Wonkette news of today: Sorry to all the dead rich people who won't get buried on the moon!

Hello hello welcome to the weekend! Do you need 12 posts to read? Have I got a deal for you!

We did some morning news!

This Type Of Food Poisoning Will Make You Wish You Were Dead! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 19, 2024

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Sorry To All The Dead Rich People Who Won't Get Buried On The Moon!

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But I thought we have to let cops do bad things because otherwise we can’t expect that they’ll protect us.

Justice Department Uvalde Report Every Bit As Grim As You'd Expect.

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Evan would like his Pulitzer now please.

Is Charlie Kirk The COLOSSAL MAN Of Quitting Masturbating With Mike Johnson's Fave No-Porning Software?

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Republican House crazies are piiiiisssssed.

Spending Groundhog Sees Shadow, So Six More Weeks Of Government Being Open!

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No Labels lost its miiiiiiind.

No Labels Saw A RICO In The Woodshed, Demands DOJ Make People Start Liking No Labels

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Republican state AGs REALLY don’t want to let abortion referenda on the ballot.

New York Times Notices That Overturning Roe Didn't Stop People From Needing Abortions

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Liz explained to you what is even going on with Fani Willis. It’s not great!

We Need To Talk About Fani

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Well, bye.

Bumbling Ron DeSantis Campaign Enters Terminal 'Finger-Pointing' Blame-Gaming Stage

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And if they get caught they should at least be sorry!

No One Needs To Lie About Fentanyl To Make It Seem More Bad, It's Already Bad

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Brought you some climate change nice time in your climate change roundup!

The Transition To Renewable Energy Is Speeding Up. Faster, Pussycat, Build! Build!

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Looks like I have to send Shy to the liquor store for these two liquors, because this cocktail sounds GREAT.

Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Carajillo!

Come see us over the weekend for whatever we’re covering! Byeee!