Which Wall Street Banks Loved Pedo Jeffrey Epstein As Much As His BFF Trump Loved Him? These Did!
The House and WSJ are finding out!

Pour a cup of tea, the Wall Street Journal’s got more Epstein File drip drips!
Looks like they’re still putting out BORING Epstein stories, in spite of how President Donald J. Trump is currently suing Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal and parent company Dow Jones for TEN BEELYON DOLLARS over the paper publishing a report on that Epstein 50th birthday tribute book, in which Trump rhapsodized about their wonderful shared secrets and doodled a lady’s limbless torso with his signature as pubes. But the world’s most vindictive president seems strangely inclined to forgive and forget when it comes to Rupert. Two weeks ago Trump even got him invited to his schmancy state dinner with King Charles and the royals.
Which surely chafed their bums! The Royal Editor of Murdoch’s UK tabloid the Sun admitted in January to hacking phones and voicemail accounts and even bugging members of the royal family and others, including Diana, William, Harry, and Kate, for at least 15 years. Awkward. And after that dinner, we learned Murdoch is even fixing to get his scone buttered with a seat in the forthcoming Trump takeover of TikTok, too!
But there the royals were, obliged to welcome the tabloid propagandist snoop and his vulgar gameshow host buttbaby, for the sake of Europe and Country.
Though in case you’d also been wondering, it wasn’t Murdoch’s paper that put out the infamous tape of a wiretap of then-Prince Charles moaning about wanting to be his then-mistress Camilla’s reincarnated knickers and Tampax. That was Murdoch’s rivals at the Sunday Daily Mirror, which at the time was owned by Ghislaine Maxwell’s father, Robert.
It’s a small cabal after all! That nonagenarian Rupert has decades of experience exploiting palace whispers, his son and heir Lachlan learning at his knee. And a Murdoch doesn’t cower, not even at the wrath of royals or Hugh Grant. They are not about to let some reality-show youngster like Trump boss them around. And Murdoch, like everybody else in the world, knows Epstein is Trump’s biggest weakness. As a lifelong professional secret-broker, he surely knows more than Mata Hari. And palace whispers are how things get done in an authoritarian state! They need each other. It’s a geezer squeezer.
Where were we? Oh yeah, new Epstein toots from the Murdoch didgeridoo, but these are not about Trump, instead Wall Street ties that bind and gag! Epstein’s estate has turned over to Congress a list of more than 20 banks that held accounts for Epstein and entities related to him, and details have been leaked to the WSJ’s Khadeeja Safdar. And the House Oversight Committee says they’re going to be issuing subpoenas to the banks too, so we might find out who else was paying and getting paid in Epstein’s orbit. Sure, the DOJ has vowed to not prosecute anybody for Epstein Files that do not exist and were planted by Biden who also refused to release them. But as the regime knows, naming and shaming can be a powerful force, and serve as a warning to others who might try to cover up secrets.
Some of the ties we knew, like you may recall from a few updates ago the New York Times did a deep dive on how JPMorgan Chase kept Epstein on as a client with the approval of CEO Jamie Dimon, years after Epstein pleaded guilty in 2008 to solicitation of prostitution and procurement of minors for prostitution.
JPMorgan Chase even assigned Epstein his own personal banker, Jes Staley, who later became chief executive of Barclays, until he was shitcanned and then banned from bank-management roles for his Epstein ties. And Staley was a VERY personal banker. He gushed in more than a thousand emails about visiting Epstein on his island, and about meeting “Snow White” at Epstein’s sex ranch in New Mexico, and wanting to play “Beauty and the Beast” the next time, hork. And Staley even introduced Epstein to his own college-age daughter so Epstein could help her make job connections in the science world, and used Epstein’s friendship with his daughter to help keep up his own personal connection to Epstein. Staley’s daughter even came to call Epstein “Uncle Jeffrey,” and invited him to her college graduation.
And JPMG let Epstein do loads of suspicious cash transactions with teenage girls and young women for years, sometimes opening accounts without even a last name or Social Security number, blithely ignoring the flapping sex-trafficking flags and tee-heeing to each other that he was a “SUGAR DADDY!!” until the bank finally closed Epstein’s accounts in 2013.
Deutsche Bank, too, kept Epstein on as a client all the way until 2018. Both banks were sued by Epstein victims, and scrutinized by regulators, and in 2023 JPMorgan Chase paid a $290 million settlement, and Deutsche Bank paid $75 million.
But that was not the end of the story for Epstein’s many moneys. He also had accounts at Wells Fargo, TD Bank, and FirstBank Puerto Rico, which says he was a legacy relationship from when the bank purchased Chase banking operations in the US Virgin Islands in 2002.
And between 2016 and March 2019, Epstein moved at least $60 million into Honeycomb Partners, an investment fund run by David Fiszel, “who was a star portfolio manager at Steve Cohen’s Point72 hedge fund before he left in 2015,” the WSJ tells us, as if we should already know who that guy is. Maybe we should, him and all of these shady hedge fund brosephs. In 2017 there was a whole book about Cohen, titled Black Edge: Inside Information, Dirty Money, and the Quest to Bring Down the Most Wanted Man on Wall Street. Spoiler, they didn’t.
