You'll Never Guess Why MAGA Is Sh*tting Its Pants Over 'Superman' (Yes You Will)
Well first of all, the movie is about kindness.
There is a new Superman movie, and with it, a new Superman, an actor named David Corenswet. (Henry Cavill aged out of the system.) The movie comes out July 11, and as so often happens when there is a Pop Culture Moment, or when the alert goes off that someone somewhere might be having fun or enjoying something, MAGA and Fox News are losing their shit getting ready to boycott it.
For why? For woke.
It got started when director James Gunn decided to make Superman political FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
That’s right, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
Except for that time Superman beat the shit out of the Klan, which you’d think would have turned MAGA off to the franchise permanently.
Also Superman has just kind of always been woke ever since the fucking beginning, which anybody who has actually read it would know, but …
But other than that! MAGA is not known for being a bright movement full of people who actually make America great again, nor are they really known for understanding the things they watch and/or listen to, they’re kind of useless inbred dumbfucks, so anyway, that’s why they’re raging now.
James Gunn said in a recent interview with the Times of London:
“I mean, Superman is the story of America,” Gunn says. “An immigrant that came from other places and populated the country, but for me it is mostly a story that says basic human kindness is a value and is something we have lost.” I ask if he has considered how differently the film might play in say, blue state New York — aka Metropolis — and Kansas, where Kent grew up? “Yes, it plays differently,” Gunn admits. “But it’s about human kindness and obviously there will be jerks out there who are just not kind and will take it as offensive just because it is about kindness. But screw them.”
Uh oh, now ya done it.
If Superman is the story of America and he is an immigrant then that must mean the enemies are people like that simpering cumstain Tom Homan and ICE Nazi Barbie Kristi Noem and those little bitch losers who invaded MacArthur Park in LA yesterday. And here is the director of Superman saying “screw them.”
Worst of all, he said this movie is about “kindness,” which is well known to be a radioactive material from a far away planet that automatically destroys MAGA Nazis.
The Times of London notes that Superman has a long history of specifically supporting refugees, with DC Comics in the past decade supporting World Refugee Day and saying, “The Man of Steel’s story is the ultimate example of a refugee who makes his new home better.”
So of course Laura Ingraham — the mother of three adopted immigrant children we hope she treats better than the monster-under-the-bed character she plays on Fox News — responded by saying that the new Superman is “another film we won’t be seeing.”
Clay Travis, who runs the OutKick website that you’d think is a gay sports website but somehow is just about mouthbreathing MAGA and their sensitive feelings about sports, said:
He seems upset.
Of course, when he says “America” is “desperate for apolitical entertainment,” what he means is that white supremacist/Nazi MAGA is triggered by constant reminders from the culture that we, you know, fucking hate Nazis and white supremacists. Normal people of all backgrounds can indeed enjoy a movie about kindness. They can even enjoy a superhero movie about not being Hitler to immigrants.
But when your political movement is built around sucking New Hitler’s cock and posing for pictures next to his first domestic concentration camp like it’s the world’s biggest ball of twine, well.
One wingnut piece of shit who’s popular on Twitter referred to Gunn’s comments as “hating the American people.” Jesse Kelly, whichever interchangeable white one he is, said this:
James Gunn said Superman is the “story of America.” Jesse Kelly says that’s being a “communist.”
‘Kay.
As is so often the case, Jesse Watters on Fox News had one of the weirdest and most antisocial reactions to the controversy they’re manufacturing.
On “The Five” yesterday — because of course they were talking about this — Kellyanne Conway complain-splained that David Corenswet, the new Superman actor, “found himself unable to say Superman's slogan — ‘fighting for truth, justice and the American way.’ He said, ‘truth, justice and all of those good things.’ He refused to say ‘the American way’ and he's playing Superman.” So that’s a good try looking for something to criticize. Then she bellyached about people sitting during “God Bless America” at the Yankees game.
In response, Watters chimed in: “You know what it says on his cape? MS-13.”
OK, Jesse. Guess it’s unlike Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s knuckles in that way.
Bless all these people’s black, diseased hearts.
James Gunn has already responded to all this, yesterday at the Superman premiere, reiterating that “I think this movie is about kindness, which everyone can relate to.” (Again, not everyone.)
His brother Sean Gunn, who is in the movie, really went for it, in comments to Variety:
“We support our people, you know? We love our immigrants. Yes, Superman is an immigrant and yes, the people that we support in this country are immigrants and if you don’t like that, then you’re not American.
“People who say no to immigrants are against the American way.”
In other words, go fuck yourself and stay home and find more ways to remove yourself from society and from ever venturing out into public, MAGA. Nobody who is worth anything will miss you.
Anyway, here’s the trailer:
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***MAGA truck going down the road with right wing decals all over it, right wing bumper stickers all over it, huge Trump flag on the back***
MAGA: Why do you shitlibs have to make everything so political???
These people look for things to get pissed off about.
Remember when Limbaugh got all bent out of shape because there was a Batman movie with a villain called Bane? And Romney's private equity firm was called Bain? It's obviously a political statement! Never mind that "bane" is a perfectly cromulent word meaning "a source of harm or ruin."
They are so dependent on having a stench to complain about that they will crap on the living room floor themselves if necessary.