Did Ukraine Invade Russia During The Olympics? LOL, Yes.
Slava Ukraini, MFers!
As Wonkette is a well-known WARBLOG, we would be remiss not to point out that, while everybody in America has been distracted with whatever, Ukraine has kinda sorta totally invaded Russia.
Aren’t you so happy for them?
They finally got the aid they needed from America, and about a week ago they just reached the border and said “fuck it,” but in Ukrainian — no, really, that’s kind of how it was — and went across the border and just started taking villages.
So that’s approximately the most humiliating thing imaginable for Vladimir Putin, and also for American Republican traitors who have spent lo these past several years with Putin’s dick in their mouths, saying Ukraine can’t possibly beat Russia.
LIKE ALL THESE FUCKERS.
War is always changing, but as we type this, here is where some things stand:
Ukrainian forces have advanced 7.5 miles into the Kursk region of Russia, which is notably not in Ukraine.
Ukraine has taken 28 villages.
Ukraine’s front is 40 kilometers long, or about 25 miles.
The acting governor of Kursk says it’s a “complicated” situation, on account of how Ukraine controls 28 villages there.
Says that governor, Alexei Smirnov: “For us, the problem is that there is no clear front line, no understanding of where the [Ukrainian] combat units are. It is very important to know where the enemy is and at what time.”
Ahhh yes, that seems very complicate! (To be read aloud in Borat voice.)
Putin wants Ukraine to leave and stop invading his country, awwww bless his heart.
So that’s cool.
For his part, Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelenskyy says YEP, BITCHES, we invaded Russia. He says Ukraine currently controls 386 square miles of Russia, so only 6,601,284 to go.
The Washington Post reports that Putin is all mad, but that as he was barking orders about counterterrorism measures to his security team, the governor of the oblast next door, Belgorod, was evacuating Russians because of attacks coming across the border from Ukraine. (121,000 have reportedly been evacuated from Kursk.)
This is, of course, the first time Russia has been invaded since World War II. Ukraine can’t claim similar, because Russia has been invading and raping and beheading its babies for years now, and currently controls 20 percent of its sovereign territory. Foreign Policy says this is the “largest territorial gain by either side since the successful Ukrainian counteroffensives in Kharkiv and Kherson in the fall of 2022.”
Senators Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) have been in Ukraine this week, and had this to say:
Speaking to reporters after meeting with top Ukrainian officials including Zelensky, Graham, who has been an important Republican ally for Ukraine, described the Kursk operation as “bold, brilliant, beautiful.” […]
“The breakthrough in Kursk on that front is historic. It is a seismic breakthrough,” Blumenthal said.
The senators insisted that, especially amid such momentum, the United States must loosen restrictions that prevent Kyiv from using U.S.-provided weapons for long-range attacks inside Russia. Washington has long limited use of its equipment for such attacks, asking instead that the weapons be used to strike Russian-controlled territory inside Ukraine.
“We can’t let Ukraine fight with one arm behind its back, giving them weapons but then telling them they can’t use them in the way that’s necessary to win,” Blumenthal said.
The Post reports that Kremlin media is trying to report about this as a “one-sided battle dominated by Russia.” Yep, Russia’s got Ukraine right where they want them, AKA inside Russia, taking control of their towns and hamlets. LOL.
There’s much more at the Post, if you want more detailed details.
How devastating and embarrassing for Putin. Much more of this and Russia’s oligarchs are gonna start writing couch jokes about him.
You know how the Kremlin’s American fluffers, led by Donald Trump, are always coming up with peace plans where it’s only fair, they say, for Ukraine to give up massive chunks of its sovereign territory?
Well how about this?
Maybe Russia should just cede all this territory to Ukraine, for peace.
Maybe Ukraine should hold fake votes in Kursk and Belgorod, to see if those Russians want to be part of Russia or Ukraine. Yay, they picked Ukraine!
Maybe Zelenskyy should give a speech about how Russia is kind of a fake country anyway.
Ha ha!
Slava Ukraini, etc. Fuck them motherfuckers up!
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My father’s father was full-blooded Ukrainian, so I’m a quarter. Other nationalities have special days and national heroes and national myths, but we don’t, not really. We’re The Most Conquered Caucasians. Goddamn everybody took over Ukraine at some point, so we spent recorded history under the boot of an oppressor until recently, and got to be a democracy even more recently.
What I’m babbling about is that the opportunity to develop national pride kinda passed us by.
Until Vladimir Vladimirivitch Putin made the single stupidest decision of his life and pissed us off. Now we get to show the entire world *who the fuck we are,* and it’s being streamed live online.
Slava Ukraini.
And through it all Ukraine is still trolling Russia. Seems that Ukrainian troops have been leaving reviews on Yelp of restaurants in Kurst.