Anyway, Honeycomb lawyers say nobody at the company ever knew or had a “personal or professional” relationship with Epstein. To us poors that may seem like a lot of clams to hand over between people with no connection, but maybe that’s just how the billionaires do! Also is it normal for hedge funds to just up and hand all of their clients back $552 million of their money after years of positive performance, like Honeycomb and Fiszel just abruptly did last month, claiming vibes?
Anyway, Epstein also got $13.5 million from an investment in a hedge fund run by one Paul Tudor Jones, but likewise Tudor Investments say neither Jones nor anyone at the company ever had a relationship with Epstein.
And Epstein sold $15 million worth of private company shares to crypto investor Blockchain Capital, founded by one Brock Pierce, child star turned entrepreneur and chair of the Bitcoin Foundation, to invest in crypto tokens. And a spokesman for Blockchain said three of its funds purchased stakes in private companies from Epstein in 2018. Oh hey, what do you know, Pierce was also in business starting in the mid-2000s with former Trump chief strategist / undead chunk of Spam Steve Bannon, who also stayed close to Epstein. Did Bannon ever regale Trump with Epstein’s vivid recollections of their times together? Bannon, of course, has no comment on any of it.
In 2019 the Hollywood Reporter ran a story, “The Strange Saga of Jeffrey Epstein’s Link to a Child Star Turned Cryptocurrency Mogul: How Brock Pierce ended up as a Jeffrey Epstein guest along with a NASA computer engineer, an MIT professor of electrical engineering and a Nobel laureate in theoretical physics is bizarre tale involving Steve Bannon and an international man of mystery who may or may not be dead,” go read the whole thing yourself at the link, trigger alert!
Also investing for the middle-aged man who openly traveled with an entourage of obviously young teenage girls, Boothbay funds, which was founded in 2011 and run by investor Ari Glass, another Queens guy. Epstein transferred about $38 million into Boothbay funds between 2014 and 2017, then in 2017 got $10 million from one of them. Boothbay also says nobody had no relationship with Epstein nohow, nuh uh, other than the small matter of Epstein’s limited partner interest, which they withdrew after he was arrested for the second time in 2019.
And strap on your tinfoil hats, Epstein got $25 million from the Rothschild banking family for a banking consulting contract in 2015, something that had already been reported. Why are MAGA cultists still so fascinated by Donald Trump’s forbidden Epstein Files cabinet of mystery??
And there’s an investment with Peter Thiel’s venture capital firm Valar Ventures. We already knew that Great Epstein’s Ghost still holds a stake in it, which is now worth $170 million. Thiel claims to have met Epstein only once, in 2014, though the last Epstein Files trickle showed him on Epstein’s calendar for a lunch in 2017.
And there are tens of millions of dollars in transfers from private-equity billionaire Leon Black, who was also well known as a Lolita Express frequent flier; Black claimed he paid Epstein for estate planning and tax advice. And in 2021, a law firm hired by the Apollo Global Management board found Black had paid Epstein $158 million for work performed from 2012 to 2017. That’s a lot of advice!
And some other people Epstein made brow-raising and mysterious payments to:
On July 18, 2017, Dubai businessman Sultan Ahmed Bin Sulayem paid Epstein $6,200, and then a day later, Epstein paid Bin Sulayem back the same amount. Bin Sulayem for sure has got no comment as to why! He’s the longtime chief executive of DP World, an international ports operator, and he was also scheduled to visit Epstein’s townhouse between 2011 and 2014. Whatever in the international-ports monkeybusiness might that have been about?
And Epstein paid Joi Ito, the former MIT Media Lab director, about $1 million in 2014 and 2015 and then almost $500,000 in 2015, the documents show. In April 2015, Epstein also sent $1 million to Neoteny 3, an investment fund Ito created that year. Ito previously resigned, apologized, and said he would return or donate any dirty money.
And in 2014, Epstein paid $1,232.25 to former president of Harvard/Obama Treasury Secretary Larry Summers’s company, LH Summers Economic Consulting. Strangely cheap, for consulting. Epstein is long known to have donated millions to Harvard while Summers was president, met with him repeatedly, and enjoyed dropping his name.
And of course no Epstein list is complete without THE DERSH! From 2003 to 2013, Epstein paid 46 law firms and litigation-related entities, but at the top was his BFF and defense lawyer Dershowitz, who got $4 million. Sounds like that prize pig was worth it!
Having invested money with Epstein or getting investments from Epstein of course in no way means that any of the people involved were aware of all that child rape, much less involved themselves. Banks and investors exist to make money, and as long as Epstein was bringing it in, and rich clients from the circles he ran in, the banks were satisfied and incentivized to not ask too many questions, and to do whatever it took to land big clients. But let it be a warning to other creeps and their enablers, though Trump seemingly intends to let everybody get away with anything: Eyes and ears are everywhere. And a wonderful secret between more than two people or transmitted electronically may not stay a secret forever!
Is there more naming and shaming to be squeezed from these files yet? Stay tuned, drip drip!
Weird “gaffe,” Ted Cruz.
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Need another shower after reading this article.
OMG though that Cancun Cruz clip. What the actual fuck?!!
If he were a Democrat saying something like that his resignation would be tendered by the close of business today. But Murc's Law allows all this shit.
I think I need to apologize to all those RWNJs who swore there was a pedo cabal of wealthy child sex traffickers.
Wait, what?