We got another look into Donald Trump’s deranged narcissism this week in the form of an extensive Washington Post story (gift link) about Trump’s Golden Ballroom. According to two anonymous insiders who know the deets, Trump and the first architect on the project “clashed” over fiddly little design elements like whether there were enough fire exits for people to escape the ginormous building in an emergency. Per the Post’s insiders,
James McCrery II withdrew from the project last October after warning repeatedly that Trump was insisting on a preliminary design that did not provide adequate emergency exit routes or fire-containment measures […]
Trump brushed off McCrery’s concerns, they said, and the president countered that no building codes apply to White House construction.
“I am the code,” Trump said.
Say hello to Compliance Officer Dredd!
The article patiently points out that under normal presidents, renovations at the White House are done by federal agencies that have to follow national best-practices standards for building safety to the “maximum extent feasible,” although there’s a big beautiful exception allowing departures from those standards if complying with them “would present a national security risk.”
That’s some catch! Trump must think it’s the best there is, which explains his weird insistence that the ballroom’s roof will include “the greatest drone empire that you've ever seen, and it’s gonna protect Washington.” Great Leader has also recently decided that “national security” is the magical incantation that will let him build the Great Fugly Arch and even to ban reporters from networks that piss him off. (The latter stratagem didn’t work.)
In any case, a White House spokesperson told the Post in an email that it would be “factually false and totally inaccurate” to say that “McCrery’s departure from the project was in any way associated with code issues,” which with this crowd of inveterate liars most likely means that it was only one of the reasons.
We bet that if this story continues to get attention, we’ll eventually be told that McCrery left to protect “national security.”
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The White House statement went on to insist that compliance with safety codes is super important in the Grift Ballroom project, and that fire and safety rules have definitely not taken a backseat to Trump’s predilection for bigger, uglier, more fascist aesthetics, heavens no!
“Life safety issues have been addressed and resolved continuously as the design has evolved,” the statement reassured the nosy reporters.
And how about this reassuring detail? “The current team of architects and consultants is responsible for designing the East Wing according to nationally recognized fire and safety codes, [the statement] said.”
Golly, we wonder if that careful wording is for the purpose of ass covering? Not Trump’s fault if the building ends up having the durability and safety of a doublewide manufactured by D’ethtrap Trailers and Landscaping LLC.
The Post also got its hands on documents and early ballroom designs that have Trump’s Sharpie-scribbles all over them with notes and comments. On one sketch by McCrery, Trump added lines with Sharpie showing that he wanted the entire footprint of the building to be far larger, with big black lines shoving the exterior walls out to where McCrery’s sketch had landscaping.
While he was at it, Trump — or at least the “Sharpie marks” — “also scratched out proposed service corridors, extending the ballroom the entire width of the second floor.” Another set of scribbles got rid of “two sets of service stairs,” because Donald Trump is a Master Builder who knows that the most important thing is having room for more guests. Wouldn’t want some other leader to be throwing bigger parties.
We’re not sure whether anyone pointed out to the Great Man that well before those guests are seated, it’s a good idea to make sure the waiters will be able to bring food to their tables, to say nothing of making sure that if the building bursts into flame, the guests will be able to leave. But it looks like McCrery tried at least:
McCrery informed the White House that Trump’s ballroom design did not meet fire safety codes, which require the majority of guests to be able to quickly exit through the main entrance during an emergency, according to the people and documents. The architect also pointed out that alternative emergency exit routes out of the building were insufficient, and that there was little in the design to prevent a kitchen fire from rapidly spreading into the event space on the floor above.
Yeah, whatever, fire safety blah blah blah. The piece also notes that Trump’s preferred ballroom wish list expanded the ballroom’s maximum occupancy but didn’t bother increasing the stuff necessary to accommodate more and more people. There weren’t enough restrooms to start with, and as Trump demanded that more square footage go to the event space, there wasn’t room to add more terlets, even if they were made of gold. “One early ballroom design featured just seven stalls in the women’s bathroom,” the Post points out, ignoring that they would be the greatest toilet stalls ever, probably made of marble, and without those gross little boxes for ladies to throw unmentionable Curse of Eve supplies away in, nobody wants to see those.
Say, we should probably mention here one more fun detail: A March budget for the tacky monstrosity “included nearly $6 million in gold leaf.” Sounds classy, though we bet whoever did that estimate didn’t sign it, to avoid gilt by association. (We stole that from Sir Terry Pratchett.)
The Post mentions near the end of the piece that “McCrery resigned the week of Oct. 20, the same week demolition began on the former East Wing.” Gosh, that’s some timing! The story notes that even after McCrery left the project, White House staff “continued to discuss life-safety issues and a code review for the ballroom project. It is unclear if a review was ever completed.”
Who knows? It’s the Trump White House, which has far worse ADHD than I do, so let’s just assume that review was set aside in favor of something really important, like deciding what font to use on the new DANGER WILL ROBINSON signs Trump wants to erect outside the Smithsonian — a dozen of them, at a cost of $7000 each — to warn people there are bad ideas inside. There’s so much to think about when you’re trying to reshape America to please Mad King Don.
[WaPo (gift link) / NYT (gift link)
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10 to 1 odds the restrooms are all pay toilets.
There is the in for the next Dem prez to tear the Epstein Ballroom down. Fire code violations. Can't have the People's House killing the guests.