an “imminent nuclear threat” from the Iranian regime?
Uhhhhh, well, the IC assessed that they totally still wanted to do nuclear stuff sometime.
Was it the assessment of the IC that there was an “imminent nuclear threat”?
Tulsi climbed Dumbfuck Mountain and planted a flag:
Gabbard said, “Senator, the only person who can determine what is and is not an imminent threat is the president …”
“FALSE,” explained Jon Ossoff to the director of national intelligence in front of him.
“This is the Worldwide Threats Hearing,” Ossoff explained, in case she hadn’t seen the sign on the door of the hearing she was the star witness of. “Where you present to Congress national intelligence, timely, objective and independent of political considerations. You’ve stated today that the intelligence community’s assessment is that Iran’s nuclear enrichment program was ‘obliterated,’ and that ‘there had been no efforts since then’ to try to rebuild their enrichment capability. Was it the intelligence community’s assessment that, nevertheless, despite this obliteration, there was an ‘imminent nuclear threat’ posed by the Iranian regime?”
“It is not the intelligence community’s responsibility to determine what is and is not an imminent threat,” responded Gabbard.
Yes it is, dipshit, Jon Ossoff calmly clarified.
Tulsi ain’t know!
And that was yesterday’s hearing in a nutshell.
Gabbard, who came into the job not knowing what in the entire fuck Directors of National Intelligence do all day, has been walking on eggshells ever since her top deputy Joe Kent loudly resigned in protest of this stupid war. Of course, that guy pals around with white supremacists and antisemites, so you absolutely do not have to give him credit for being technically correct about the Iran war.
Case in point: Kent resigned and then immediately ran off to Tucker Carlson to gossip about it. Tucker Carlson is another person who has been saying a few sensible things about the stupidity of this war, whom you also don’t have to give any credit to, because fuck him.
Kent did tell Tucker, though, that “there was no intelligence that said” Iran was going to attack us if Trump didn’t attack first. And you’d think he might have known, since he was Trump’s director of counterterrorism. Which is funny because after he quit, Trump told reporters of Kent that “I always thought he was a nice guy, but I always thought he was weak on security.” That’s right, he’s talking about the man he chose to lead the National Counterterrorism Center. He always thought that guy was weak on security. Always thought that. Always.
(Notably, last night, the Trump regime apparently started leaking that Kent is under FBI investigation for allegedly himself leaking classified information. Legit? Who knows. A message to anybody else who might decide to step out of line? Oh definitely.)
After Kent’s resignation, but before the Worldwide Threats Hearing, Gabbard blib-blabbed the below statement on Twitter. Read carefully and note all the times she, the director of national intelligence, affirmatively agrees with her dementia-brained boss:
Did you count zero? We counted zero.
But how could Tulsi know any better? It’s not like she’s some kind of director of national intelligence, oh wait that is her title.
Next up is the part of the hearing where Virginia Senator Mark Warner noted that Gabbard had written in her statement that Iran’s nuclear program had been TOTALLY OBLITERATED. But how strange it was, he thought, that she neglected to read that part out loud yesterday morning. Was that because it totally contradicts all Trump’s statements for why we’re at war now?
Haha no, of course not, LOLOL, Mark Warner, what a goose! Gabbard said she simply didn’t read that part because it was getting late, that morning, at the beginning of the hearing!
“You chose to omit the parts that contradict the president,” Warner corrected her. Because she’s clearly scared to say out loud in front of the whole class that Donald Trump is a senile full-of-shit liar.
Or maybe it really was getting late! Tulsi ain’t know! What is she, some kind of director of what time it is?
Here is Senator Mark Kelly, asking Gabbard about the recent fundraising email from Trump’s PAC, where they used an image of Trump attending the dignified transfer of US servicemembers he got murdered with his stupid war, and which promised his followers that, in exchange for their money, he would give them super top secret national security briefings.
“Do you believe supporters of the president should be able to pay and receive his private national security briefings?” asked Kelly. (Isn’t that kind of, um, selling state secrets, albeit to stupid inbred syphilitic MAGA cow people? And will those national security briefings be scratch ‘n’ sniffs and drawn inside lady boobies like his private messages to Jeffrey Epstein? Sorry, Wonkette also has questions, like a common Mark Kelly.)
Did Tulsi Gabbard, the director of national intelligence, have any comment on Donald Trump’s people offering his followers his private intelligence briefings, in exchange for their cash?
“I’m not familiar with that document,” Gabbard said.
Tulsi ain’t know!
And what about that Fulton County raid, where Tulsi hid in the bushes like some kind of Inspector Gadget superspy while the FBI hunted Atlanta election warehouses for evidence that Venezuela had used a curling iron and an Italian thermostat to Jewish Space Laser the election in Joe Biden’s favor?
Indeed, Director Gabbard, why were you there?
Trump originally lied and said Pam Bondi had demanded her presence. Deputy AG Todd Blanche lied and said she just “happened” to be in Atlanta.
And now here is Gabbard yesterday confirming that Trump had requested she be there, and she was needed there to oversee the FBI and say thank you to them.
Uhhhhhhhh, doy doy doy TULSI AIN’T KNOW.
What an absolute fuckup.
The director of national intelligence, ladies and gentlemen.
One of the many reasons we are fucking doomed.
Tulsi and Kash are in the House today if you want to subject yourself to that, already in progress!
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"Tulsi climbed Dumbfuck Mountain and planted a flag."
Once again, EVAN NAILS IT!
Can I say something completely Off Topic? You know I'm gonna anyway. With the world in the condition it's in and my mental health being ever so delicate may I just say you Wonks have me smiling and there's even been a few chuckles this morning. Without you I would be under a blanket with a big bowl of whatever is bad for me blubbering incoherently. I'm completely serious. Thank you.