Zelenskyy Is In DC Begging Republicans For Help. Can They Hear Him From Inside Putin’s Pants?
Yell louder.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is in town to meet with President Joe Biden, and to plead with American politicians — we mean Republicans — to keep sending money and weapons to help them win, instead of siding with the mass-murdering madman Putin. Admittedly, for Republicans to continue siding with Zelenskyy and Ukraine — a good human whose country is a democracy and our ally — is probably an awkward fit, but they should at least try.
It’s an uphill battle for Zelenskyy, to put it extremely gently.
But he’s here.
He’s meeting with President Biden and congressional leaders today, and later he and Biden will do a press conference.
Some of Putin’s representatives in the Senate like Rand Paul and Josh Hawley signaled yesterday that they didn’t even want to hear from Zelenskyy. “I’ve heard his pitch — so I think I understand where he’s coming from,” said Hawley, a seditionist. JD Vance, a ball of human butthair and a waste of breathable air, left the meeting early.
Republicans in both houses blocked aid for Ukraine (and Israel and Taiwan) last week. This week, Republican senators continue to insist that they have to get a deal on immigration in order to fund Ukraine, because they’re hostage-takers and legislative terrorists, uninterested in doing the right thing for Ukraine simply because it’s the right thing to do. (Jonathan Last has an interesting argument for why Biden should cave to Republicans on immigration, or at least call their bluff and make them think they won. It’s worth further discussion.)
In the House, extremist lunatic speaker Mike Johnson may not get funding for Ukraine passed before Congress goes on recess, because of the aforementioned Republican senators and their mangled hard-ons for keeping non-white people from crossing the border. Johnson and his fellow extremists in the House have the same mangled hard-ons for attaching Ukraine funding to xenophobic wet dreams about the border. But hey, we bet Johnson will get a vote to impeach Hunter Biden.
So yes, an uphill battle for Zelenskyy.
CNN’s Manu Raju reports that Zelenskyy, nonetheless, “told senators he does not expect Congress to fail to deliver aid to Ukraine and that he’s still counting on US support to come through, according to Sen. Chris Murphy.” And remember, Ukraine needs the money NOW. Not next month. NOW.
Playbook reported this morning that Zelenskyy is wise to exactly what kind of petty-ass losers Putin’s Republicans are:
Zelenskyy knows enough, the person added, not to take any particular position on U.S. border policy. What he can do is remind lawmakers that Ukraine is possibly the last thing standing between a direct clash between NATO and Russia — a message he previewed yesterday at the National Defense University.
“Let me be frank with you friends,” he said, “if there’s anyone inspired by unresolved issues on Capitol Hill it is just Putin and his sick clique.”
“Unresolved issues on Capitol Hill” is jut about the nicest way we can think of to say that one of the parties has been taken over by anti-democratic fascists who side with our adversaries.
He’s far more more diplomatic than we are:
The [Zelenskyy] adviser added: “He does have empathy towards Republicans because he understands that many Republicans who support Ukraine aid are in a difficult position politically due to populist sentiments in their home districts. But he firmly believes that by helping Ukraine fight back against Russian aggression, the U.S. is saving lots of American lives and treasure in the long run.”
Whoa, Zelenskyy thinks these MAGA Republicans are smarter than their constituents? Hmmmm. We’ll see.
Anyway, Playbook says the Biden administration is projecting cautious optimism. Tick tock.
It can’t be helpful that a whole delegation from authoritarian scumbag Viktor Orbán’s Hungary is also in town, giving Republicans reacharounds and trying to convince them to turn on Ukraine. Surprise, this circle jerk is being produced by the Heritage Foundation, the same outfit running Project 2025, AKA the plan to make sure Donald Trump’s second term is the end of America as actual patriots know it.
As the Guardian explains, the Hungarians are literally here arguing Putin’s case, and some Republicans are slurping it up. It started yesterday:
The first day includes panel speeches about the Ukraine war as well as topics such as Transatlantic Culture Wars. It is expected to feature guests including Magor Ernyei, the international director of the Centre for Fundamental Rights, the institute that organized CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) Hungary. Kelley Currie, a former ambassador under then president Donald Trump, said she was invited “but declined”.
According to a Republican source, some of the attendees, including Republican members of Congress, have been invited to join closed-door talks the next day.
Great. And:
A diplomatic source close to the Hungarian embassy said: “Orbán is confident that the Ukraine aid will not pass in Congress. That is why he is trying to block assistance from the EU as well.”
All humanity’s enemies are feeling mighty froggy, aren’t they!
We have an idea: The EU and NATO should kick Hungary out and exchange it for Ukraine.
Maybe we should send a delegation for some closed-door talks.
Read Timothy Snyder today, who continues to argue that this is a situation of “unusual moral simplicity,” and that our support for Ukraine provides us with an opportunity for “unusual strategic gain” by letting Ukraine essentially act as NATO so NATO doesn’t have to, and showing China what a horrible pain in the ass it really would be to attack Taiwan.
He concludes that “we have an unusual chance to do well by doing right,” and asks, “Will we take it?”
Or to put it more Wonkette-y, you Manichaean dipfucks wanted a cut-and-dried good vs. evil situation? Well here it is.
Give them the money and the fucking weapons.
We’ll pop up a livestream when it’s time for the Biden and Zelenskyy show.
[Guardian]
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Manichean dip-fucking is baddest and goodest dip-fucking at the same time!
Meanwhile, we at Crock, Crank and Botheration are updating our landline poll questions for next week’s episode of Do the Beltway:
1. Why is Joe Biden too old to do his job?
2. Candy bars used to be a nickel. Why is inflation the most pressing issue today?
3. Yes or no: will Putin not be unsatisfied if we don’t give him Ukraine?
4. Given a 2024 match between Godzilla and Trump, why would you vote for Trump?
5. Biden is so old. How old is he!
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you agree with the statement: “the trouble with dames are that the mouth don’t stop.”
7. What are your feelings about why transgenders keep your grandkids from calling?
8. Have you heard the exciting news about Lake Crockagator Estates Florida vacation homes? Stand by for a sales associate, he’ll be right with you.