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Guess Ron DeSantis Running For President Against Nancy Pelosi We Mean Kevin McCarthy Now
His ongoing humiliation gives us life.
Donald Trump is absolutely crushing Ron DeSantis in Republican primary polls. The Florida governor is barely holding off libertarian rapper Vivek Ramaswamy. DeSantis has responded to this setback with the bold strategy of defending Trump, who faces 91 felony indictments (for now).
Last week, Fox News’s Howard Kurtz asked DeSantis if he thought Trump would sell out Ukraine to Vladimir Putin if he was elected again. DeSantis didn’t answer, “Yes, duh,” which is the only answer as well as a compelling (once right-wing) argument against another Trump presidency. Instead, he prevaricated:
“The idea that Trump is some type of lackey for Vladimir Putin is just false.”
“He had a very, very strong Russia policy.”
LOL. Still nope.
“The idea that he wants to be buddy buddy with Putin, I don’t really see that.”
Then you are stupid.
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Trump and other pro-Putin Republicans provide aid and comfort to a US enemy — Russia, not Ukraine — when they broadcast that US support for an ally — Ukraine, not Russia — is dependent solely on whether President Joe Biden wins re-election. As Tim Miller from the Bulwark observed, this encourages Russia to hold out for another year and a half.
But DeSantis would rather go after Trump on issues Republican primary voters have repeatedly said they give fuck all about, and like any common bully, DeSantis picked on a much weaker target.
Speaker In Abstentia Kevin McCarthy told Fox News this weekend that Trump was a more formidable candidate than DeSantis. This is an obvious fact. DeSantis is not just losing to Trump in real time; he’s also losing hypothetical head-to-head races against both Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. He’s a loser, baby, and nobody loves him. He’s all the mopey 1990s hits.
“Kevin McCarthy says I’m a little different from Donald Trump. I agree,” DeSantis responded, presumably reading off PAC-tested cue cards. “In Florida, we run budget surpluses. We’ve paid down our debt. I’ve kept every one of my promises. Meanwhile, McCarthy and Trump worked together to add $7 trillion — more debt than our country racked up in its first 200 years — to the debt in just four years.”
Kee-rist, this is a positively Jeb Bush 2015 platform. Republican primary voters don’t care about debt. They would happily set banned books on fire with $100 bills as kindling. DeSantis fundraiser and lobbyist Justin Sayfie raved that this sick burn is “an opportunity for Gov. DeSantis to identify with the grassroots base of the Republican Party and implicitly challenge President Trump to do the same.”
Fiscal conservatives aren’t the party’s “grassroots base.” He’s dreaming. The true base is chock full of MAGA nuts who hate democracy and drag queens. Imagine losing to an indicted coup plotter and thinking you can turn things around with a 2012 Paul Ryan stump speech.
Politico reminds us that despite serving in the House, DeSantis doesn’t have many friends there. Most of the Florida delegation has endorsed Trump.
This is probably why DeSantis has been reduced to his own personal election denial. Perhaps all the polls showing him losing just failed to adequately measure his smoldering charisma.
“I don’t know if [Trump’s] that ahead in Iowa,” DeSantis insisted during a recent interview. “He may be ahead but I think it’s fluid.”
Trump has held a consistent and expanding lead in Iowa. DeSantis, meanwhile, has steadily lost support since he launched his doomed campaign. There’s even some potential for either Tim Scott or Nikki Haley to bump DeSantis from his distant second place position in Iowa, but the only resulting “fluid” there are DeSantis’s tears.
As always, it’s an absolute delight watching Ron DeSantis lose in the most humiliating way possible, even to a dangerous psychopath we’ll all rally to defeat again.
Subscribe to his YouTube channel for more fun content.
Catch SER on his podcast, The Play Typer Guy.