Greg Gutfeld Pretty Sure Hunter Biden Trial Rigged To Make Joe Biden Look Innocent
These people have raccoons in their brains.
Something very sad about Fox News’s Greg Gutfeld — there are so many things, like for instance the fact that he really seems to think his dumb rhymes are “jokes” — is that he appears to be reading his hot takes on TV word for word. Watch him deliver this mindless thing about how the Hunter Biden trial is good news for Joe Biden and — dear God, he’s reading, isn’t he?
It just makes the entire display more pathetic, we think.
Anyway, here is the thing that Greg, or one of Greg’s hired helpers, or an entire team that maybe exists to make Greg look this cool, came up with about Hunter Biden. He starts delivering his monologue after Jesse Watters has a conniption about Joe Biden pardoning Hunter Biden.
GUTFELD: This is a win for Joe Biden because we're not talking about Joe Biden. Again, Hunter has taken one for the team.
Joe Biden’s son is on trial (on charges that really are a joke), he’s saying, and this is rigged in Joe Biden’s favor, because …
GUTFELD: This deflects -- going after this charge deflects everything from "the big guy" and the kickbacks and the influence peddling.
Because those are Fox News wet fever dreams, skidmarks in House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer’s underpants.
In other words, imaginary.
They worked this hard to find a thing to charge a Biden with, and this is all they came up with. Bless their hearts.
GUTFELD: It's like -- this ticks the judicial box, so everybody can say, "Oh, look. It's equal justice." But in reality, it's not equal justice, if you remember, they curated a law, a bespoke charge, bespoke --
JESSE WATTERS: Like my suit.
GUTFELD: And then they got the guy, Trump and then they tailored the crime to fit.
Another Fox News lie for the smelly yokels at home. Trump’s prosecution in New York was for a pretty common crime. That fact that Fox News viewers are abject morons who wouldn’t know how to use their stubby fingers to spend five seconds Googling that doesn’t change anything.
Also, Watters preening about his suit being bespoke is pretty revelatory of what a priss he is. Too bad more than five Fox News viewers don’t know what that word means.
GUTFELD: Meanwhile the Hunter Biden crime is real but has no blowback on "the big guy," which is intended.
RIGGED! STOLLEN!
GUTFELD: You know, it's the only charge that's untethered to Joe. There's no discussion of the influence peddling or the kickbacks.
It’s also the only set of allegations that remotely exist in the real world, outside of the raccoon-infested MAGA brain. We already made a joke about skidmarks in James Comer’s great big threadbare underpants, don’t make us do it again.
GUTFELD: And then I do agree, Hunter will get off, as he usually does but I do think this is one of those things where it is a nice little package, and as always, it's about "the big guy."
Only in a brain as diseased as the Fox News MAGA brain can “president’s son on criminal trial on BS charges” be turned into a win for the president.
And again, watch that video and tell us he’s not reading, that those zingers weren’t pre-planned.
Just dreadfully embarrassing.
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Everybody is always saying “well then, I won’t vote for Hunter Biden” in response to this stupidity, but you know, I hope Hunter does run for something because at this point I’d vote for him just to spite these morons. (I kid, I would not do this, because my whole existence isn’t driven by tribal stupidity and “make the other side of the political spectrum cry”)
OT: I would like to tell, again, my granduncle's story of what he did at D-Day.
He was in a tank going up the beach. The Vichy opened fire. A shell landed under the tank and blew up. It flipped the tank over.
Uncle Al got everybody out of the tank and kept on heading up the beach. He took two of the Vichy with him that day.
Thank you, Uncle Al.