You Are Not Ready For Trump And Iran And Whatever The F*ck THIS Was
It's gonna explode any minute now!
With President Donald John Trump getting shot at from a floor away, Epstein Files, immolating value of the dollar, and the rest of his never-ending litany of failures, did you forget all about the peace he is making in the operation that may or may not be a war? How’s that going?
Oh, how to measure the failures of the US and Israel’s Joint Operation Epic Furiously Sundowning Seniors! What does Trump even want, now, today? Before he kicked off all that ruthlessly blasting civilians to bits on February 28 with a girls’ school, he said he wanted Iran to go back to sticking to the rules of the nuclear non-proliferation treaty that President Barack Obama had secured, which Trump then himself ripped up in 2018. A goal he bragged he’d easily achieve in 10 days, back in the middle of February! Womp. Then on April Fool’s Day he said it was going to be a “precise” six weeks.
Then he said he wanted all of their uranium, and for Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz so the US could bomb more easily and keep mainlining cheap gas, and maybe also for Iran and Oman to re-name the waterway the Strait of Trump and collect a toll for safe passage, ha ha, unless you’re going to do it! And then on Sunday he also called into Jacqui Heinrich on Fox’s Sunday Briefing show to assert that Iran is almost defeated, and that proves how the government needs its secret courts to spy on everybody, because James Comey used secret courts to spy on him. More of that whole mess is at the bottom, because you aren’t ready for it yet.
Shall we measure by innocent human suffering, like some kind of busybody Pope? Since February 28, nearly 9,000 people including at least 13 US soldiers have been killed, and more than 44,000 people have been injured, including about 9,000 US and Israeli service-people. Would it be crass to also mention the skyrocketing fuel prices, leading to shortages of every kind of thing all over the world like a funtimes optional pandemic we chose to do, on purpose? What’s more, that War Powers Act 60-day deadline for Trump either starting to draw the operation down or ask Congress for permission to keep it going is … tomorrow, and the likes of Rep. Mike Lawler and Sen. John Curtis of Utah also both said in early April that lawmakers should intervene and assert their authority to make DJT quit if the conflict extends past 60 to 90 days.
Around April 7, Pakistan helped broker a fragile ceasefire, as in convincing Trump to quit attempting to destroy their entire civilization so very hotly, and some Iranian firing-on-ships has kept the Strait at a stalemate on both sides since. Though Israel has kept on attacking Lebanon, including civilians and infrastructure, seemingly aspiring to acquire enough new territory to control a potential offshore gas field, convenient!
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So now it seems Trump’s plan is to pull the Vlad: Dig in and just wait until Iran explodes on its own and the operation attempts to extract real estate concessions. Plans for frameworks of a deal were in place last week, then Trump twice yanked out at the last minute!
First, JD Vance was supposed to go to Islamabad for talks with the Iranian foreign minister Abbas Araghchi to work his charm like he did with the people of Hungary, but then he cancelled at the last minute. And then negotiations were supposed to happen last weekend but with Araghchi sitting down with Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner, and then again right before the plane was set to depart, Trump called off that flight too. Araghchi said on Saturday that he had shared with Pakistani officials his homework of Iran’s position on a “workable framework to permanently end the war on Iran.” But no other plans for a framework of a deal have surfaced since! Was that enough drawdown noises for congressional Republican toadies worried about midterms and a war-operation that about 60 percent of voters say is “wrong” and they “disapprove” of?
You might think Trump and his cronies would prefer people forget about the Iranian lead-footed square-dance of failure, but seems his decaying brain and political and legal reality just won’t let him.
Fox’s Sunday Briefing, What Even
Strangely a full video of Trump’s interview on Sunday morning seems to only appear on the Internet archive, but maybe we are bad at Google. Or maybe because it was BAT. SHIT. Just attempting to get an edit-able edition of the pertinent parts of the archived transcript, even broken-down parts of the 14-minute-long volume of verbiage broke Google images, which found the mass too large to cache and paste and instead insisted on attempting to summarize.
What a labor-saving miracle is AI! Then, finally, after we got his words in print by Zooming and pasting in the most insane parts, which was all of it, we still wound up with seven single-spaced pages.
