A Farewell To Marge
She was always good for content.
Yr Wonkette has pounded so much digital ink about Marjorie Taylor Greene over the past five years, it seems untoward not to give her a proper farewell! The rep. from Rome, Georgia, announced last Friday that she’s leaving the House on January 5, 2026, a year before the end of her term.
Did she just now realize that loyalty is a one-way street with Trump, and he doesn’t give a shit about child sex abuse victims?
Anyway, how the four years have flown since we first met her. Flown like a plane full of colicky babies and nauseated drunks with the toilets backed up!
MTG burst on the scene from Rome, Georgia, assuming office in 2021 after being elected to represent the 14th House District, northwest of Atlanta. It’s one of the most deep-red places in the state, going for Trump by nearly 70 percent in 2024.
She won by hollering conspiracy theories that the Fox-addicted residents of rural Georgia were apparently thirsty to hear, including that Barack Obama was a secret Muslim, and he and Hillary Clinton should be EXECUTED because of Pizzagate / Satanism, that school shootings were staged, and John F. Kennedy Jr.’s death in a plane crash was a hoax, possibly staged by those demonic killer Clintons! It was a surprising level of crazy for a politician at the time, though these days it’s just a Tuesday on X’s government feeds.
But MTG’s old blog is quite a read. A child’s garden of 2018 conspiracy theory prose! And remember how she got herself in the news by harassing Parkland school shooting survivor David Hogg, calling him “Little Hitler” online, while at the same time accusing him of being funded by George Soros? Pick a side!
Once elected, her attention-grabbing stunts made her the loudest of the Republican party’s howler monkey wing, and COVID presented a perfect opportunity for attention! In spite of being photographed agreeably wearing a mask in the Atlanta airport in September 2021, she refused to wear one on the House floor, racking up thousands in fines that the Supreme Court eventually forced her to pay. And she compared mandatory masks and vaccine mandates to Jews being forced to wear a yellow star during the Holocaust. In case her George Soros dog whistles were too subtle for the antisemites in the back.
And she loved to target fellow members of the House with Islamophobic accusations, like trying to censure Ilhan Omar for some shit she made up about her being a foreign agent of Somalia, and claiming that Reps. Omar and Rashida Tlaib were not “official” representatives because they were sworn in to Congress on the Quran.
And who could forget her obsession with Hunter Biden’s dong?
And of course she ranted about STOLEN ELECTION, and those Jewish Space lasers. Not to be confused with the Italian space lasers operated by Hugo Chavez’s ghost that Sidney Powell said were changing votes. The Jewish space lasers were courtesy of the Rothschilds, settling California on fire, for Jewishy reasons known only to themselves.
And in the House she became besties with Matt Gaetz, wholeheartedly supporting him through his drugs-and-underage-prostitution scandal, even threatening to release some kind of sexy kompromat she had on other congresspeople if they did not endorse him as attorney general, and has stayed friends with him, appearing on his podcast as recently as August.
Yet at the same time, a part of her seemed sincerely concerned about sex abuse victims. She left the Catholic Church in 2011 in ire over the sex abuse scandals to be re-Baptized as an evangelical. And then there was that Epstein Files discharge petition that she signed and dug in about. Three other Republicans did too, but MTG attracted Trump’s ire in particular.
Why did she ringlead this rebellion? Sincere belief?
Or was it because like Some People Say, Trump marginalized her after Laura Loomer joined his inner circle, and thwarted her ambitions for higher office. Or because like other people (AOC) allege, she’d already made millions of dollars insider trading stocks by buying during tariff dips while in office, and is also timing her departure for days after her pension kicks in. She could stay in the House and lead the Republican resistance, but whatever went into the calculus, the price — being called a TRAITOR by Trump, and getting targeted by his minions — she finds not worth it.
And Jake Sherman of Punchbowl News claims that she will not be the last!
Two kinds of people in the world: ones who get a do-nothing job and think they won the lottery, and those who crawl the walls. And if you’re a go-getter who’s already gotten your nut and your pension, why not trade off of your not-yet-ruined name to go gather more nuts in the private sector?
Do we dare to dream that MTG will have started a trend?
What else to be said? She never shrank herself, never talked in that evangelical baby whisper. She never got a Mar-a-Lago face installed, that surgical symbol of fealty. And she never obsessed over “family values,” divorcing her husband and father of her three kids Perry Greene after cheating on him with a guy from her CrossFit gym the Daily Mail characterized as a “polyamorous tantric sex guru,” then taking up in sin with Brian Glenn, a bloated-yet-devoted swain from the all-online Right Side Broadcasting Network. He’s perhaps best known for being the fucking moron who helped JD Vance bully Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy over not wearing a suit during that horrific spectacle in the Oval Office last August.
She pledged fealty to Trump, and even now says she agrees with him on everything, except the Epstein Files and calling her a traitor part.
Seldom right, but never in doubt!
Well, goodbye, Marge, in 42 days, anyway.
What a time we’ve had. We will always cherish this gif.
A SELECTION!
[Daily Mail / New York Times archive link]
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She left the Catholic Church over sex abuse and became an Evangelical. Good thing sex abuse never happens with that branch of Christianity.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!