Anyway, following his recounting of the heroic tale of how he nearly died to death at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner the night before, and how everyone in the room unified and said “hello” and “way to go” to him, Trump brought up Iran by way of James Comey, FISA warrants and how it’s crucial to freedom and democracy to let the government secretly spy on everyone, for privacy:
“[The] military really needs [FISA court orders] and it’s really needed for national security. There’s a division, but I was willing to give that up because, again, it was used against me more than anybody else. And by bad people, by sick people also. Comey was terrible, he was a terrible, sick American. He had a little problem. And I used the word to describe, he was a dirty cop. Bad guy. And there were other bad guys, they used FISA illegally. They used it for a purpose that it wasn’t supposed to be used for. Okay. Well, the other side, they had the military. General Raisin Cain [that’s what the transcript calls him, so, LEAVING IT], look at the success we had in Venezuela, look at the success we’re having with Iran. I mean, Iran is decimated, and we got a lot of information by losing – using FISA. It made the job a lot safer and easier.”
Lot of information, huh? Like the 165 civilians killed in the bombing of a girls elementary school that had been in the same place since 2013, yet somehow got targeted by “Smart” missiles double-tap twice, by some faceless shooter safely working a joystick far, far away? Also, Iran is not decimated, check your sources, and Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth, and Israel all say they’re still trying to figure out how such an oops, or “oops,” could have happened.
Then at around the 8:20 a.m. mark, and for the next 14 minutes, he circled back around to Iran. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon, so he will keep doing war! But first, let him tell you and Fox News fans what he doesn’t care about. The Gas and The Groceries. Yes, he knows what he did to your wallet last summer, and then again in February, and he’d do it again!
“[I] took the greatest economy we’ve ever had, and I said, we’re going to have to take a little detour and stop that from happening. And that’s what happened. It’ll come to an end very soon, and we’re going to be very victorious. So when you do that, no other president was willing to do that.”
Incredible willingness to sacrifice the world economy in order to bomb schoolgirls, sir! Brilliant move, so what next? Not The Kush tush, the Vance pants or the Steve Witkoff situation being cruelly confined in a luxury airplane, he can tell you that much.
JACQUI: Where do those negotiations stand right now on Iran?
DONALD JOHN TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Well, I called them back, our people. The flight is about 17 hours. We have great respect for the Field Marshal of Pakistan and for the Prime Minister of Pakistan. They’re great people. They’re really good. But, you know, it’s a 17-, 18-hour flight.
I said when is this meeting taking place, and it was going to be on Tuesday and it was Saturday. They’re leaving, you know, and by the, the time they get there it’s hours and hours and hours of flying, and I said we’re not doing this anymore. We have all the cards. If they want the talk, they can come to us or they can call us.
OY GOTT IM HIMMEL him with his fucking CARDS again! The same ones he used to end the war in Ukraine within 48 hours? Oh well, at least he used his leverage to get Zelenskyy to upgrade his look from athleisure, and now everybody can better see how racked he is.
DJT, POTUS, continuing: You know, this is a telephone. We have nice secure lines although I’m not sure any telephone line is secure, frankly.
Fact check true, he was speaking over a telephone, and calling in live to Fox News is not a secure line. There’s that WAR intelligence and CLEAN ON OPSEC we’ve heard so much about!
DJT: We have secure lines, and if they like, we’re not sending people to travel 18 hours to, literally, think of this, we a had a meeting for Tuesday and it was on Saturday that I was saying when are we meeting? Tuesday. So great respect for Pakistan …
Yadda yadda, he has now decided he prefers negotiations to be done via a device known as a telephone, which may or may not be secure. After more of the same, Jacqui tried to prod him to sell the benefits of his, er, “strategy” of boats of thousands of servicepeople sitting and mostly watching a blockade between the Gulf of Oman and Persian Gulf, playing fiddlesticks and eating sad food (if any) while waiting for Iran to go defeat itself.
JACQUI: Can you talk about the advantage [infighting between Iranian factions] gives the US in terms of waiting this out and how time is on the US side of this negotiation?
TRUMP: Well, I don’t know if it’s an advantage.
No swing and a strike! Instead Trump went on to assert/hallucinate “we’ve taken out their navy,” also all of their whole Air Force, all their factories, at least 75 percent of the whole place blown up, though that is a different number than a hundred, but drone production down 82 percent, and the blockade has been incredibly effective, because now they can’t get any more oil money. And the leaders he is dealing with right now are much less radical than the ones before, super reasonable.
Uh huh. Does he think Iran is a space-port connected to the world by a chute or something? Please, Trump, explain how this strategy works!
Warning, you are not ready.
“When you have lines of oil, through your system, if for any reason that line is closed because you can’t continue to put it into containers or ships which has happened to them, what happens is that line explodes from within. Both mechanically and in the earth. Something happens where it just explodes, and they say they only have about three days left before that happens. And when it explodes, you can never rebuild it the way it was. In other words, it will always be — if you rebuild it, it’s hard to rebuild it all, but it would only be about 50 percent of what it is right now. So it’s a very powerful thing that takes place. sort of having to do with nature. When that gets clogged at the end, in other words, you have to turn it off because you have no place to store this oil, either put it on ships or storage plants which they are just about finished with, an already bad thing’s going to happen.”
There you have it, the stalemate at the Strait will end in one giant bukkake, following the world’s largest case of blue balls. It’s just science, Jacqui.
“So I think they’re under pressure, but I think the big pressure is we’ve really, militarily, our military is incredible. I will rebuild our military. We’re asking for is — $1.2 is and $1.5 trillion. We have the greatest military in the world, so we’ll see what happens. I hope they’re going to be smart. And if they’re not smart, we’re to going to win anyway. Yeah Jacqui, so three days from now approximately their oil production system could explode. Obviously, that would be a great challenge to the main source of revenue and have a big impact on the trajectory of things.”
That problem solved, he went on to praise King Charles, then crap on NATO some more for not running to support his war-operation.
“As far as NATO, I am very, very disappointed in NATO because they weren’t there. You know, we spend trillions of dollars on NATO in order to protect Europe from Russia. And we’ve always been there, and we would always be there.”
Except for like, when he hasn’t been there and tried to sell parts of Ukraine to Russia over a meal of halibut in mayonnaise sauce, then stripped Ukraine’s funding.
TRUMP: They [Ukraine and Europe] can’t do it without us.
Yet here they are!
TRUMP: And yet when we wanted a little help, and we did it without any help. We didn’t really need it. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but I really sort of asked them just out of curiosity because I’d like to see if they would be there. You know, we’ve wiped out, largely wiped out the opposition. If we ever had to keep going, we’d wipe them out very quickly, the rest of it, the remainder. And I hope we don’t have to do that, but it may be possible that we do. He was no cohesion.
You are the no cohesion!
TRUMP: Leadership is very strange. [laughter] sometimes you don’t have any idea who the hell you’re dealing with.
Ain’t that the truth.
TRUMP: But it’s just, you know, one of these things that we’re going to get it, we’re going to win. But NATO was not there for us. And I would ask, would you like to join us? And they said, sir, we don’t want to get involved. Yeah, they said we don’t want to get involved. and, frankly, went think said we tonight want to get involved, UK said, oh, no, we’ll send ships as soon as the war is over. That’s not good. We just can’t have that. So we are not happy. Let me put it way, we are not happy with NATO. NATO did not serve us well. We’ve been serving them for many years spending trillions of dollars, and when we wanted a little help, they were not there. I settled eight wars. This is one that I thought I would have had easiest time.
WELP, life is often cruel and disappointing.
TRUMP: Hate is a bad thing. Hate is a bad thing when you’re trying to settle something. It’ll happen, it’ll happen.
Let it be, les petites boules…
JACQUI: What was the last conferring you had with Putin?
TRUMP: Well, I don’t want to reveal that, but I do have conversations with him, and I do have conversations with President Zelenskyy. [...] I settled these wars, including India-Pakistan. That could have been a nuclear war. I settled it at the very beginning the prime minister of Pakistan said I saved from 30-50 million lives, it could have been more than that. [...] We’re working on the Russia situation and Ukraine, and hopefully, we’re going to get it.
In conclusion, hope, change, hang out and wait for Israel to take over Lebanon, we guess, and for Iran to explode. Get it? Got it? Good! Now we are all clear!
[New York Times / Fox Sunday Briefing clip and transcript]
But Biden is old and senile, right?
I started reading this post, but stopped reading it, and skipped to the non-comments, because I trust Marcie when she says that I'm not ready for Dipshit's BS.